How do you feel your life is turning out ?

[Lardlizard]

Better or worse than you expected

Better and worse.

I thought I'd be a cat lady but I'm married, so that's good!

However I feel I got led up the garden path on careers. I was super academic at school and liked every subject, but Maths was my best. Do a maths degree, they said! You'll get a fascinating STEM job, they said! Women in STEM, bla bla bla. The degree was great....all the jobs have been total and utter shite. I make companies more money by staring at data and code all day, whoopee. It pays well and the hours are 9-5, but it's totally meaningless lol. I fantasise about become a paramedic, teacher, nurse, policewoman, fashion designer, seamstress, barrister, hairdresser, MUA. Literally anything else where I actually get to help people! Thing is when you get used to 9-5 and a comfortable salary, and you're saving for a house, it's all a bit risky to spend half of your money and quit your career to re-train in something else that you don't know much about.....

Also, I'm 26 but feel 86. I'm tired, I don't like drinking, feel past it for clubbing, friendships are dwindling. I work in an officr, cook/wash up, watch TV and sleep. I just thought there would be more than this.....

Great thread.

Hmm. It's been up and down. Have 4 lovely kids, and have achieved this year 2 things I wanted to do before turning 40 next week - running a marathon and start my own business.
When I was younger I went travelling etc had a great life.
Not sure about things at the mo or what next year will bring..Something has to change and I'm a bit apprehensive about that

massively better. very different than i imagined in some key respects. but genuinely love where circumstances have lead so far and see good things ahead.

Life is shit.

My boy passed away almost two years ago aged 10 from a brain tumour after a year of high dose chemo and high dose radiotherapy and going into remission.

My mum is currently on palliative care for lung cancer.

Hubby has epilepsy and has recently had his meds increased.

His job isn't very stable. He should have got paid yesterday and we're still waiting for his money to go in. He needs to find a new job asap.

My daughter became anorexic after the death of her brother. Thankfully she is now doing well again.

So life is worse than I ever imagined it would be.

Better so far. Come from and unstable family. Shipper around all my childhood and had no stability . Dickhead of a dad. Went out with dickhead after dickhead. Assumed they were all like that The suddenly met a truly awesome guy who is I adore and isn’t a dock head! Happily married with three kids and v comfortably off thanks to his business starting to really take off. Live in a nice village and enjoy village life and the fact my kids have the childhood I didn’t. I have a good professional job and ok salary but don’t love it any more. But it fits round my family so I plod along as don’t want to be financially dependant. I do feel a bit trapped by it and worry I will still be stuck doing it in twenty years time.

Better. Healthy happy kids, great husband, we have had our fair share of ups & downs but we are solid. Lovely home. Absolutely broke though & up to our neck in debt. But can't have it all. I hope that will turnaround some day when my kids are older & I can get back to work.

A bit shit, to be honest. Poor, rubbish job I've no passion for and I'm sick to death of doing the same thing day in day out.

I'm chasing my tail trying to clean up after everyone else, whilst juggling the school routine, clingy toddler who is in to EVERYTHING, lose half my body weight, maintain a social life (failing at that as I have no friends these days) and I'm probably depressed but I STILL haven't phoned the Talking Therapy number my GP gave me because I'm too much of a bloody wimp.

And breathe!

Better. Did great at school was the first in thef amity to go to uni. I'm happily married with two teenagers. We're all fit and healthy, DC are smart and flying academically and no real trouble. DH and I have decent jobs and are very comfortable financially. We have substantial savings and investments, a lovely house, several holidays a year and are looking forward to early retirement.
The only sadness is the premature loss of both my parents in my 40's and no real contact with my only sibling or any other family member on my side. I don't lose sleep over that. The negatives are not really anything I have caused or can change. I wouldn't change a single one of my life decisions so far, but have learnt to take nothing for granted.

@WalkiesPlease so sorry for the loss of your DM. You wrote a very beautiful and moving description of her. You are one lucky person to have experienced that.

Some of its good, some not so good.

I love my job and like my colleagues. It isnt what I would have expected to be doing but I am doing it and I love it. The pacy is shocking though.

I had very little ambition as a child, and my parents had very little ambition for me. All I wanted was to own my own home, so I have managed to achieve that. I have three amazing DC's who make me proud every day, and who I love spending time with.

Am currently going through a separation and likely divorce in the new year which has given me a bit of a hammering, and I am struggling a little, but I see a brighter future away from a H who spent all his time comparing me unfavourably to everyone and had an EA

MuddlingThroughLife Sorry for you loss x

Much better now than in my 20's. I stayed in a DV relationship for ten years and it wasn't until I finally had the strength to take myself and my then two children away from the situation did I see that life could be very different. Now in my mid 30's I'm married to a man who saved me and we have two children together too (4 boys in total). I'm am hoping to start my NQT year next September in my current school and plan to build on my career. We have just managed to buy our first house together too - so I feel the past 10 years have been great! I'm very fortunate to have five great boys in my life

Better.
Grew up with four of us in a one bed flat, outside loo, no bath, schizophrenic mum, depressed dad (surprise). Terrible school.
O levels by correspondence course.
A levels at a tech
University and a varied and interesting life, own business, great home, great DH, most fantastic child and my very own dog.

Thank you @charm8ed

It's sort of as I hoped it would turn out but it's also worse than I expected because I'm not happy. So that's a bit weird.

Good career, two beautiful children, nice house. Not married but was never bothered about that.

If you'd told me ten years ago I'd be here now I'd have been over the moon. I guess I'm a glass half empty sort of person! I crave the countryside or the seaside and I'm jealous of people who live in villages by the sea. Maybe I should jack it all in and move to Cornwall.

In all seriousness, I'm less financiall comfortable than I expected but that's because of a negative equity flat that costs me £700 a month and I can't sell it. Think I would be ok otherwise. But that's only money.

Fascinating to read this post.

I think on balance mine is better, but with lots of bumps and potholes in the road.

My family had no ambitions when I was growing up and I dropped out of college, doing dead end jobs before realising there was more to life.

Spent the next five years working and travelling the world, seeing the most amazing, fascinating things. Met OH in Asia, but didn't settle down for a good few years.

Mother being terminally ill brought me back home and I had a few short months with her.

Then a few years of mortgage/2 DC/boring job. Enjoyed most of it though. Worked part time so I could (and did) enjoy the early years with my kids.

Marriage mostly pretty good.

Terrible tragedy involving sudden death of sibling. Dark times for us all.

Started my own business so I could work from home. This has been fabulous; we have no savings, but are comfortable. The best thing is being my own boss. Being able to enjoy country walks or swims in the morning instead of commuting!

Crap with money - am mid 50's and still have 10 years to go on mortgage...

Father past 90 now and getting increasingly truculent and demanding.

One DC at uni and flying high, other has problems with MH, so a bit uncertain of outcome there.

Have good health so far.

@MuddlingThroughLife I'm so sorry about your boy.

Much better! Didn’t honestly really expect to still be alive at this point. Younger years were marred by trauma, abuse and mental health problems.

Now I have the most wonderful partner and DD, close friends, I like what I’m studying and I’m mentally pretty well.

I’m also fat and poor but I don’t mind too much because my life is so full of love

I always knew it would be shit, and it is. But what IS a surprise is that I am still alive at 42. Every year is a hard won fight.

For now definitely better than expected. Good job I like, amazing partner who also has a job he enjoys and pays very well so in turn we are way more financially stable than I ever thought we would be. Downside would be living so far away from both our families, I miss them everyday and never visioned living so far away from them but due to partners work we have to stay where we are.

This is a good thread. I've ended up where I wanted to be, when I used to dream all those years ago. Children have turned out well, I am now happily married after many years single. Career I wanted.

Too much time spent on career though so feeling like I'm ready for step down to retirement plan.

I don't know that I ever thought about how my life would turn out. My dad died when I was a child and after that I was just trying to get by. I wasn't raised to have any confidence in my own ability and have been riddled with self doubt. It's really only in the last 10 years that I've started to believe in myself both at work (finally have a well paid job that I love) and as a mother (a long time coming giving that the DC are teenagers). DH has played a large part in me being kinder to myself and he's a great dad. I'm very lucky.

@ItIsWhatItIsInnit Could you try some work shadowing with the paramedics or in any of the other jobs you're interested in? I know someone who gave up a steady job with prospects to pursue a career in the police after spending time as PCSO. She's loving every moment.

Much worse. I wish I had been able to get on the property ladder. I’ve worked hard all my life but have been stuck in rented accommodation with no chance of a way out. No money for clothes or make-up or treats. Worrying about the future. No pension. Think I’ll just top myself when I retire.

@BeBraveAndBeKind - I would definitely like to do that in future. I really enjoy sewing as my hobby and would like to eventually have my own small business making things for people for money, so I'm ploughing away at learning & improving on the weekends. But if that doesn't work out, there's a lot of other jobs that sound good - mainly public services. I want to be a lot more informed & careful the 2nd time round than the first time! 18 was way too young to pick a subject and career. I literally picked maths because it was the best effort/grade ratio and my mum did it. But sadly the jobs bear absolutely no resemblance to the subject - and there is 0 fulfilment to be had in corporate life.

Although I wouldn't vote for them, the LibDems policy on 10k per person to re-train is a pretty good idea. It costs £12k to do a 2 year HND at my local college, which is ludicrous. If anyone in their 20s has that sort of money saved up, it's for a house deposit.