My son is 9 and can barely kick a ball.

[FootballFandango]

My son is the.laziest child I've ever met. He even complains about walking the dog. His lack of physical motivation has always been a bone of contention...despite judo sailing cricket tennis and all sorts of other activities that I've tried him on, generally a term at a time. We try to instill discipline and robustness in our children and ourselves but he has always actively hated football.

His school is v sporty and he is the only boy in his class left out of an upcoming football fixture (there are 3 classes so I'm sure he won't be alone).

But I think at 9 he is definitely too old to do beginners football classes.... We can afford 1 to 1 football coaching but despite the fact that he is devastated about being left out, I can't see him actively participating... Even in a coaching session.. Yet he is too young to write himself off as being unsporty. It's obviously only going to further erode his confidence unless I sort out his attitude but that is v difficult.

Has anybody else had a child like this, did you turn it around and do beginner classes exist for football at his age?

Honestly I could have written this about my
Son, his dad is very sporty and loves football and he has just always hated it..... he's tried other hobbies and just never likes anything but he's just started high school and actually came home on the first week and said we played football today it was actually quite fun, and now he looks forward to PE when he does football, I can't see him ever wanting to play for an actual team but

Have you tried something more relaxed like just going for family bike rides? Maybe organised sport and classes like you seem to be looking for just isn't for him right now.
He really doesn't have to like football. The pressure on young boys to like the sport is just horrible. If his school is really that focused on it I would honestly move him. It sounds like an awful environment for his confidence.
I'm sure he has plenty of other qualities that are far more important than kicking a ball about.

Read up on dyspraxia, might sound familiar

Sorry dropped my phone and pressed send!!
I don't think he'll ever love it enough to want to play for a team but it does make me think the older he gets he may become more sporty

Football is so loaded, especially for boys. My DS hates it, has always hated it, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to magically be good at it, or at least good enough to be included. But that's never going to happen for him, because he hates it.

I would be quite robust with this one, while equally trying to encourage his other talents. There are lots and lots of activities out there. Personally, when I was young I hated all sports, then discovered drama and dance and I was off... but I had to find it for myself.

Would he learn to umpire? Could be a way to be involved

Every time he is not picked, every time he is last in Cross Country, it erodes his confidence. But he admits he just hates doing anything physical. But not quite enough to change anything. I dont give him a hard time at all although I wonder if I could have been better at challenging him rather than accepting that he's an introverted artist who would rather draw and paint than run around.

He really is extremely inactive.

I don't want this to happen to him.

He's almost 8. He has always been somewhat clueless about sport, and now is socially aware enough to want to be good at it but is surrounded by kids who have been doing Saturday league since they could walk.

He wants to be on a team and he wants to win, but he has yet to have the lightbulb moment that in order to do those two things he has to actually make an effort.

His teachers at school have told me not to worry too much and that all kids eventually do have that lightbulb moment. Just wish it would happen soon!!

It’s not about the football for him though. He doesn’t want to suddenly be good at football. He wants it to stop being a big thing for other boys. Which it will in a few years, a few kids will keep it up and most won’t. He needs to do things he enjoys, even if they aren’t the popular boy things. Have you tried dance?

Also probably not the ideal school for him if they’re that focused on sport and he isn’t.

It's hard being a boy who doesn't like football but even harder for one whose parent seems to see it as a fundamental character defect! You need to address the feeling of being left out not try to force him into playing. He won't be the only boy who doesn't like football - mine hates it but has a great group of friends who also aren't much fussed with kicking balls around. Address his self esteem and need for exercise by looking for other sports not related to balls - there are plenty out there. There seems to be an unacknowledged need on your part to make him into a certain kind of sporty boy and I suspect the resistance to all physical activity is kickback on his part (so to speak!).

@peoplearepeople
He won't even learn to ride a bike. See? That's how bad it is.

I'm not some gung ho arsehole who wants to raise bear grylls II you know. I want him to enjoy his life.

We do family activities and he literally drags his feet all the time.

But he admits he just hates doing anything physical. But not quite enough to change anything.

What do you want him to change? If he doesn’t like sport or exercise then he doesn’t like it.

If he didn’t like drama/dance/cooking would you force him to do that? Why because he’s a boy must he be forced to do football.

I don't have an attitude problem at all, I have a son I love dearly who has gone to bed in tears because he hates sports.

Your view of your son comes across as horribly judgemental. I would suggest that you do have an attitude problem, and that the intense emotional pressure from you (which is very clear in each post you make) is at least partially responsible for his tears and avoidance of sport.

He may genuinely not “like moving” due to fatigue - you could ask his GP if anaemia, lie ferritin etc could be checked. But the burden of the pressure which fizzes off your posts could be enough to all but paralyse a child.

My son is the.laziest child I've ever met.

For your son’s sake, take a look at your own issues, your extremely critical approach to your son, and your excessive need for him to meet your expectations. What about his interests? What are they?

Sorry, reading latest posts - I know you say you've tried everything but I suspect that's part of the problem. Back off a bit about organised sports and competition and he'll learn to enjoy exercise on his own terms. I was a horrifically unsporty child and it's taken me well into adulthood to learn to enjoy exercise, as it got so bound up with feelings of inadequacy and failure and social exclusion. He knows he is disappointing you and is responding the best way he knows how. Start praising his arty side and respecting him for who he is, before you know it he'll be yomping up mountains with a sketchbook

@deogsoup
Ive encouraged him to try many things some of which are listed above.

I don't give a shit about football myself but it's is frankly disingenuous to pretend that it isn't socially isolating if you are left out of these things.

I have to ask OP - if he was female would you be so concerned about his inability to be technically good at sports?

Not every child is sporty and that's OK. Concentrate on what he does enjoy and is good at rather than pushing loads of different clubs onto him that don't work out

I see that AuntyElle and I have drawn exactly the same conclusion from your posts! You make my childhood self shrink in horror just reading your posts, and I say that as someone who swam 30 lengths this morning.

I wonder if I could have been better at challenging him rather than accepting that he's an introverted artist who would rather draw and paint than run around

Let him sit and draw. Nothing make sport more hateful than some bugger forcing you to do it. Why is it seem as socially acceptable to force people to do sport and ridicule people who can’t do it?
Few people are forced to draw, sing or dance when they don’t want to and are no good at it.

Oh and quite normal to hate all physical activity. I certainly did/do, I go running now but I have to force myself to do it and get little pleasure. I do it for my health. Are you and your OH sporty people?

Know you said you don't want him to be bear but has he tried cubs? My DS loves football never gets in the team cross country same it's heartbreaking. He can climb and run and has endurance proved by his scout group its not sport you need to push but fitness and wellbeing.

I'm an arty type myself, his dad's an academic, we are a geeky bunch. I don't care as long as he is happy. But he's not at the moment.

And on a deeper level I worry about his physical health, surely surely surely it's not normal to barely move once you get home from school.

Let him draw and paint.
Move him to a school where drawing and painting is cool

His lack of physical motivation has always been a bone of contention

Think back to when he was little, what was he like when he was starting to walk, did he want to be in the buggy more than he wanted to walk around? Did he say he was tired after a short time?
Did it take him longer to learn to write or to do zips or shoelaces or ride a bike than your other children? What's his co-ordination like?

Nowadays, is walking and playing sports causing him pain ?

If the above questions seem to ring a bell, ask to see an Occupational Therapist to see if he's hypermobile or dyspraxic.

Sometimes there's a very physical reason why kids appear to be lazy.

Does he run around at playtime?

And on a deeper level I worry about his physical health, surely surely surely it's not normal to barely move once you get home from school.
Why not go for a walk to find something interesting draw? Don’t dress it is getting active or getting out of the house. Dress it as a drawing or art exercise.

I hate hate hate sport due to being forced to do bastard sport at school. I like to walk and I force myself to run for the sake of health but I hate it.

"I'm not some gung ho arsehole who wants to raise bear grylls II you know. I want him to enjoy his life."

Right, but the one pp you felt it "such a relief" to hear from is. As are you. @Xiaoxiong you've approached your 7 year olds teachers because he doesn't fancy multi sports?

I hate sports. Especially team sports. Always have. Thanks everyone for assuming I have a disability. I don't. I'm not obese, I just despise that feeling of my heart racing and I don't like competing