How do you feel your life is turning out ?

[Lardlizard]

Better or worse than you expected

Don't know about worse or better but certainly different.
I got married and had a child later than I thought I would. I also have step-children which I don't think anyone ever 'plans' for.
I also never really envisaged having to work after having a child. Our finances are just about ok, and my health could be better.
But, I have my child, my job is ok and I think I'm happy enough.

Better and worse than expected in a lot of ways. So probably that evens out to about what I expected. My dad says I live exactly the kind of life he thought I would and he's glad. He always said I'd have a great marriage, lots of kids, not much money, but he very happy. He's got it spot on. Familywise I couldn't be luckier. I just wish we owned our home rather than rented it. I expected to have more financial stability. But I wasn't able to get an education because of my mothers abuse, so my pay scale is sadly pretty low. I have some health issues too, but they should improve so overall it's pretty decent.

I'm very lucky when it comes to my beautiful family though. DH is better than I could have imagined and my kids are amazing.

Def worse, but I think its my own fault really.
At 36 I had everything I wanted job, health and personal life wise, then my fiancee of 9 years, dumped me 3 months before our wedding. The same week I was made redundant also losing the company car that came with the job.
I was completely devastated, started having panic attacks ended up in hospital, had to sell the house we'd bought together and cancel all wedding arrangements losing lots of deposits etc. My life completely spiralled out of control. I drank too much on anti depressants, which resulted in me sleeping around just to feel wanted by somebody, anybody.after after about 18 mths I started to take my life back slowly and decided to work abroad and get away for something different. 10 months later I ended up marrying a local, after 3 years abroad we came back to the UK to live. I got pregnant and once again my life went downhill due to a bad choice of man. Roll on 3 more years I have an amazing DD but husband is horrendous and trying to control me. We split and he leaves me to cope with and pay for everything. 2 years pass and I meet a very nice teacher who knows all about being a single parent. After 6 months he meets DD and from then on they see each other every 6 weeks or so and get on great. Then he gives up his job and after that for over a year he just spends time going to occasional agency interviews and a couple of days a week supply teaching. He starts to talk about us moving in together. At that point I realise he's work shy and wants to save money by moving in with me so call time on the relationship. Single for another couple of years up to January 2019. I start dating somebody I've known a fair amount of time and who i very briefly dated previously. He claims to not know why we split the first time round and says this time I need to communicate more and tell him if things aren't working for me etc. I agree to do that and fairly quickly realise that its something I will actually have to do ( think horrible hygiene standards type of thing plus my financial state) . So I start off gently almost jokey, he ignores it mostly or jokily brushes it off. So I become more direct and tell him straight whats bothering me.He tells me I shouldnt worry about things so much. Nothing changes so I sit him down and tell him if things dont change then I'm out. He gets upset and promises things will improve. They do for a month or so then everything starts to slide back.
I call time on the relationship 7 months in. He gets arsey and claims ( again ) that he doesn't know why I'm doing this and why am I ruining something so special. I tell him exactly why. A few weeks later he asks me to meet him to help him 'lay his ghosts' I dont want to really but agree. We meet, he acts all bewildered and proclaims he will 'never understand why you decided to end something that was so good for both of us'
I'm never sure whether I'm just spectacularly bad at picking partners or if its them. Either way the path of my life has always changed for the worse due to the men I've chosen.
No more, at 53 I've had enough. My life is far from perfect but at least I can choose not to put myself through that again

So sorry, I did not mean that to be a rant

A really good question. So much depends on where you're at currently - personally, emotionally, mentally, a short time can mean big changes.

I am going to take the wussy way out answer! Currently its different, rather than better or worse.

I grew wanting to teach and wanting my own family (only child, from very small families parentally). Didn't 'expect' it (not pretty, no boys interested at 6th form while all my friends had boyfriends) went to university, and thoroughly enjoyed it, met DH, completed pgce and got a job. Got married, and had ds. So at this point - so much better.

Not so easy to conceive dc2. Happened eventually.

While I was pg, we found out DH had stage 4 cancer. 12 months to live. Absolutely devastated - life couldn't get worse in that way, although dc2 was a total blessing. Dh died 12 and half months later. Life = beyond worse.

2.5 years on from that (currently) and everything is going well. Ds had managed amazingly with everything he has had to cope with. So, so proud of him. Dd (dc2) is a standard toddler handful but lovely. I have some amazing friends who have helped us all beyond measure. I got money from dh's pension which is enough for us to not be struggling. I am a sahm, and am coping better than I thought I would on my own. So at the moment, life is much better than I would have ever thought it could be 2 years ago. I only hope it stays that way.

Sorry for that insanely long post - something of a therapy session 😳

It is beyond anything that I could have imagined. I can sometimes hardly believe how lovely my life is and how fortunate I am. The only negative things in my life are the scars from my past that still really affect me. That upsets me sometimes. That no matter how love everything is, there's still a lot of pain. Overall though I am one lucky lucky woman.

Worse really. I thought I'd be married with kids and a great career. In reality I'm facing unemployment, oversight, have loads of debt, and no prospect of kids or a wedding any time soon (or ever).

My life is mostly fine day to day though so I'm still grateful for lots of things.

My life is turning out really quite shite at the moment

Separated in July after 28 years together. 3 amazing DC is my only saving grace. He has horrrendous MH issues and I am honestly scared I will NEVER be free of the guilt or from him.

I dont own my own home I rent which is a massive worry to me as I get older.

Ive been in the same NHS job for 23 years though so I guess thats something !

On the whole I honestly think Ive fucked it all up due to my stupid choices.

Far better in some ways. Far worse in others.

My marriage is better than I imagined. I was single throughout my twenties and very paranoid about being unlovable. Then met DH and we still get on 25 years later. Still find each other attratcive, make each other laugh, do romantic, fun things together, have grand plans for our future. I'm very happily married. Never expected that.

I adore being a mum. I never expected to enjoy it this much or get this good at it.

I was slim for most of my life - never dieted. Never had issues with food. Then mediaction for ill health packed on weight I can't lose. Two stone. Very odd. I never imagined having to deal with being fat - the fatigue and self doubt it brings.

My career is not as glittering as I planned (like most people's I expect.) Again, had to scale it back so often due to ill health. But also, truly, my heart was no longer in it. Once I had DC I stopped having that burning to achieve. It went down to a low light. So I am also not as wealthy as I might have hoped in terms of my earnings. But far wealthier than I imagined in terms of owning a fairly big house in lovely area.

It's all been a surprise, really.

It's not as good as I imagined it would be when I was growing up and going to university etc. I'm a lot more skint than I expected to be and having dc hasn't turned out to be the cheery, happy world that adverts would have you believe, but I'm still here, I still (hopefully!) have another 40 or so years to go and I might as well try and make the best of it.

Better than I had any right to expect I suppose. My parents were not weather, working class migrants I suppose. They had a dysfunctional marriage an my mother wasabusive to me. I have a good marriage, two children and, a professional job. Things could be better in that we could be wealthier but we’re not poor. I don’t really have any right to complain.

Oooh. Hard one. Better in a lot of ways, but some things that I really counted on doing (career, travel) have never really got off the ground, and probably won't now. But my joy in having a family and being married has taken me totally by suprise, and I wouldn't swap it

Probably a bit better than I expected but I’ve never really had a plan. Seeing my three DC grown up and happy gives me a lot more satisfaction than I ever thought was possible.
Money, travel, family, house all good, there’s always the odd not so good thing going on-that’s life.

Interesting to read other experiences. I've been thinking about this quite a bit really as I've felt rather blighted for a few years following a difficult marriage followed by very acrimonious divorce and court case. I have 3 children and 2 of them have special needs. One more severe who attends a special school.

I've really struggled to get back into work after being a stay at home Mum for many years so no real career. I have so many appointments for my kids, very minimal practical support from grandparents and 2 very demanding children! And managing school holidays is a nightmare. Have struggled financially since my divorce, but on the bright side I do own our house (with a mortgage.)

I was recently diagnosed with cancer but 2 surgeries later I'm doing ok and have more treatment to come but luckily it's curable.

Luckily I have very emotionally supportive friends and siblings.

So far, it's been a mixed bag.

Beloved Mum died far, far too soon but left me a substantial amount of money, enough to have a 10 year mortgage rather than a 25 year one, let's say. So I have financial security but none of the security that came from having an incredibly, kind, supportive and loving mother who backed me all the way and always had stellar advice to guide me. The money is nothing compared to that. My wonderful, priceless mother.

I'm obese, currently having a horrible health scare and dealing with grief, anxiety and very little self-confidence.

However, I have an incredible immediate family, they are my best friends and I take so much joy from spending time with them. My partner is the sweetest, most loving man who makes me laugh everyday, I have a creative job where I get paid for doing my hobby (although it's very mundane at times) and I genuinely like all of the people I work with.

I could never imagine what my future looked like, but I think if Mum was still here then I'd say it was pretty much all I could have ever hoped for.

Its absolutely nothing like I planned, but exactly what I wanted.
Dh and I were very young when we got together, and I always thought we'd be together. Still going strong, married 21 years, so we got that right!
But..I thought we'd have a farm we would own, near my mum's farm.
Instead we live 2000km away in a port city. He's in the navy, and I'm an artist.
I thought we were going to have 5 or 6 dc, we stopped at 2.
I thought we'd be super fit...not so much!

Much better than I would have expected, although I never really had a picture of what my life would be like. I've had interesting and mostly enjoyable work, and now, thanks to a lot of luck, live in a lovely house with lovely DP, no mortgage. Family on both sides all great. Curve ball came my way this year with a cancer diagnosis, the odds aren't on my side for long term survival so I have to hope I'll be lucky. But even if I'm not, I have been IYSWIM, have had a great life.

As I expected, I guess - in my youthful naivety, I expected it would turn out just fine, and luckily enough, it has.

Life hasn't been without it's sadnesses - I lost both my parents relatively early, and DH had a major health scare a little while ago.

But my life is great. A wonderful DH, two happy and healthy children, we're comfortable, lovely home, friends that I cherish, and a community that I love being part of. I job I enjoy, that gives me a great work-life balance. Although my beloved parents are gone, we still have the family home that we go back to, which is in a delightful part of the country, so the ties are strong, and we get to spend time with extended family.

Even though I expected life to turn out just fine, I'm old enough now to understand how lucky I am that it has. I'm thankful for my lot every day, appreciate it, and understand how different things could be - and how quickly they can change.

Worse than expected but that's largely because I hold myself to a moving, therefore entirely unachievable, standard in an ongoing act of self-sabotage and imposter syndrome.

On the surface it looks ok, but inside it's a fucking car crash.

I am paralysed with the fear of an even worse car crash to do something concrete about it though.

Worse, really. I never seem to get anywhere when I try to achieve the things I want. It's as if I'm trapped in a box.

@BlueBirdGreenFence It is beyond anything that I could have imagined. I can sometimes hardly believe how lovely my life is and how fortunate I am

This is heartwarming to read. Do you mind if I ask whether you actually have people/things/life making it lovely; or whether you are just a very positive person able to see beauty in anything?

Well I'm not married to david Beckham yet so pretty damn shite

On balance, it could be worse, and compared to many people so am lucky. On the upside, I’m financially comfortable, DP is a keeper, we are lucky enough to live in a very nice place and we have lovely friends.

On the downside, I have some chronic but manageable and non life-limiting health problems. I am also completely sick and tired of working. I very much want to retire but I won’t be able to do so for many years unless I win the lottery.

Great thread! I thought I would meet & marry someone a lot earlier than I did & that I would have children naturally. As it turned out, I met DH in my mid thirties & after 2 miscarriages & a lot of heartache, we adopted DD10 as a baby. I certainly didn’t expect to be treated badly by DH for some of our marriage but now we are out the other side & stronger. I always hoped that I would go to University like DB & that I would have a career but instead I’ve “ job hopped”. Now working part time in retail which I mostly enjoy, with lovely colleagues & some lovely regular customers. I expected to see a bit more of the world, although there is time yet. I didn’t expect to be struggling financially, although hopefully things are looking up with DH’s business & I may be able to extend my hours as DD gets older.

Worse. For now. Maybe i can turn it around.

Same. I'm 29 so I like to think I have time. Life can change very quickly anyway.