Most boring family Christmas conversation competition

[GinNsnowmen]

So far this Christmas break we have had how the woman across the road keeps her bins to the SIDE of her path at the driveway and a long extended discussion about the pros and cons of bin positioning. Apparently "we just don't know what she gets up to" is a comment that was appropriate in that conversation. I'm not sure what my neighbours think about my bin position?!!

High drama of the day has been when an unknown car parked perfectly legally near the house. This prompted lots of walking back and forwards at windows and some fake retrieval of stuff from our cars to nosey. Can anyone compete with that level of drama? A friend suggested we log it with 101.

(And as it seems necessary to say this these days this is lighthearted. I love my family but in large doses they are exhausting and this is just some light relief to keep me smiling politely.)

'I love that song Feliz Navidad'
'Why do they sing it at Christmas though, it means Happy Birthday'
'Errr, no it doesn't'
'Yes it does!'
(Checks Google for back up)
'Sorry no I've double checked, it means Happy Christmas'
'Google is wrong, it means Happy Birthday. What's Birthday in Spanish?'
(Checks Google again)
'Cumpleaños...Oh yes, I used to sing that song at High School in Spanish class'
(Separate discussion about Spanish being my first language at school)
'Anyway, it does mean Happy Birthday!'
DH - 'NO IT DOESN'T!!!!'

FFS!

Routes my mother has driven lately. From Point A (somewhere we’ve occasionally been perhaps) to Point B (that we’ve never heard of) with each and every road described by number. “Then we took the A41 to the A5 and the M6....” with intermittent traffic news, weather conditions, roadworks, petrol stops.........
The road numbers! All of them!

We had a minutely detailed account of one of MILs colleagues' employment and health issues (I've never met the woman but now know far more about her than I should) and an equally detailed account of the construction of a model aeroplane with approval of the seven different files used and their various effects.

Yesterday DP and my dad had a conversation about concentration camps they have visited! How festive!

@GetOffTheTableMabel were they travelling through Staffordshire?

We used to have looooong boring discussions about tv soaps between my grandma's. As if the people were real people they knew. All grandparents have passed away and I'd love to go back.

Meanwhile my boring cousin has appeared by her side and is almost bobbing with excitement at the prospect of explaining her own pissing sockets and all her bloody appliances
@draughtycatflap I’ve read that sentence 4 times and I’m still shaking with laughter! 😆

The sockets finished me off!!

My did once connected up his camera to the TV to show us a slideshow of photos he’d taken of a lorry unloading behind a Tesco near my Great Aunt’s house.

@InTheBleakMidwinterIWouldSing Lord, we have this. To be fair it's not exclusive to xmas gatherings by any means.

We sometimes have a slightly twisted version of it though, where we are forced to try remember an event or a person which the instigator clearly remembers and wants to talk about, but pretends not to remember any of the details of and instead keeps feeding you a bit more and a bit more info. while you sit there all feeling like you've gone mad. It's really weird and very annoying. It can go on for ages with drawn out prompts and questions.

Gradually they have to give so many prompts that it becomes clear that they remember it all perfectly well and the thrust of the original question (where was it? when was it? do you remember who it was who bla bla?) is totally pointless because it's obvious they remember every detail perfectly well from 40 years ago and - suprise surprise - you don't because you were only 7 at the time!! I mean why?? Why don't you just say ''remember in 1979 when you were a 7 and Fanny from no.42 gave you that old Barbie doll the pink dress''?

and breathe.

My mum’s neighbour’s airing cupboard. I cannot believe this should ever be a topic for conversation but it was.

During Christmas dinner we were debating where the centre of gravity in a man's - as opposed to a woman's - body would be .. and whether a man with a long back and short legs would have a higher centre of gravity than a man with an average length body and legs. Much disagreement ensued.
And in particular where DH's friend Dave's centre of gravity would be. We nearly phoned Dave to check. I'm not sure he would have been able to give us a conclusive answer though

My in laws today asking if my dh remembered mr x who lived in the street 30 years ago,dh went to school with his daughter who has now married someone who works for a company who does something with computers and did dh remember that he used to play in the house.
It turned out the father had passed away and 3 people had told mil all in the same day,one person even stopped her in Asda to tell her.
Conversations tend to go in a roundabout fashion with dh going no I dont remember that person and looking non plussed.
They have never left the valley they were born and bred in apart from occasional day trips and the whole world as they know it is centred in the valley with everything noted and discussed at length.
Neighbourhood watch is not required with mil twitching the nets and reporting back.
It's hard work being there.

Normally if at DMs for Christmas we get an hours worth of who parked where on the street and the whys and wherefores of whether this is "completely fair" or "an outrage"

Standard, if related to "us" = fair

Family of neighbours = Outrage

Ohhh, what is it about Christmas that brings out the most monotonous conversations?! 😫

Yesterday consisted of my DBro filling every break in conversation by asking my DSis ‘How’s your back now?’, ‘Is the hot water bottle helping?’, ‘Is that TENS machine any good?’ ad nauseam. Or my DSis boring the arse off everyone talking about some bloke she works with and what illnesses he’s had, as well as giving everyone a rundown of all the posts on her Facebook newsfeed 😫😖

As soon as road numbers are mentioned I’m out

I’m afraid it was my husband who was the Christmas bore this year specialist topics included Other People’s Dogs, My Drains and Central Heating, and the ever popular Top Ten Brexit Rants.

When I saw my sister and brother in law about to lose consciousness from tedium, I asked him if we could please tune out of BBC Radio Bore, and now he’s not speaking to me.

An improvement

I give you a discussion on locking wheel nuts. Oh yes. Christmas dinner was fun or sleep inducing depending whether you were my FIL and DH or everyone else.

Lasted a full hour.

What time are we leaving
What route did we take to get here
Are we taking the same route home

Do you think it's a hint?

We have had brexit, the virtues of socialism from my resident communist and train timetables ... I'm hiding

@draughtycatflap you win

**Meanwhile my boring cousin has appeared by her side and is almost bobbing with excitement at the prospect of explaining her own pissing sockets and all her bloody appliances.

Well done for not texting him! I think people are being a bit tough to you, but I also agree. It is really really important that this guy (any guy) doesn't become your only Centre of gravity. It's not healthy for you and he will find it smothering.

Embrace the time to do something you really enjoy!! I love having an evening to myself. Run a bath with candles and a glass of wine, binge on a favorite tv show, read a book, write in your diary, plan your year's goals or just breathe and relax.....And if I am in a rare time of not feeling like downtime, I would grab the chance to do something constructive (sort something in the house etc), or go out myself.... the last thing you should be doing is watching your phone and thinking about him!

Did you know Gloria in the village had gone into a home? You remember, GLORIA! You met her at granny's funeral in 1993. Anyway, she's in a home now in Kelso.

I have no recollection of Gloria and couldn't give two hoots about her accommodation.

@BraveGoldie i don't know what you're talking about but it sounds much more interesting than all of our convos

Put another dime in the dukebox, baby

DS (6) thought it was: put another dime in the shoebox, baby

FIL then proceeded to explain to ME that I was wrong, and had been teaching DS the wrong words