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Original poster

Not going to Xmas play

148 replies

PumpkinP · 08/12/2019 19:24

Is it awful not to attend your child’s Xmas play? If they don’t actually have a part in it and will just be singing. I know working parents have no choice but as I’m a sahm would it be totally awful? I went to my DCs a couple of years ago and again neither had a part in the play and was only singing and tbh I couldn’t even see them as was sitting on totally the opposite side so I was basically just watching other people’s children preform.

OP posts:
EskewedBeef · 08/12/2019 19:52

Do you think the other parents are all going for the Bible bits? Hmm
You really must go because you have absolutely no reason not to. Not fancying it is a bit of a crap reason.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/12/2019 19:55

Like I said he doesn’t have a part in the play, if he did I would obviously attend. He is singing and i couldn’t even see my other children the last play because the seats were all taken and I had to sit on the other side of the hall. I’m a single mum with no family so no, no one else can attend. I’ve gone to all other school related things, if my daughters annual review wasn’t on the same day then it wouldn’t be such an issue.

OP posts:
Peony99 · 08/12/2019 19:56

I actually think it's worse that you're not going as he's 'just' singing - you're teaching him that he's only important to you if he's in the spotlight.

Of course you should go.

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Todaythiscouldbe · 08/12/2019 19:57

But he has got a part, he's singing! Honestly I'm shocked you're considering not going because you have to do one other thing that day.

Cornishmum00 · 08/12/2019 19:57

I always go and ask my child which side i should sit to see them best, its a big deal to them

Bickles · 08/12/2019 19:58

At our school one on Friday one little girl (they are 7-8) didn’t have anyone there to watch and she looked really sad. She was crying at the beginning and the end.
I will try and make sure DS always has someone cheering him on at every performance/ sports day type thing. It might not always be me if I have work but it will be me or DH or a grandparent.
Not everyone can do this but be there if you can.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 08/12/2019 19:58

My daughter had a role in one nativity in all her primary years and DS never had any roles (he wouldn’t have wanted one) but either I or DH still went to every nativity, Easter play and end of term concert for both of them because we could and it mattered to them to see one of us.

GaraMedouar · 08/12/2019 19:58

Definitely go. I work full time, single mum, and I always go to everything if I can. Last week my DD had a carol concert. Around 100 children. Parents invited to come along. There were just 10 parents there. Very sad the lack of support. My children have always looked out into the audience for me and to see their little faces light up when they spot me and wave at me is priceless.

EskewedBeef · 08/12/2019 19:59

He does have a part in the play. He's been learning songs for weeks so he can belt them out for his mum to hear him above everyone else.

Maybe83 · 08/12/2019 19:59

I work full time and am lucky enough to be able to take a late lunch and go now.

When that wasnt possible I would save a day annual leave bring her to school go to the play and collect her.

It's the effort the class as a whole has put into it and its awful seeing children look out looking for their parents who arent there.

There are lots of very good reasons why a parent genuinely cant make it.

I dont think yours is one. So yes it is awful imo.

VenusTiger · 08/12/2019 20:03

What if they’re looking out for you arriving? Sad they’re part of it and that means something to them, and so it should to you too.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 08/12/2019 20:03

I work full time and wouldn't miss my ds in anything at school. I'm taking time off work to see his nativity play. I'm honestly a bit bewildered by your attitude that it's not important to go because your dc is "only" singing.

Rudolphsjinglebells · 08/12/2019 20:04

I can't go to my ds play this year because im back to work from maternity leave the day before and no holidays to take.
Each class jointly sings 2 songs.
I told him I won't be able to go but his grandparents will go and will bring his brother. He was devastated that I can't go.
If you get there earlier you will get a better seat.

Itsashame · 08/12/2019 20:04

Pretty unanimous op! You really need to go to this play. You have nothing on at that time so no reason not to go

VenusTiger · 08/12/2019 20:05

Why do people ask for advice and then make up their own minds anyway!
Go, or he’ll remember it. For ever.

Bargebill19 · 08/12/2019 20:06

Go. It IS a big deal to a child.
(Mutters about how 40+ years ago mine couldn’t be arsed..)

Cakeandmorecake · 08/12/2019 20:07

My children are now at high school or left school and I always went to every play / assembly. I work full time and even left one child in hospital after surgery with my husband for a few hours to be at a play that my other child really appreciated. I cannot imagine missing something to be at home. My life has been really hectic but I have juggled so much to be there for every child I cannot imagine staying at home even if it means being out all day. Totally different if you cannot get the time off work.

Alicenwonderland · 08/12/2019 20:10

If it's a SEND emergency review then I can understand how that would be stressful and constitute a hectic day, I find them draining. However as everyone has said you need to go really. Your son will look out for you whether he has a part or not. As my eldest is 18 and my youngest is 5 I've spent many years sitting through plays where you can't see, can't hear, don't have a clue what's going on and my eldest two never had speaking roles (or any role!) It's one of those parenting things that you have to just smile and wave even if you find it tedious!

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/12/2019 20:11

My point about the singing was I didn’t even see my children last time I went. The singing lasted for 5 mins max and I was on the other side of the hall. I did not see them. They probably didn’t see me either. Whereas the children who had the main parts were obviously on stage through out and I felt like I had just came to watch other people’s children. It’s not that i can’t be bothered it’s that my older child is on the verge of being kicked out of school and again it will only be me attending that. I attend everything, it was one thing I was considering missing.

OP posts:
Nixen · 08/12/2019 20:11

Yep it would be bad not to go. It’s literally your ‘job’

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/12/2019 20:12

Yes it is my older child has asd and the school are trying to get her out. It feels too much for me in one day, might not be too much for some but I don’t know how much energy I have right now.

OP posts:
littleduckeggblue · 08/12/2019 20:13

Not exactly a busy day OP

EskewedBeef · 08/12/2019 20:14

The Nativity will be a welcome break from the rest of the day's stress. It's just sitting there watching children having fun.

user838383 · 08/12/2019 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Itsashame · 08/12/2019 20:19

All you need to do is sit there op, it’s not hard work. I appreciate there won’t be much free time that day but come on. You’re a sahm. If you were at work you wouldn’t have any free time either. It’s just one day.