Carrying a roast dinner 200 miles by train

[hambledon]

This is a similar situation to the thread about carrying a roast dinner to Lanzarote but not a TAAT.

DM moved to a care home a few months ago. It's 200 miles away. Before anybody asks why she's so far away I did try over a long period to get her to live closer to us but the council wouldn't fund residential care near us as it costs much more. She also insisted she does not want to live in London. She wants to stay in her rural county.

I can't drive 200 miles as I have problems with my back and DH has had a hip operation which he hasn't recovered from fully so he can't drive either. So, we decided to get train tickets. The journey is about 45 mins from home to central London then 3 hours train journey and about 15 mins walk to the care home. We are going to go on Christmas Eve to eat and exchange presents with him.

The problems we have are:

1. Her care home are going to let us use their function room for the 5 of us to eat but can't provide food
2. The journey is too long to safely carry pre cooked meat plus it would also be a very heavy load to carry together with drinks, crockery etc especially as DH isn't very steady on his feet
3. I tried very hard over a long period to find somebody who would deliver food to the care home but absolutely nothing available partly as it is a rural area
4. DM fractured her hip not long ago and has dementia and gets very anxious if she even has to leave her room which ruled out taxi ride to nearest pub.

So far my solution has been to pre order a Christmas meal from a pub near the station which we will carry to the care home. But, the pub are not set up for takeaways. We will have to decant 5, 3 course meals and carry it 15 mins uphill to the care home and put in paper plates (too heavy to carry all the crockery and cutlery on the train).

This whole thing seems a stressful palaver (added to which the trains are striking and the journey is going to be very unreliable) I am tempted to just the four of us sit in the pub and have the meal then take a lovely cake, nibbles and champagne to DM and exchange presents. I just know she will be very disappointed. What should we do?

I'd take a posh picnic. You will get so much more. Cheese board, grapes, biccies, a ham, nice bread etc. You sound very caring to make such an effort.

Could you not have the hot lunch that is cooked for the residents, served to you in the function room. Your mums would be paid for and you ask what would cover the cost of four extra lunches plus a bit extra cash as a thank you.

That way you could take a Christmas cake ( leave what’s not eaten for the staff), crackers and even decs. Christmas napkins would be a festive touch.

What about cooking the day before and getting a box cooler on wheels to keep it cool? Add some ice packs in layers and even the meat will be fine. Reheat in the microwave once you are there. I'm in the US and people do stuff like that all the time.

This is the kind of thing we would use:
www.amazon.co.uk/Igloo-Unisexs-Island-Coolbox-Majestic/dp/B002SU97BI/ref=sr_1_11?dchild=1&keywords=cooler+on+wheels&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1576352366&sr=8-11

I hear you. I've dropped off a few hot dinners and with a taxi it would be perfectly possible to transport things and keep them hot if you're really determined. The best way if possible is to preheat pottery or pyrex serving dishes and then fill them pretty full with hot food and wrap up thickly in blankets. It comes out of the bag table ready. Could the pub or the home lend you any dishes like that?

I too think you need a conversation with the pub about what you are trying to do. They have local knowledge of people and resources on the ground and then can tell you how they'd be able to package food up and/or exactly what containers you should supply.

If you drop off takeaway containers for the pub to use, give them a big flask and ask for lots of gravy.

Those survival blankets they give marathon runners are lightweight and easy to carry on a train and you could use them to wrap things to keep them hot.

Aren't there supermarkets that deliver all the ingredients cooked seems ready to eat? I've seen one mentioned on here, some place up north that ships all over the uk. I'd try for something like that and a back up option, I'd buy a small microwave, get a wheely thing to make or transportable, take it up, buy ready meals and drinks there.

Forget that, buy three microwave there too.

Thanks so much for all the helpful suggestions!

To clarify: the microwave isn't necessarily used to cook all the resident's meals but it is right in the middle of their kitchenette in the middle of where they eat. I would be getting in the way of the staff during lunchtime.

DM really would not enjoy going out of the home to eat. She is still recovering from a hip fracture and it is uncomfortable for her to move around get in and out of cars etc. Also she has dementia and depression and does not cope well in different environments. It would be hard work for everyone to leave the home. Plus, their function room at the home is really quite nice and we can make it festive with decorations, crackers and Christmas tablecloth.

As I mentioned before I already have a good supply of takeaway boxes and a large insulating bag so I can probably get the food from the pub to the home in decent shape. All of the above I had already planned (see my original posts) it just all seems a bit of a faff and as several of you have pointed out she will be having a cooked Christmas dinner on Christmas Day (as will we) so we might as well have 'party buffet' food.

Take your mum to the pub....

I'd buy a small microwave, get a wheely thing to make or transportable, take it up, buy ready meals and drinks there. This definitely would not work. We are travelling 200 miles on two very busy trains on Christmas Eve during a strike also carrying Christmas presents. Supply of ready meals very limited there. It's a rural area and we have no car.

As I have said several times now my mum cannot go to a pub.

1. It is painful and difficult for her to walk
2. She has dementia and depression and gets stressed and confused outside
3. We have no car

I think you need to accept that what you want to do is impossible. And trying to pull it off is just stress and misery all around.

I think the party food idea is fine.

And, with respect, considering she has dementia, is having a full Christmas dinner with you all really that important to her? Would she really be annoyed or upset if the food was different?

Is there any food that she'd like but wouldn't be served up at the home? That you could make a nice spread out of?

It is precisely because she has dementia that she will be upset that we are not having a 'proper' Christmas meal together. However, I think I just have to be sensible about it and cheerfully provide what is possible in the circumstances.

s there any food that she'd like but wouldn't be served up at the home? That you could make a nice spread out of? Yes I realise now that this will be the key to making it festive even though it's not what she expects.

Where in the country are you? Could you perhaps do a Facebook plea for help? I know our local community are fab at things like this.

Yes, I think that’s the best option.

Where in the country are you? Could you perhaps do a Facebook plea for help? I know our local community are fab at things like this. Her village has a great FB group and this is the first thing I thought of when planning in October. Unfortunately the place she has moved (20 miles from her village) to has no FB page. I have contacted so many different community groups and catering companies and none of them could help. They didn't seem to be able to imagine how somebody could be coming so far for one day without a car and suggested popping over to restaurants 15 miles away etc. People in rural areas can't understand not having a car and people in urban areas can't imagine how hard it is to access things.

I think a cold buffet is your best bet. It's not Christmas Day after all - it's Christmas Eve. I'd go with whatever treat/party type food your mum likes - smoked salmon, cold meats, sausage rolls, etc. You could put on a lovely spread and it's a better option than spending twenty minutes in front of a microwave heating ready meals. It sounds like she will get her turkey dinner the next day anyway. Would she even want it two days running?

I love you for trying but in all honesty if she has dementia I’d just do sherry and mince pies and play charades.

Would it be possible to do one meal in the microwave for your DM that is Christmassy and then do cold food that looks as similar as possible for the rest of you? That would mean you don't have to microwave for ages and she gets a hot Christmas meal.

It's a lovely idea OP, and I can completely understand why you want to do this. It does sound tricky though. I think your only option is a chat with the pub - if they could provide a whole roast chicken that might work, it would stay hotter than pre sliced meat and be suitably festive on the table. It may even be that you just have that as the hot element, with lovely bread and salads and bits.

Alternatively, I'd go for a really impressive pork pie or similar (our local market has triple layer pies etc) or a ham, either of which can be taken in cool bags and served room temp.

You know your mum best, and are obviously trying to treat her at Christmas. She will love seeing you and would prefer an unstressed daughter to a stressed one, so please cut your self some slack if it just isn't possible to sort it out exactly as you wish.

Hi OP, I notice you mention trains being on strike so assume you are travelling on South western railway? If it's the 45 journey between home and central London that is on SWR are you aware that last trains from Waterloo on Christmas eve are between 7pm and 7.30pm depending on the route? (the strike timetable for the 24th was published today). Will you be able to jet back to Central London and then to Waterloo in time to catch what is likely to be a very busy train? I imagine you have seen coverage on regional news programmes of queues at stations and people unable to get on some trains as they are too overcrowded. I was due to be travelling to London on SWR on Christmas eve, to catch a connection elsewhere, but decided it was too risky to rely on being able to get to London in time for my connection so am travelling by coach instead.

Any chance you could hire a car from the nearest big town?

Now that trains have plugs by the seats maybe you could take a slow cooker and cook up a nice casserole on the journey.

Could you take a xmas hamper?Thinks which don't require refrigeration or cooking but are quite posh?