Most boring family Christmas conversation competition

[GinNsnowmen]

So far this Christmas break we have had how the woman across the road keeps her bins to the SIDE of her path at the driveway and a long extended discussion about the pros and cons of bin positioning. Apparently "we just don't know what she gets up to" is a comment that was appropriate in that conversation. I'm not sure what my neighbours think about my bin position?!!

High drama of the day has been when an unknown car parked perfectly legally near the house. This prompted lots of walking back and forwards at windows and some fake retrieval of stuff from our cars to nosey. Can anyone compete with that level of drama? A friend suggested we log it with 101.

(And as it seems necessary to say this these days this is lighthearted. I love my family but in large doses they are exhausting and this is just some light relief to keep me smiling politely.)

And in particular where DH's friend Dave's centre of gravity would be. We nearly phoned Dave to check. I

^^

I guess Dave has short legs?

Fils tedious conversation about whether our boiler would be sufficient to heat our planned extension or whether we should get another one for it. Complete with musings on wattage or ampage or something and whether a gravity fed system would be ok or a pump to increase water pressure. Zzzzzzzzzz

XH, telling everyone at immense length about his research into his family history. It was deadly boring the first time, and it is no less so on the 5,000th re-telling.

A long list of who my mum had given biscuits, Chocolate Orange or boxed chocolates to. In other words, a ranking of who she likes least of all the people she's not keen on. Chocolate Orange people are bottom of the league, mainly neighbours' children plus the doctor's receptionist.

DB has come in to some money and it has made him super boring. As soon as he arrived be launched into a speech ( because it certainly wasnt a conversation) about Brexit, how everyone else was managing their finances wrong except him, mortgages despite him having paid off his mortgage, zzzzzzzzz after a couple of hours I was losing the will to live. I dont mind discussing politics but this was a one man Ted talk with no audience participation welcome.

How lovely the colours are on a bar of chocolate.

They may or may not be getting carpets cleaned this year. Will need to really think about and discuss it. I'm much more impulsive than most of my family. Not about wild things I just decide something and do it. They like to plan, research and discuss it for months. Often plan when to plan. It exhausts me!

BraveGoldie is on the wrong thread. She is on the 'should I annoy the guy I've been seeing for 5 months by ringing and texting when he is out with his mates' thread

That pineapples and their juice isn't stickey. Me and my dad nearly came to blows over this controversial topic.

Stories about a relative's friend whom we have never met and are never likely to meet. This friend's teen son is going through that phase of dressing like their heroes except relative couldn't remember the name of the heroes in question so went on and on about the clothes the teen is wearing and how his hair is styled all the while asking us "do you know who it is yet?" Finally they got out their phone and showed us a photo of a bog standard skinny, surly teenager wearing jeans and a tshirt then got grumpy when we still couldn't help them remember who the kid's hero is. DH got a text from this relative several hours after they left saying simply: "Kanye West".

Relative's new printer. How fast it prints, how clear the printing is, how many pages they get to the cartridge, how silent it is while printing. DH whispered a crude joke about the printer when we passed on the stairs having both made excuses for a break from the room and then I couldn't listen to anymore printer talk without avoiding his eye to stop me from laughing.

"Do you remember Fred So-and-so?"
"No, who's that?"
"Used to live in Placeyou'veneverheardof, went out with Edna So-and-so You'vealsoneverheardof?"
"Erm, no?"
"I think you went to school with his daughter, Lucy So-and-so? She used to have a part-time job at Randomshop I think?"
"No, it really doesn't ring a bell. Anyway how come?"
"Well.... he died."

Is that you, mum?

I had a very similar conversation yesterday ending like this:

Mum: "You do know Susan and Jim! We originally met them on that week away to Barcelona!"

Me: "I've never been to Barcelona."

Mum: "You have! We went for that week after your wedding."

Me: "That week when I was 6000 miles away in an entirely different country and on my honeymoon? That week?"

Mum: "Oh. I could have sworn you were there. Well anyway, you know Susan? She's married to Jim?"

Me: "That couple you met in Barcelona?"

Mum: "Yes! See? You do know them..."

My MIL, to my (pregnant) Spanish SIL, which dominates the whole conversation, in each case, for HOURS:

Night one: Will the baby be Catholic, like you? I'm very worried that I'll never be able to go to church with my grandchild if you decide it's going to be Catholic.

Night two: is the baby going to be vegetarian, like you? I'm very worried about it. I don't know it it's healthy for a child to be vegetarian. Do you eat chicken? I don't know what I'll cook for it if it's vegetarian.

Night three: Are you going to speak to the baby in Spanish? I'm very worried that I won't be able to speak to the baby if you only speak Spanish to it. Maybe you should have English lessons so that you can speak to the baby in English. (MIL got very upset and started crying when her DS suggested that she learn some Spanish.)

Night four: I can't decide if it's better to get bread that's pre-sliced, or to ask the baker for an unsliced loaf. (Despite an hour and a half weighing up the pros and cons of each this was never resolved.)

In our house it's mostly been DH and I trying to explain our jobs to his parents (in response to their questions). We've had the same jobs for quite a while, and they're not particularly complicated/special jobs

At our house a long debate over whether Wensleydale was counted as a blue and / or soft cheese and pregnancy appropriate or not

None of those discussing it are pregnant or indeed like Wensleydale but it was a good 40 min discussion

These are brilliant 😂😂

We've had a three hour long story about 'when I had to wait for three hours for the RAC man... although actually it wasn't the RAC man, I thought it would be but then it was actually Green Flag. Or was it that I thought it would be Green Flag, because we got it through the bank? No that's right, you see we went to the bank...' which was actually about forty different stories to provide background to the main story, which was essentially ' the car broke down, I had to wait three hours, it was cold'

Morrisons petrol x3

This morning MIL explained to me what beach huts were and you they worked . Apparently you can buy them but you don’t have to you can’t rent one instead. You can rent one for a short time or a long time. It all depends. They are right near the beach you see , so it depends if you want be right near the beach or not. Look there’s one...right by the beach.

A blow by blow account of DM’s neighbour’s medical conditions, their history, symptoms, treatments and likely prognoses. I have never met or spoken to said woman......

Excuse typos...if you haven’t fallen asleep reading that!

Brother in laws cousin may or may not be getting a new cat. They already have 5 cats so a 6th will be big news. Opinion is divided on if it is too many

The cost of childrens parties at varying locations in a place I don't live in and have no DC

SOFTPLAY AT NEARLY TWICE THE PRICE

HOLD THE FRONT PAGES

Oh weird! I thought I was posting on a totally different thread!

You are welcome to my sofa any time of course! 🤣

Did anyone watch Gavin and Stacy last night? They sat in the pub having a conversation about the best service station to stop at along the M4. One of the most tedious subjects I’ve ever heard but they managed to make it sound interesting and funny.

And in particular where DH's friend Dave's centre of gravity would be. We nearly phoned Dave to check.

^^

I guess Dave has short legs?

managedmis, No, interestingly (!) not. Dave is perfectly proportioned, in contrast to DH who has the same length of legs as Dave but whose body is considerably longer.

Hence the debate.

I can't recall now sober whether DH was proud or sllghtly offended that we were suggesting his centre of gravity would be higher than Dave's.

My brother who who brought up many highly offensive (but interesting) topics of conversation two days prior to Christmas, had clearly been warned to not drink and keep the convo strictly PG.

He decided to talk about various models of mobile phones. Apple vs Android? Buying outright vs contract? Especially interesting for my H who does this for a living and was called upon many times to interject.

Fascinating.