In labour and struggling!

[codenameduchess]

I've been in labour (via induction) for around 5 hours now, still early and waters haven't gone yet but good god I'm in so much pain already!! Contractions 3/4 every 10 minutes but not as long as they should be. Haven't been checked in hours.

I've had this lovely idea of hypnobirthing, totally calm and serene, no drugs... I'm only just holding off buzzing for meds. Trying my best to hold off a bit longer as I know it gets worse once they've broken the waters.

Any night owls or early risers around for moral support?

I managed to breastfeed too just expressed, hospital gave me a pump and all supplies x

I've asked about pumping, the scbu team won't give me any idea of the timelines they're working to- right now he's off the cpap and will be seeing how he goes tonight, then they'll reduce the glucose drip and increase tube feeds, but won't say what the plan actually is (as in if he stays as is tonight they'd reduce over X time with an aim to start bf in X days or whatever. I know it's not a guarantee I just want some hope!).

I was in so much pain I broke down crying with it, still took 40 minutes to be given anything! Obs aren't great again so been advised to stay in bed and get some sleep, which is hard to do while listening to all those other babies cry.

Oh Duchess - sending you a tight tight handhold. This must be horrendous for you. Hang in there - it sounds as if he's improving and you'll be able to start cuddling and feeding him soon. Being separated from him must be hell though.

@codenameduchess just catching up and I would see about expressing in preparation for feeding at least then you have something to distract you in the ward but fingers crossed it won't be for long and he'll be back with you soon

Oh duchess, I've been there but had dd beside me. He's in the right place.

Do not stress about feeding. I did that to myself. With antibiotics etc, they just need him fed. Do not put yourself under any pressure.

Rest up, while you can. Maybe ask for a private room?

Any labour is hard on the body. As is not being with our newborns. But the best care is being given, and you need your rest

How are things this morning?

Looking up @spiderlight thank you! He's off cpap still and they are increasing milk/decreasing the drip, all being well he should be off the drip in the next 8-10 hours 🤞

It's great that he's making progress : ) You should give pumping a go just to encourage your milk to come in. Even hand expressing can help.

That's fab news! Does he have a name yet?

I was given a pump yesterday so have done a few sessions now and getting more than when hands expressing. It's day 2 now (well 40ish hours from birth) so I'm hoping the milk isn't too far away. Definitely need to keep stimulated as the aim is 30ml a feed.

That's wonderful that he's making good progress. And you are doing an incredible thing for him by pumping for him while he gets stronger in SCBU. Do you have an electric double pump? They are so much easier than single/manual.

Any chance you could get a private room? At the trust where we are mothers with babies in SCBU are high priority for exactly the reason that you said: it's hard to sleep listening to other babies if you can't have yours with you just yet.

And another set back, all was going well then his sats dropped and he's on oxygen and antibiotics. Feeds aren't being increased anymore so any progress looks to be set back by days.

I've been moved to a side room which is a small improvement when I can't be with him. My DD has been upset and school today so I feel guilty about that too.

I'm terrified of being discharged without my baby. There's another baby in here who hardly has any visitors, I can't stand the thought that could be my little boy

Congratulations on your baby boy 🙂

Does your hospital have rooms for parents whose babies are in SCBU to stay in? I did this when my DS was premature & in SCBU for a week.

I hope the setback is short and he's back on the right track soonest lass.

Have a gentle hug.

How are you doing, @codenameduchess? are you feeling physically any better? If you don’t mind me asking, do you have a medical / nursing background? My hunch is that you do. It is very hard being on the other side (I have been too). Sending you lots of virtual support

I'm terrified of being discharged without my baby. There's another baby in here who hardly has any visitors, I can't stand the thought that could be my little boy

I'm so sorry. Don't let yourself sit there worrying alone. Ask the staff to explain what would happen should you be discharged without him. Ask whether there are facilities to allow you to stay, or if not how you could maximise your time with him. I would also make very sure that the staff know you want to breastfeed, and ask what they are able to do to support that, especially if you are discharged earlier than he is.

Is it at all possible for DH to bring DD to visit you? Or if not, could you Skype her from your room? You might both feel better.

Just hold on to the fact that you and DS are in the best possible place for you just now, and you will all be home soon and together as a family.

Congratulations on your chunky little man . When my son was born he had to stay in for a week due to an infection. We were put up in a "flat" in NICU after I was discharged. Have a word with the midwives and find out if this is something that your hospital provides.

No rooms, they have a couple for when baby is ready to be discharged if the parents haven't spent time alone caring for them but only when they are ready to go home. Pumping every 3 hours and getting about 0.3ml a time, only 1 of babies nurses has been positive about getting him breast feeding though.

@NationMcKinley no medical background, I ask a lot of questions as I don't like not being in control. Physically I'm in less pain, but moving about is still difficult and I'm having regular top ups of painkillers.

No one seems to have answers for us, no indication of when either of us could be off antibiotics or even what's caused the signs of infection. Baby is doing really well on skin to skin so I'm spending as much time as possible there with him and his obs do improve a lot with skin to skin. I can barely stop crying, it's physically painful to leave or be away.

DH is bringing DD tomorrow after school so i need to pull myself together for that so she doesn't get any more upset.

Oh sweetheart - so sorry about this new setback :(

It's called kangaroo care, isn't it - you're doing an amazing job for your little boy by giving him all the skin to skin as well as pumping for him. Hang in there.

Re the breastfeeding, you may need specialist advice when you're ready - you can always ring the National Breastfeeding Helpline or La Leche League, for example, and they can advise on complex cases like yours. If you are able to maintain the pumping then you are protecting your supply and there's very likely no reason why you shouldn't subsequently get him feeding further down the line, even if he can't feed to begin with. You do need the right skilled support though.

It's so hard, especially when you're still very much in recovery mode yourself. I hope you are both on the mend very soon.

He's breastfed today a little, I'm still pumping and noticed a change in the colour, texture and volume so hopeful that's the milk starting to come through. I've got 0.5-0.6ml instead of 0.2.

Baby was rooting this morning so his nurse suggested seeing what happened/if he could find it for any comfort... he did find it, immediately and fed for a good 25 minutes. Later on he was rooting again and did 20 minutes both sides! I'll be trying again soon too, he's just had a tube feed and is fast asleep for now though.

And yes @LaDameAuxLicornes kangaroo care, it's really amazing the difference it can make with newborns. I'd be happy to have him on me all day every day!

Still finding it hard to leave him, but the midwives and nurses have been amazing with me. Even at 2:30 this morning when I pressed the call button in a blind panic and couldn't articulate why so just cried on her.

That's absolutely incredible. Well done you and baby boy! Your colostrum/milk will have done him so much good, as will just being able to be snuggled up to you feeding. You will get there!

And you should feel able to press the call button. That's what it's there for. They understand, they have seen it all before.

So glad he's managed to feed. That will do you both the power of good. Keep it up - you're doing brilliantly.