My toddler keeps calling the Christmas tree an arsehole.

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

My twins have delayed speech and often make up their own words for things. Obviously, we encourage them to talk as much as possible.

We recently put up the Christmas tree. 'Christmas!' I chirruped brightly at them. 'Can you say Christmas?'

'Scrimshaw,' said DT1. Well, okay, sorta.

'Arsehole,' said DT2, firmly, pointing at the tree.

Oh God. We are going to my mum's for the 25th. Every time DT2 sees a Christmas tree, she now exclaims 'Arsehole!' enthusiastically. She has never heard that word - it's just coincidence that she's making that sound - but it is unfortunately very, very clear.

Can I train her out of it in the next week??

I hear you and raise you
"Shitball". Where's the shitball, shitball, shitball?

Foot ball - clearly.

Tuck my shit in.

Feet.... see a theme here??

My son would say Asshole instead of castle till he was 6 (and finished intensive speech therapy).

Was great fun at parties "Mum there's a bounsee asshole!!)

My daughter, when she was first learning to talk, called fish pie 'piss pie' Turned out it was her favourite meal, so she said it quite a lot

whinetime I am presuming it would be unprofessional to ask you to share.....?

Scrimshaw made me lol and choke slightly 😆

DS2 used to say nipple instead of dimple. Memorable bus journey: "Can you see my nipples mummy? When I smile you can see my nipples!"
.

Car seats were called fuck sakes for about a year here...

Currants were cunts according to my toddler. "Grandma, have you got any cunts in your cupboard?" never went down well.

My boy also used to say "I froke you" when he stroked our arm - so cute! We still say that now!

I love this thread ds used to say pisspies when he wanted crisps when he was learning to speak 😂

Wait until they start yelling for cockporn in the lobby of the cinema OP.

We've had cockporn too. Love this tread.

Worst was my then three year old DS in the trolley seat in M&S shouting very loudly "I want Crack" over and over.

Crackers Darling, the name for them is Crackers - from me over and over.

One old lady cried with laughter.

Now he's misheard a Power Rangers Megazord's name and goes around asking for his Durex

My DC used to say 'cuddles' instead of 'puddles' we really liked that one!

These have made me laugh so much

DS is a other one that shouts 'COCK!' whenever he sees a clock 🙈

I love cockporn.

I mean the mispronunciation not the dodgy pay per view websites!

In our house we had a phase where clocks were "cocks" and frogs were "fucks" which is funny until nursery bring it up and tell me "she keeps saying rude words, we're not sure what's she trying to say" mortified

Fear not OP my youngest DD was (and still is) fond of a bowl of porridge for breakfast.

Me: what would you like for breakfast dearest sweet child?
DD: I want POOF. Make poof.

Lasted for a couple of weeks until she could say porridge.

We used to have a soft play centre near us called Little Rascals. DS1 used to call it Little Arsals and I think he might have been right.

Arsehole,' said DT2, firmly, pointing at the tree.

My friend couldn't work out why her son kept saying "Cock on, put daddy cock on" turns out he meant he wanted to wear his dads watch.

This is the best thread title I have ever seen!

I know someone whose toddler called 'crackers' 'fackers" and when he wanted 'another one', would ask for 'muva facker'

Currants were cunts according to my toddler. "Grandma, have you got any cunts in your cupboard?"

Let's just say that there were reasons we started calling purple drinks Ribena instead of blackcurrant in our house.

I’m posing self on train. Brilliant thread 😂😂