My toddler keeps calling the Christmas tree an arsehole.

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

My twins have delayed speech and often make up their own words for things. Obviously, we encourage them to talk as much as possible.

We recently put up the Christmas tree. 'Christmas!' I chirruped brightly at them. 'Can you say Christmas?'

'Scrimshaw,' said DT1. Well, okay, sorta.

'Arsehole,' said DT2, firmly, pointing at the tree.

Oh God. We are going to my mum's for the 25th. Every time DT2 sees a Christmas tree, she now exclaims 'Arsehole!' enthusiastically. She has never heard that word - it's just coincidence that she's making that sound - but it is unfortunately very, very clear.

Can I train her out of it in the next week??

Scrimshaw and arsehole? Are you sure they're not 17th century sailors?

my speech delayed child used "shit" for "this" and "fruck" instead of "truck" for so long. Thankfully outgrown now...but he is seven haha
Good luck!

you know it’s not just for this year, don’t you? By the end of December family folklore will have it that you call Christmas trees arseholes for ever more...!

BillHader you know, DT2 has recently started calling DT1 'Fishy' (not his actual name).

I think you may be on to something.

Most of their speech consists in 'oo-lee-lallee' and 'gibback baw' and suchlike, so the very clear 'arsehole' was rather a shock!

Oh dear! I bet you were trying not to laugh. @PotteringAlong is right it'll become family folklore before the year is out.

My brother used to call brownies choccy doodars (noone remembered how or why he did) so for the past 25 years that's what they've been called.

Most toddlers go through a phase of shouting 'fuck you' to people who've helped them. 'DS to lollipop man: Fuck you very much!' Every day.

I think Scrimshaw and Arsehole are full of festive cheer!

This time of year will be full of "say Thank You for the present"
"Fuc Ooh" says every toddler.

Clearly your child has heard someone say arsehole before. This really feels like a wind up thread...

2yo with speech delay here too. The day he got his ‘Ducklings’ swimming certificate was a dark day. “I FUCKING!! I FUCKING!”

Our DD's first word was "socks" which unfortunately came out as "cock" which she shouted at everyone she saw for a good two days. Older people tended not to notice, younger people sniggered!!!

It might be..but it’s a good laugh.

My grandson used to say nukman for snowman...he could’ve said duck an I suppose 😂

He could..or fuckman like i intended to write

This is brilliant... Laughed so much I just spat coffee over my desk. "Fahhcc Ooo" for the laugh OP

that’s brilliant! Who said it should be a Christmas tree anyway?!
My DD used to say “fucks sake” quite frequently when she was about 2 (my fault completely!) thankfully Mr Tumble was around at the time with his “Fun shapes” so I used to pretend that was what she was saying!

My Christmas tree was an arsehole this year, so I whole heartedly agree with your ds.

Fork, fox, thank you... all minefields for toddlers.

Dd used to have an obsession with taking her shoes and socks off, around the age of 2. She used to say 'foot off' to denote her desire for said obsession, although she'd approximate it in Toddlerese.

The memory of pushing her at a dead run in her buggy through our local high street while she yelled 'Fuck off, mummy! Fuck OFF!' haunts me still. The looks we got... I taught her to enunciate more clearly after that. Well, I tried.

Scrimshaw and Arsehole have totally made my day, op!

My DD has speech issues and as she's 5, and tall, it looks really bad when she's calling "twat, twat" at the ducks Also her school reading book had 'kicks' and 'cracks' - tits and twats the whole way through.

All Christmas trees are arseholes, your second twin has the rub of it!

Ooo I needed a giggle 🤣 my sen 7 year old calls all 4x4's wan cars. Sat strapped in his seat shouting wanker at the traffic 🤣

It's worse when they are using a swearword appropriately though (indeed your child is not wrong in calling xmas trees arseholes). A friend's 4yo keeps saying 'Fucking MATE' every time something good happens, because he heard a male relative say it very very many times recently (with enthusiasm, in conversation) at a family gathering. Friend is desperately trying to make him stop. He is very confused as he knows for a fact he's using it correctly

My son started school in September.
I'm normally very good at understanding what he is saying apart from when he kept saying 'Hannah nice ass' I nearly fainted!!

It took me months to work out he was saying 'Hannah my class'

My tree IS an arsehole... just look at its lazy arse...

Sorry Op but that has made me laugh out loud

My child used to shout 'NICE TITTY!' every time he saw a cat.