Carrying a roast dinner 200 miles by train

[hambledon]

This is a similar situation to the thread about carrying a roast dinner to Lanzarote but not a TAAT.

DM moved to a care home a few months ago. It's 200 miles away. Before anybody asks why she's so far away I did try over a long period to get her to live closer to us but the council wouldn't fund residential care near us as it costs much more. She also insisted she does not want to live in London. She wants to stay in her rural county.

I can't drive 200 miles as I have problems with my back and DH has had a hip operation which he hasn't recovered from fully so he can't drive either. So, we decided to get train tickets. The journey is about 45 mins from home to central London then 3 hours train journey and about 15 mins walk to the care home. We are going to go on Christmas Eve to eat and exchange presents with him.

The problems we have are:

1. Her care home are going to let us use their function room for the 5 of us to eat but can't provide food
2. The journey is too long to safely carry pre cooked meat plus it would also be a very heavy load to carry together with drinks, crockery etc especially as DH isn't very steady on his feet
3. I tried very hard over a long period to find somebody who would deliver food to the care home but absolutely nothing available partly as it is a rural area
4. DM fractured her hip not long ago and has dementia and gets very anxious if she even has to leave her room which ruled out taxi ride to nearest pub.

So far my solution has been to pre order a Christmas meal from a pub near the station which we will carry to the care home. But, the pub are not set up for takeaways. We will have to decant 5, 3 course meals and carry it 15 mins uphill to the care home and put in paper plates (too heavy to carry all the crockery and cutlery on the train).

This whole thing seems a stressful palaver (added to which the trains are striking and the journey is going to be very unreliable) I am tempted to just the four of us sit in the pub and have the meal then take a lovely cake, nibbles and champagne to DM and exchange presents. I just know she will be very disappointed. What should we do?

A load of boxes in a suitcases on wheels? Fill the boxes with the dinner - well, get the pub to do this?
But take plates on the train for the dinner. Pudding etc fine on paper, but not gravy.

I don't think you have a lot of choice. Who are the other two as you mention 5 of you ?
If the others aren't local and can't help out with the situation then I'd buy nice party food from a supermarket and get a taxi from the supermarket to the home and do a buffet style gathering for all of you.
Why do some of you have to have a cooked dinner ?
If the other two are local get them to bring the buffet food or cooked dinner to the home and you can reimburse them.

Could you get 5 x frozen roast dinner ready meals (something like this) and cook them when you get there? Paper plates etc

Taxi? Or take a buffet meal rather than doing a roast.
Can the care home lend you plates?

Think picnic... paper plates finger food & cool bag for the mesty bits.

This sounds a right faff. Aren't the care home doing a Christmas Dinner for the residents? Blimey I've had several Christmas dinners in hospitals and care homes when visiting family. Where my dad is now we are welcomed with open arms.

Can you not come to an arrangement To use the care home plates and cutlery?

Ring the pub and see if they can pack the dinners up somehow. Taxi from there to care home. They must have cutlery, plates etc you can use?

The care home cook Christmas dinner yes and we would be very welcome to eat it there but it will be on Christmas Day. We can't go in Christmas Day as there are no train running.

We are a family of 4 plus DM which makes 5 people so we will be bringing 5 meals. Good point about paper plates and gravy. Perhaps I should ask to borrow crockery from care home.

Nice buffet style snacks would be easy to buy and bring or even buy close to station but DM will feel it's not a 'proper' meal. But, perhaps she just has to accept it for this year?

I’m sure the care home can provide plates, cutlery and glasses. Check with them before even thinking of taking your own. I would do what @BikeRunSki suggested and get a set of frozen meals instead OR make and freeze a nice meal in portions. Bag them tightly and they will act as a freezer block for everything else. Use one pull along trolley bag or suitcase. Then have very simple but flash looking starters and desserts if you need to make an impression - smoked salmon, blinis and a little salad won’t weight much, neither will mince pies or a small Christmas pudding with brandy butter. Lots of the supermarkets have party food packs that shouldn’t be heavy but are easy to heat/plate. Does she really need 3 courses though? Could you just have lovely chocolates for pudding?

Definitely pre-book a taxi to the care home from the station. Honestly, don’t risk slipping and hurting yourselves even more.

Is there anything else from home that would make her think ‘Christmas?’ Like a particular napkin or table decoration or biscuit? Take that if you can.

to be perfectly honest though, this sounds more like your guilt talking then actually catering for her current needs. If she has dementia and is nervous of routine changes then all this is going to be an awful lot for her anyway. I think going to visit with a one course or with some lovely nibbly bits will be enough and mean she can keep her normal food routine at the home. anything more runs the risk of being overwhelming.

Take melamine picnic plates - lighter and more durable. Arrive at station and go to pub. Order food and gin. Ask pub to put everything into takeaway containers - or bring your own and put all meat into a couple, veg into another couple etc. Then taxi. Starters - take tins of soup and buy nice bread from pub. Take Christmas pud.

Are you travelling there and back on Chrimas Eve?

Buy 5 roast turkey dinners from M&S, take in a cool bag and microwave when you get there? It won't be a "proper" Christmas dinner but I don't think any of your options are going to be a proper dinner.

Would she like a the buffet if it included cold meats/ poached salmon with salads as well as snacks?
I don't think the roast sounds very practical as it will be tricky to keep warm and transport, even in a cab.
I would definitely ask the care home about plates and glasses.

Yes. 5 pre made roast dinners. Markies?

Pre cooked frozen food won't work really as I will be standing next to a microwave de frosting for ages and we actually won't have much time there because of the length of the journey and the strike.

Good point about crockery though. I'll ask to borrow from the care home. Also won't bother with starters perhaps just collect main courses from pub and bring nice snacks for starters and chocolates for pudding. With crackers and a festive table cloth it should work out🙏🏽

Are you planning on doing the return journey on the same day? You say you can’t go on Christmas Day to eat with your DM which implies doing the return journey on Christmas Eve. If so you may have bigger issues than how to transport gravy! If it’s so rural you can’t get a take away/ taxi to Tesco on arrival then have you checked return trains?

Yes travelling there and back just for the day on Christmas Eve. I'm cooking a whole Christmas Day dinner at home in London for the rest of the extended family.

Of course I've checked return journey ! I do the journey every other week.

I’d provide the pub with takeaway type tubs, boxes and ask them to pack the meals for you.

We've got lots of takeaway tubs and a super big cool bag

I think so long as you’ve booked the meals and they know what time you’d be arriving I think they’d do this for you.

In that case what about taking a frozen Marks and Sparks “Sunday dinner” and decanting it onto proper plates when you’ve warmed it up. It will defrost on the journey but will still remain cold to be safe. That way you all the bits. You can take crackers etc with you. To see your mum on one day you’re going to have to compromise on the quality of the food to get the time scale in. By that I mean the food ( a frozen Naice Sunday dinner) will not be as good as home cooked roast but the best in the circumstances.
The main thing is your mum gets to see you.

Can you ask the kitchen staff at the care home to prepare a meal for you?
I'm sure if you reimburse them for their time and costs, they'd be happy. Worth asking. Saves all the faffing around you're proposing!

Cross post

Of course I've checked return journey ! I do the journey every other week.

Ok - I was only asking and trying to help. You’re obviously having a stressful time.

It can't be that rural if it's a 15 minute walk from the train station.

I would take buddy food and paper plates tbh. The care home are doing Christmas dinner the day after.