Carrying a roast dinner 200 miles by train

[hambledon]

This is a similar situation to the thread about carrying a roast dinner to Lanzarote but not a TAAT.

DM moved to a care home a few months ago. It's 200 miles away. Before anybody asks why she's so far away I did try over a long period to get her to live closer to us but the council wouldn't fund residential care near us as it costs much more. She also insisted she does not want to live in London. She wants to stay in her rural county.

I can't drive 200 miles as I have problems with my back and DH has had a hip operation which he hasn't recovered from fully so he can't drive either. So, we decided to get train tickets. The journey is about 45 mins from home to central London then 3 hours train journey and about 15 mins walk to the care home. We are going to go on Christmas Eve to eat and exchange presents with him.

The problems we have are:

1. Her care home are going to let us use their function room for the 5 of us to eat but can't provide food
2. The journey is too long to safely carry pre cooked meat plus it would also be a very heavy load to carry together with drinks, crockery etc especially as DH isn't very steady on his feet
3. I tried very hard over a long period to find somebody who would deliver food to the care home but absolutely nothing available partly as it is a rural area
4. DM fractured her hip not long ago and has dementia and gets very anxious if she even has to leave her room which ruled out taxi ride to nearest pub.

So far my solution has been to pre order a Christmas meal from a pub near the station which we will carry to the care home. But, the pub are not set up for takeaways. We will have to decant 5, 3 course meals and carry it 15 mins uphill to the care home and put in paper plates (too heavy to carry all the crockery and cutlery on the train).

This whole thing seems a stressful palaver (added to which the trains are striking and the journey is going to be very unreliable) I am tempted to just the four of us sit in the pub and have the meal then take a lovely cake, nibbles and champagne to DM and exchange presents. I just know she will be very disappointed. What should we do?

You have the best of intentions and are obviously trying so hard, but I’m just not sure you can pull this off. I would forget the meal part and focus on spending time together. That’s the important bit. Festive nibbles and enjoying each other’s company. Sorry I can’t offer any other suggestions.

Christmas sandwiches? You can get ones that have turkey, stuffing, sausage, bacon and cranberry sauce in. They are lovely. Then add crisps and the bits and pieces and do a cold Christmas lunch. I know it isn't what you hoped for but it would be some much easier. Marks do loads of festive cold nibbles.

Not sure if I would do it

They heat the residents meals in a microwave for every lunch?! Now THAT is weird...

Why make it a Christmas meal? I'd go for whatever takeaway you can get, or else whatever the care home is providing for the residents anyway. The point is your company rather than what you are eating.

I'm sure the care home will lend you cutlery and crockery, if not, melamine plates and plastic glasses are light and easy to carry.

If you want to take fresh rather than frozen food to cook eg starters, chilled wine or M&S individual roast dinners that can be microwaved, an insulated cooler bag packed with a bag of ice on the bottom and top (make sure the bag is jam packed though) will keep the food below 5C for the journey. I know because I had to do a similar train journey with an entire turkey and rib of beef in an emergency one Christmas. The ice was still solid and the fridge thermometer I put in the bag was 2C after a 4 hour journey.

If you go for the pub option, you could take some cold nibbles as a starter and a microwaveable Christmas pudding/mince pies for dessert. My local pub does takeaway Sunday roasts on deliveroo and they travel fine. They use the cardboard folding containers for potatoes and Yorkshire pudding to stop them going soggy from the steam/condensation. Vegetables (including swede puree) go in a normal container (tupperware would be fine), meat wrapped in foil in the same container, gravy in a plastic pot. They offer half chickens or very thickly sliced beef/lamb/pork so it stays hot and doesn't dry out. If the pub only does thinly sliced meats, I would ask them to put it in gravy in the container (with extra gravy in a pot). If you can take the empty containers in an insulated bag with any gaps stuffed with a small towel or tea towels and get the pub kitchen to serve into your containers, the food will stay piping hot for a 15 minute walk or 5 minute cab ride.

I would book the food and a cab for thirty minutes after you get there and have a nice relaxing drink in the pub while the food is freshly prepared.

Could you ask the pub to put each meal in a tiffin box? You could possibly fit two meals per box.

www.amazon.co.uk/Indian-Tiffin-4t7b4-4-Tier-Box/dp/B00A7G7J6U/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=tiffin+box&sprefix=tiffin+&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1576337142&sr=8-3

Something like this then you can keep all the different parts separate (potatoes in one layer, veg in one layer, meat in another, maybe a thermos for gravy). You each carry one box and someone carries an extra one for your DM.

When you're at the care home you can plate it out and give each plate a quick heat in the microwave if needed, for five it would take ten minutes tops.

I'd take a platter of nice sandwiches, you can pre order from supermarkets and m+s, posh crisps, mince pies, Christmas cake or Yule log. Take things like a nice tablecloth, napkins, crackers to make it seem more special. Much less hassle than worrying about five, three course, hot meals and she may well appreciate something lighter if she's having a Christmas lunch the next day.

There is one microwave. It's in the dining room. We are arriving at lunchtime. I would be standing in front of it for at least 20 mins heating food for 5 people. The other residents wouldn't get their meals.

But their meals come from the kitchen. They don't heat them in the micro in the dining room!

Could you buy something like this and get the pub to put the food in them?

I'd be staying in an Airbnb close by care home with kitchen facilities the day before and cooking the meal and transporting it to care home myself.

Or put on a cold spread.

Smaller quantity
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Compartment-Meal-Prep-Containers-Microwavable/dp/B01J93IP3C/ref=ascdff_B01J93IP3C/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309862953042&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=147423331794537567&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045081&hvtargid=pla-524759569613&psc=1

Order in from the pub. Borrow crockery from the care home.

I am tempted to just the four of us sit in the pub and have the meal then take a lovely cake, nibbles and champagne to DM and exchange presents. I just know she will be very disappointed.

I'd do this. Surely she will have Christmas dinner provided by the care home on Christmas Day? Have you already mentioned to her that you would bring a hot meal? I don't think it's something any reasonable person would expect if it hadn't already been suggested to them.

Reserve it in marks and Spencer's or whatever near the care hike and collect by taxi ?

Just a suggestion
Online shop from M&S or other supermarket for cold buffet of nice sandwiches, nibbles, cake & get it delivered to the care home ?
Tell the care home about the delivery
Do deliveries still take place on Xmas Eve ?

Or pre order food at the pub
Let them know that you will bring your own boxes to transport
Definitely taxi to the care home

Tbh I think I would do away with the idea that it has to be a cooked turkey meal. I would think about what cold food is really lovely and take that instead. For instance I would like: fresh bread, salted butter, pate, ham/turkey, salad leaves, tomatoes, olives, stuffed vibe leaves and I would get Gu puddings.

If you want pub food is there a taxi you can get from there to care home?

Who else is going (you mentioned 5 of you)? What are their cooking/driving/carrying skills like?

I'm going to add that you are all already making a HUGE effort to all travel there & back for what seems a small amount of time with your loved one.

The easy solution would have been to all have lunch at the pub
But you have explained why this cannot occur

Please be kind to yourselves

Finger food, crackers, festive table cloth. Spend more time with your mum and less time waiting to decant and then eating luke warm pub food.

Prepare a load of Christmas nibbles in advance put in tupperware in a cool bag and bring it with you in a wheel suitcase. Book a taxi to/from care home and station. Maybe buy some festive platters to put it on and some festive napkins.

Have you fully explained the issue to the pub? I mean rather than just asking about takeaways say what and why you want to do and they might be able to help on just one occasion and cos it’s Christmas and maybe goodwill publicity for them..
Otherwise I think I would do a cold lunch - slices of nice meat and maybe one dish you could reheat for a couple of minutes in a microwave do as not to take up too much time from the other residents.

Get a taxi from pub to care home.
Ask pub to put the food in serving dishes on trays.
Ask pub to lend plates and cutlery: say you will pay a deposit
You don’t need 3 courses. Take mini cup cakes and napkins.

One of you head to care home and set up the table, make it nice, blow up balloons, crackers.

The other stop off st pub, collect food in taxi, take to care home so you are ready to sit down and eat.

I have not worked in a nursing or residential home in the last 25 years that would not provide a meal for visitors, even if they charged!

I have not worked in a nursing or residential home in the last 25 years that would not provide a meal for visitors, even if they charged!

But what if every resident had 4 family manners round on Christmas Eve expecting a meal? Surely that's just ridiculous.

Why do you think residents will need the microwave? Their meals will come from the kitchen?!

am tempted to just the four of us sit in the pub and have the meal then take a lovely cake, nibbles and champagne to DM and exchange presents. I just know she will be very disappointed.

This, but the effort you've gone to to make this happen for your mum is lovely it's just not feasible with you and DH unable to drive right now. The food will be cold when you get it to her from the care home, and it'll be miserable for everyone.

I'd take nibbles, she'll get Christmas dinner the next day.