Divorce for low earner/high earner - suggested settlement

[Free83]

STBX and I are awaiting our Decree Nisi and have agreed on pretty much everything regarding our split. Our daughters (aged 5&6) will stay with me and he will have them every other weekend and one night during the week on alternate weeks.

We have £400k equity in our house, so £300k will go to me and £100k to him. The remaining assets (pensions, shares, cash) have been divided so that we each end up with pretty much 50% of the total pot each:

Me:
£300k equity
£65k personal pension
£6k car
£5k shares
£9k cash
=£385k total

Him:
£100k equity
£275k personal pension
£10k shares
£9k car
£20k cash

We both work full time, but I work in my daughters’ school so do the full-time childcare. I earn £11k pa and he earns £102k, plus bonus of approx. £28k (av.)pa. He wants a clean break on the basis of the above split.

I haven’t spoken to my solicitor since our initial advice meeting, but STBX says his solicitor is firm in her belief that the proposal is fair and just.

For anyone who has been in a similar position, does this all look about right??

I think it looks about right...I'm a bit raised eyebrow about him getting so much more in cash than you. Surely you should split the available cash in half? Or am I being grabby on your behalf?

I have zero experience of this and could be completely wrong but I think it looks a bit low (for you) based on future earning potential.

Is that taken in to account?

Has child maintenance been agreed?

Will you be able to buy a house outright with £300k? He’ll be able to get a mortgage with his earnings, but you’re unlikely to.

his solicitor will back his contention that 50/50 is fair. She works for him and is out to get the best deal for him

Yep. Absolutely ESSENTIAL to get your own advice.

The pension split worries me. You're earning £11k pa and presumably will stay low earning whilst your children are young and you do the majority care. Then what? Is your earning potential going to leap up and you'll make up the lost years of pension contributions?

I also don't understand the 50:50 split. Even though you wont be married, you're still enabling his lifestyle by providing the majority childcare for his children. Where's your recompense for your reduced earnings in that time?

But this isn’t even 50/50 OP currently he is getting 30k more than you do

I would say that the pension and equity split is ok but the rest is not a 50/50 split at all it’s 70/30 in his favour!

I would be shocked if that were allowed to go through and I think he is trying it on if he thinks it’s a 50/50

Go back and at least say shares are 7.5k each and cash is 15k each get it to the 50/50. And I assume child maintenance as well is being set?

There is not enough info. How long have you been married and how old are you? How old is your child?

As others said, you need to speak to a solicitor.

Bottom line is courts do favour clean break and it is nit expected that an ex spouse should financially maintain you for ever more. The exceptions to this are a long marriage or if you're too old to be expected to retrain and support yourself.

You need to go back to your solicitor.

I don't think it's fair. As main childcare person with limited earning potential you should be getting 60/40 as starting point. Not 50/50.

He may not be intentionally spivving you but I think a solicitor is imperative for you. Please get legal advice. You get one shot at this.

That's not 50% each ? His earning potential is so much more than yours, you need to speak to your solicitor

Doesnt look fair to me.

And you should be expecting child maintenance from him every month on top of this, obv hard to say how much, but there's an online calculator you can use as baseline but that's the starting point and a good solicitor will get you much more if they can.

I cant believe he is trying to tell you this is fair and 50/50 either when it so clearly isnt

I think you need to get proper advice and give back a far different starting point from his and meet somewhere in the middle.

For example less equity for him and an asset split to you say 60/40 in your favour so 50k equity and then far more of the shares etc.

Show him that you understand what he is trying to do

Um, no. I don't think this is fair at all.

Have you discussed child maintenance?

OP, I'm not sure if your split has been amicable or not, but if it has you need to be prepared for things to get a little trickly. And that's OK. You need to be coming out of this knowing that you and your DCs are going to be OK and I don't beleive the above proposal is fair on you.

Oh and yes, I agree with PP. He's trying to convince you that this is absolutely fine and fair. He knows it's not.

Get your solicitor on this asap. His is working with him to shaft you, you need to make sure yours is working for you to ensure that doesn't happen.

I am 36, he’s 46 and we’ve been married just under 10 yrs. Children are 5 and 6. He’ll pay CM of £1k per month and has agreed to give 20% of his bonus to them each year too. After paying CM, he’ll have just over £4K left in his pay each month for his own bills and lifestyle.

Why haven’t you got your own solicitor actively involved in this process?

This is not a fair split, OP, get your own solicitor now.

he’ll have just over £4K left in his pay each month for his own bills and lifestyle

Why are you focusing on what he'll have?? The question is what you'll have!

Don’t take legal advise from your ex!

As PPs have said, the pension split looks very uneven at first glance especially given each of your future earning potential. You really need to take your own advice on this. It is a very complex area and you may need an expert actuarial report, which a solicitor can obtain for you. Your STBX’s solicitor acts in his interests only.

I would ask for spousal maintenance as well. 11,000 isn’t going to go far and you’ll be paying for everything for the three of you.

The financial bit is separate from the divorce.
In england and wales you have to go to mediation 1st .
Then if both agree the judge rubber stamps it.
Dont agree to this .
You can force him to give his bonus to you year after year.

How much do you need for a new place big enough for you and the kids? You won't get a mortgage so you'll need cash or more equity to enable this.

It's not 50/50 on the shares, cash and car front. If you're not touching his pension (which he'll be able to increase much more easily than you) then you need more

His lawyers are paid to act in his interest. For them, success is getting him more than 50%

The child maintenance he’s offering you is the CMS minimum for his income. You need a better deal on the asset split, you also need your own legal advice. If it was me I’d want to swap the share and cash split as a minimum

It looks like you aren't getting enough.

I'd be most concerned about your pension to be honest.

Have you also looked into Universal Credit? You should be entitled to some as you are on a low income, and child benefit if you aren't already claiming.

You definitely need your own legal advice.