Anyone else got a Christmas bastard?

[Zaphodsotherhead]

Putting the decorations up today. I got out my Christmas Garland, which I wind with lights and put up along the staircase.

Well, anything that could get tangled, did get tangled, the lights got stuck on the fake fir cones, the garland got caught on itself, it snagged on the bannister, every time I untangled the lights they'd tangle back up around each other and the whole thing took me an hour longer than it should have done.

I have hereby christened that garland 'The Christmas Bastard' and thusly shall it be known in this household.

Please make me feel better by telling me that it's not my cackhanded attempts to erect it and that other people have their own Christmas Bastards!

DS is now 16 so the bloody elf is over. It turned up in the decorations box this year DS put it in the downstairs loo and has started referring to it as the stasi in the khazi. I feel that my parenting has been a triumph.

You may think that statement is funny OP but what did make me smile (and eye roll this morning) was dh going into the hall and shouting 'oh bloody hell where is Jesus now?!'

we are yet to locate Jesus....

I have St Dicklas, the musical Santa Claus whose trousers fall down when the music plays and he dances ......

‘The Christmas Bastard’ is a great cross stitch idea. You could accompany the words with any suitable image. Better than Santa’s.

the glitter shitter hahaha I too have several glitter shitters in the form of fake light up presents. Every time someone coughs in the same room as them a tonne of glitter drops to the floor. They do look nice though!

We have a garland that's called "the fucking green" for similar reasons op

At least y'all have decorations to do the tripping up and be worthy of being called names.

We moved earlier in the year and can I find the bastarding decorations? Can I flipping heckers like find the little hidey balls of delight.

Found the tree! It's standing proud in all its nekked glory and at this rate that's how it's going to stay.

Bah humbug.

Fibre optic tree gave up the ghost yesterday
So now no pretty sparkly lights
Dh got another power box from the lift..up for not a snug fit..s now baubles are dropping off it’s twig branches. Crashing on the laminate floor

If that’s not bad enough, he started to play silent night...sets my teeth on edge that one

Much prefer the jolly ones, here we come a wassailling, merrily to Bethlehem, ding dong merrily high...it’s a celebration not a dirge

Hoping postie is going to deliver my new hyde family jam cds today...they’ve done a special 4 song Christmas one so looking forward to that.

@thebearwentoverthebumble Ahaha I have one of those too, his favourite Christmas thing apart from merry midnight caroling is petting the garland in the kitchen door. Which is a glitter shitter. So he can be fabulously sparkly while he keeps everyone awake.

And my godmother went and bought him a bloody elf and his big sister keeps retrieving it from the bin and staging it in random places round the house. If she wasn't bigger than me she'd be in the bin with him!