Fuck. I don't live in London (am In West mids) but this makes my heart sink. Just feel so deflated and sad, and obviously so sorry for the ones killed and injured and their families.
This stuff sends a chill down my spine as does everyone I think. I'm from the Welsh valleys and there's always been some sense of 'were safe here.' or rather, I'd never really thought about terrorism or felt unsafe. The attacks in 2018 really affected bme and it sounds quite silly as I was no where near as affected as people directly involved. But for me, it was the first time in my 23 years I had ever felt that my life was at risk. That I wasn't safe.
My parents and others seem nonplussed - they lived through the IRA attacks and so I suppose they somehow got used to it. And like I said, living in rural Wales is a comfort to many. Im young enough not to remember 9/11 and so the recent attacks were the 'first' ones I ever remembered with any knowledge or understanding. And it scared me, and I feel selfish saying that. My heart just sank when I saw this evening and I feel so sad and I know that is selfish because I've not even been affected.
I was thinking of going to London shopping this December as there's a fast train. And I've not really been. And I know people say that you shouldn't let this run your life and the odds are in my favour etc but now I have this thought.
And again, I feel terrible for being selfish. Because these feelings of not being safe and feeling sad are nothing compared to what others are feeling. On the face od it, the effects on me are nothing and I do feel selfish for feeling this way.
Ordinarily, train delays are a nuisance. On a day like today, when 2 people have lost their lives and 2 families lives have changed forever, I can not fathom how anyone could be feeling even an ounce of annoyance or frustration at train delays. If you've got childcare to rearrange or work to miss or dinner to miss then quite frankly count yourself lucky. There are 2 people out there who will never feel those frustrations again, who left their homes this morning probably having plans for the weekend, whose lives have been snatched away.