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Just been told we live like pigs

355 replies

ILoveJoeBrown · 09/11/2019 14:14

DS has just told DH that his GF says we live like pigs. We do I suppose.

The house is a shambles, with piles of 'stuff' all over the place. My living room is still full of sh@t from DHs latest fish tank project. He has promised to clear it up but no sign of that. I have tried piling it all up one place, to make it appear tidier but out it all comes again during the week!

We both work FT, as does DS2 and our 3xDSs are all 'grown up', so usually there are 5-7 adults at home at weekends.

DH is very messy and I have to stand on a pile of his disorganised clothes by the side of his bed in order to open the curtains. He also wfh a lot, so has virtually taken over the kitchen table. He has a study upstairs, but it's covered in all his stuff that I take upstairs when I get exasperated with the mess downstairs. I can wfh but choose not to as I'd rather be out of the house.

DH occasionally puts the contents of his pockets on my dressing table when he undresses as his bedside table is - guess what...? I remove his stuff and pile it up on his bedside table anywhere I can find a space.

The boys' rooms are a tip and I end up putting their clean laundry on the floor on the landing as I have given up sorting it into little piles for each one of them and they can't seem to be bothered collecting it from the pile that accumulates in my bedroom!

We are lucky to have a big house, but that just seems to encourage big mess! I used to work PT so would spend my afternoons cleaning. I can't / don't do that now.

I even write '1 chore each' on a whiteboard in the kitchen that they all ignore.

I've stopped worrying about it [kind of - apart from the odd rant] so as a result we don't host dinners or socials like we used to. I can't have people over as the house is a tip. I try to keep on top of the hall / kitchen as they are 'more public', but I'm losing that battle as they won't hang coats up despite the coatrack; they dump school / work bags in the hallway and just drop wet umbrellas by the door!

OP posts:
Branleuse · 12/11/2019 13:05

I did used to have a cleaner years ago that was a bi judgey tbh. She was nice, but she would roll her eyes etc and make patronising comments. It started to piss me off in the end. Im messy, not a child or a bad person.

Sahej · 12/11/2019 23:38

Clean up 1 area a day I know it's hard when you work and have so many things to do but the way you are living is just vile. Can you ask someone to help you?

Tractorgirlz · 14/11/2019 07:52

How are you getting on OP, are the family on board yet?

ffswhatnext · 14/11/2019 12:11

Hopefully, the op is away somewhere clean and relaxing.
Having told all the other adults in the house they had better clean up their shit before she's back otherwise it will all be binned. Cos the professionals will be booked.

It's not the op's mess. Its from the other adults including her own dh.

Sounds like she's surrounded by a load of lazy adults and she's the only one doing anything. How is suggesting she do it a room at a time when she puts their crap away and they bring it back out and the cycle continues?

How will a cleaner make him think oh I should my dirty clothes in the wash so they don't get trampled on every time the curtains get opened and closed?

How would this help others put their own clothes in the wash or for anyone else to do the washing?

How will putting names on bags help them do the chores they are ignoring?

No asking for help. Tell them get off your lazy arses.

Why should op do any more than what she is doing?

How will the op doing any more cleaning, labelling, looking at whatever cleaning fad, or hiring someone stop those lazy fuckers hang up their own coats?

peaceanddove · 14/11/2019 18:26

To be honest I don't think you are going to successfully retrain your family, that horse has bolted. Instead you need to hold a crisis meeting, tell them they are all going to contribute towards hiring a professional declutter to come in. It will take a couple of weeks for the declutterer to do their job and probably cost about £1K. After that, inform them they are all contributing towards paying a housekeeper to come in three times a week to keep the house ship shape.

If they're unhappy about it then tell them they can move out, hopefully they bloody will.

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