Before I begin, I should say: I’m mixed race though look very white.
I was telling my my 5-year-old that I am going to look for someone to look after him after-school one day a week from next term. And he said, “Fine but please can you not choose anyone black?” I drilled this down and down and down and he meant what he said. Not someone black.
I said “Why?”
And he said “I don’t know.”
I said, “You know grandma was black?” (He never met her, she died before he was born).
And he said, “I know, but I don’t want you to choose anyone black.”
I said, “You know mummy is half black?”
And he said, “I know, but please don’t choose anyone black.”
I had absolutely no idea what to say. I remember reading once that you shouldn’t shame children for saying things like that, and we were in a cafe at the time, so all I said was, “You know what you said isn’t good, right?”
And he said, “I don’t know all the things yet!”
I didn’t want to get into it (mostly because I didn’t want to get it wrong) so I said we’d talk about it later.
But I am still totally unable to think what to say. I’m heartbroken. Completely and utterly heartbroken.
Can someone give me some advice? I don’t know what to do! And I don’t know why he’s saying things like that! We live somewhere pretty multicultural in london, though his school is quite cringe-worthily white and middle class.