Coping with a poorly baby. Struggling. DP says I’m overly dramatic

[Whyismycatanasshat]

Can anyone offer me some coping strategies? My partner just keeps telling me I’m being dramatic but I’m really struggling right now.

I have posted before about my DD and her being ill/severe upset stomach.

My 11 month old DD is poorly again. Second spell of diarrhoea in 3 weeks and we’re talking loads of it and loads of nappies. Consistency of gravy, sometimes 2/3 an hour. 5 days now. It has frightened me this time. She looks like she’s loosing weight now.

I do not feel I can go out because I need to be able to change her fast and I can’t get on top of the nappy rash.
I took her to the doctors on Friday night and they said push fluids but I don’t think I’m getting enough into her compared to what’s going out. I can’t imagine how I could be. I’m going to ring the doctors and ask for rehydration salts tomorrow morning.
We live remotely and I’m not seeing anyone because we can’t go to baby group whilst she’s ill.

I am mainly on my own as my partner works seven days a week and long days so it all falls to me. All the washing and cleaning her up. And everything else.

She has had countless other issues and has been investigated by the gastrointestinal consultant; is under paediatric care for reflux. She’s had bloods, elimination diets, stool samples all taken and analysed and nothing can be found.
She’s just a sickly one.

But it’s killing me. I hate this life.
No family or friends who could have her for a few hours; a childminder won’t take her whilst she’s got so a upset tummy, I’ve not seen anyone for a week other than partner who came home, has a beer and went to bed and left at 6am.

She’s been up since 6.30am. She had a burst out the nappy episode and has been deeply upset since. She is currently screaming in my arms and I just need her to fall asleep. I can’t put her down once she is asleep or she will scream again.

Writing this has made me cry.
I hate this.

I appreciate that this all about me and my beautiful DD is feeling worse than me no doubt.
But I don’t know what else to do. I feel like walking away but I couldn’t do that to her.

I do understand how frustrating him working is- but I do wonder who these people are who can always just take time off when they need to. There are plenty of people who just can’t.

Well plenty of people don't work 7 days a week and long days.

Most people get days off as a matter of course.

Many people working a normal working day and not a long one.

The test results did not show anything untoward. Her Dr says it’s purely viral diarrhoea. Keep going with the calpol, food and water and milk as normal.

We’re in a routine now. The most explosive time (the nappy can’t cope, covers her, the pyjamas, cot bedding etc) is between 5am and 9am.
Smaller episodes throughout the day until 11pm. 6 hours respite and it starts again. There’s no change in her, still tired, clingy and not quite herself. Seems she’s given up on cruising for now, which is a shame as she was doing well.

Very glad my employers messed up my maternity and holidays accrued in the previous year so I’m on extended paid leave until January.

Partner still working; away tonight as wagon is going to North Aberdeen. Almost pleased.
MIL has agreed to have the dog for a while as she wasn’t getting walked sufficiently so that’s something. Partner dropped her round this morning. DDog will enjoy the break.

Once this has run its course partner and I need to have a serious discussion about our future.

Thank you to everyone who has made me feel less lonely.

for your and DD.

Sending you a handhold and strength to get through this op. Come back and offload any time.

I've been thinking of you all week OP. Sorry the tests didn't show anything. I really hope it clears up quickly.

Good about the dog - one less thing to think about. Has the Metanium been helping the rash?

It’s showing no signs of abating. Poor wee mite.
Metanium is doing a great job; she’s still got a red and sore looking Backside but so much better than she was and she isn’t howling when you so much as wipe her or dry her like she was previously.

I’m quite missing DDog but she was getting to her limit of being exercised only once DD was asleep or having a ball thrown up the garden for 15 minutes. She will get great walks with MIL and her spaniels.

@BercowsFestiveFlamingo
@FrancesFlute
@VenusClapTrap

Thank you!

Have you tried some bicarb in her bath water?

Yes, only the once as she kept trying to drink the water and I didn’t want her more poorly!

Your poor little girl that cant be nice for her at all. This may seem a silly question but I see your rural. Is your house on a private water supply? The only reason I ask is my little boy had similar issues with endless explosive nappies and test results where clear and also eliminating food groups didn't work. Our private supply was randomly tested and was found to contain contaminants, and we had to switch to bottled water the change in my little boy was almost instant and his nappies where back back to normal within a week. It might not be relevant to you but just thought I would mention it.

@Mummy2one2016 We’re on a spring, shared with 4 other properties - we are in the middle - however it was tested not long ago at all, after a pipe fracture beyond our property junction. It is UV filtered at a source station and again before entering our property.

The first house owner in the system is brilliant at getting it maintained, everything gets serviced and tested as he says his wife is hypersensitive to any changes. Apparently she knew there was a problem between house 4 and house 5 before they did. They moved in 6 months before us, I hope they stay forever.

Aww that's brilliant that they are so good at maintaining the supply and ensuring it is safe for you all to drink. It wasnt really the case where we stayed. Thankfully we have moved now. Fingers crossed your little girl improves soon.

Tough night last night. DD went to bed at 7.30pm and seemed well away; alas she woke up at 8.30pm and cried on and off for Dada until midnight. And pointed to where DDog usually is.

She was having really smelly wind but no poo so I thought we might have turned a corner. 5am and 7am proved otherwise.

Not even sure what day we’re on now; she’s not been across the doors since Monday, other than in the garden.

There’s no let up.

At least Tesco home delivery found us this morning and the driver was lovely. They often struggle. So we have food and more metanium.

This too shall pass, right?

It will

I'm sure it will pass soon

I'd alao consider a probiotic. My 5mo had iv antibiotics which gave him severe diarheoa for 8 weeka but eating and drinking fine.

When i started him on Optibac for babies it cleared up in a week. Follow the other advice too regarding a bland diet.

I am now considering a probiotic. I have read mixed results with regards to the affect on reflux.

She has not pooed since lunchtime but is still breaking loud, smelly and quite forceful wind. So I am anticipating the explosion overnight. Clean bedding, wipes for the cot and wall, towel, new nappy, metanium and fresh pyjamas are all laid out ready for the inevitable lift, strip and wash of her and striping of her bedding and no doubt cleaning the cot bars and the wall which she wipes hands on.

I am home alone again for tonight and tomorrow as partner is driving the wagon up to somewhere Northerly. I am almost pleased as baby can go nappy free for a few minutes, without being told the house smells of poo.

Your DH shouldn't be complaining about the smell, he should be worrying about his baby daughter. Shame on.him.

I think we have established in this thread that my partner has been a dick about DD being poorly. I am focusing on her for now. Once she is recovered I have some thinking to do about where we go from now.

And the house doesn’t smell.

Thinking of you OP. You must be on tenterhooks waiting for the next poo. Was hoping I'd get the the end of the thread and she'd be better!

I think some men are jsut rubbish at handling illnesses. Not meant as an excuse but he probably finds it quite stressful to see her ill and upset and takes himself away from it. Whereas we have no choice but to cope. My ten month old has had croup this week and I've been with him day and night, can't sleep as his coughing makes me too anxious. I would love to just let DP deal with it for a night so I can have a mental rest from the anxiety of it, but it's not going to happen.

You live/work on a farm - has she been tested for intestinal parasites and protozoa?

Aw bless her, and you. I'm surprised though that they aren't doing more to try and get to the root of it, especially as you said it seemed she was losing weight. Is there another doctor you can see.

@OrangeSwoosh - yes and cryptosporidium was mentioned too. The senior doctor wanted tests run for absolutely everything. Fortunately on that occasion she provided enough for several samples.

If she hasn’t stopped with the Diarrhoea by the 5th of December we have to make another appointment to see the senior.

She’s not popped yet but has had a restless night; I’ve been in and out of her room because I can’t tell if she’s crying because she’s pooed or otherwise anymore.

Oh fingers crossed that might be her over the worst.