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Original poster

Not going to Xmas play

148 replies

PumpkinP · 08/12/2019 19:24

Is it awful not to attend your child’s Xmas play? If they don’t actually have a part in it and will just be singing. I know working parents have no choice but as I’m a sahm would it be totally awful? I went to my DCs a couple of years ago and again neither had a part in the play and was only singing and tbh I couldn’t even see them as was sitting on totally the opposite side so I was basically just watching other people’s children preform.

OP posts:
thewinkingprawn · 08/12/2019 20:20

Didn’t realise a school nativity was important because I’m not religious - oh do give over. If you don’t want to go then don’t go, it is poor and he does have a part in it, who cares that you couldn’t see last time - get there earlier, they know you are there and it means a lot to a young child. But if you don’t want to then don’t, your decision.

Sirzy · 08/12/2019 20:22

I would go.

Ds doesn’t do the school play because he can’t cope but I am still going to three of the plays at his school because my nephews have asked to me watch them even though the older two only have very small parts/no lines

Morgan12 · 08/12/2019 20:22

Why are you even asking? You have obviously decided you aren't going.

No-one is going to validate your choice. Because it's wrong.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations Families
EmrysAtticus · 08/12/2019 20:23

I can't imagine choosing not to go. DS has his first one tomorrow and Tuesday. Fortunately I can go tomorrow and DH on Tuesday, DS would have been heartbroken if we hadn't been able to attend.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/12/2019 20:24

Some rude people on here. Easier to say “get there earlier” I got there on time but lots of people had got there early to get the best seats. I didn’t know where they were going to be sitting. Calm down it’s only a nativity it’s like people just want to be rude for the sake of it. I go to everything else and I’ve never missed a single thing. I was asking if it was ok to miss one thing because I have an important meeting on that day which quite frankly I’ve been losing sleep over. I doubt he is going to remember something from 5, I certainly don’t remember if my mum attended my nativity, I don’t even remember my nativity!

OP posts:
VenusTiger · 08/12/2019 20:25

You’re missing the point here OP - your child “probably” won’t know you’re there etc. how do you know that? What if he starts looking for you before as you’re entering the hall, or during, or after? Schools tend to get a photo opportunity in after the play these days for small groups and you would definitely be missed, by your son.
And when he asks “did you see it mommy, was it good?” what are you going to say, “no, I stayed at home because I can’t see you anyway, and you were only singing.”
Come on, where’s his mom’s support?

Itsashame · 08/12/2019 20:27

I don’t think anyone’s been rude op. Everyone is saying you should go, I don’t think a single person has said it’s ok to not go. But you won’t listen and keep arguing reasons why you don’t want to go. There was really no point in you asking was there?

Tutlefru · 08/12/2019 20:27

You’re free. So just go.

Even if it is a small part it’s still lovely being able to see their face light up when they see you.

Unless your my DS who gets really weird when he sees me in his school and doesn’t really even acknowledge me. Grin

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/12/2019 20:29

I do think people are being ott though, he is not going to be scarred for life because I didn’t attend. I never spoke about it with my other 2 last time apart from me mentioning that I didn’t actually see them, then them telling me where they were sitting. Which happened to be on the other side of the hall. That’s as far as the conversation on it went.

OP posts:
Pieceofpurplesky · 08/12/2019 20:29

I understand that your meeting will be stressful however you have (at least) two children at the school. Often siblings grow to resent a fellow sibling with an SEND as they see that all the attention is focussed on them (I do have experience in this as a pastoral lead at a school - I am not just making it up).
Your DS may not have a major part but if he realises you are not there he may feel resentful. It's all very well saying you don't remember as an adult - I bet you would if your mum hadn't been there. It's now that counts and you really should be there for your ds - especially as your day is taken up with his sibling.

user838383 · 08/12/2019 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItsGoingTibiaK · 08/12/2019 20:30

Why bother spending time creating this thread and then disagreeing with everyone?

Just don't go. Won't affect anybody on here in the slightest. Problem solved.

porridging · 08/12/2019 20:30

That’s not a hectic day.

Yes you should go. think it’s quite sad you’re thinking about not going tbh.

Todaythiscouldbe · 08/12/2019 20:31

Nobody has been rude, we're just not saying what you want to hear. If your DS had 'a part' you would, presumably, make the effort to go. You're telling him it's not important enough if he's 'only' singing. How awful.

user1471449295 · 08/12/2019 20:31

Your DC will be looking for you. I remember fanatically looking for my mum, getting anxious and feeling really alone. She was running late. Don’t make your DC feel like that, especially as you are able to be there

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/12/2019 20:32

That’s true Pieceofpurplesky, you’ve got a point on that about feeling resentful.

OP posts:
JurassicShay · 08/12/2019 20:32

You should be there.
I'm going to DS2 on both days it's on as he will look for me & be devastated if I wasn't.

DS1 is in a school 40miles away and I don't drive.
I am absolutely gutted that I won't be there to see it. When he was in a school closer to home I went every time knowing that he either wouldn't partake or would last 5 minutes before I was being called out the audience to take him off.

I'm hoping this is the year he will enjoy it!

2shepherds · 08/12/2019 20:34

One of my best memories is of DS1 in his first ever nativity in nursery. He was only 3 and has SEN, so he was not able to do what the other children did. However, he was wearing a little costume, and he was there being a part of it. I was so proud.

I find that just seeing my children in the hall makes me feel really happy. Go along, you might enjoy it.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/12/2019 20:35

Ok maybe not hectic if people don’t like that word then, but stressful. I find it quite weird people are saying a meeting involving themselves and 4 professionals to try to get your child kicked out of the school isn’t stressful! Which like I said I will be attending alone because I have no one.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 08/12/2019 20:36

Before the play ask “what side of the hall are you sat on?” (Or are you near the piano or on the other side? Or some other way of figuring and then aim to sit that side.

Itsashame · 08/12/2019 20:37

Yes the mtg might be stressful but that’s no reason to not go. You can take it easier the next day.
Some women will be working full time in v stressful jobs and
Taking time off to see the play and then rushing back to their stressful job afterwards. Think about that

Tutlefru · 08/12/2019 20:37

Whilst I agree it does sound a stressful situation, wouldn’t seeing your DS in his nativity lift your mood a bit after that?

CupASoup · 08/12/2019 20:38

Why post here if you have already made your mind up?

Then complain when people have a different view to you?

Teachermaths · 08/12/2019 20:39

OP I think you need to see someone like your GP if that is a hectic day and more than you can mentally cope with.

SEND reviews are difficult but working parents have to deal with them and work full time as well.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 08/12/2019 20:41

OP: Is it okay to do this?
Literally everyone: No
OP: Yes it is

What’s the point in posting? You’ve obviously already made your mind up.