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Dd has failed her probationary period and doesn’t know I know.

109 replies

SleepyKat · 03/11/2019 22:48

She has a part time waitressing/barista job which she tells me is going well. But dh found the letter (face up on dining room table) today saying her probation has been extended for a month. That she knows what she has to work on and manager will meet her in a month where he hopes they will have a positive conversation with a view to her continuing employment.

I’m so frustrated. First of all that she’s dippy enough to not manage waitressing. Secondly that she hasn’t said anything. I’m worried sick she will lose the job as she relies on it for money to help her at uni.

I eat/drink in the establishment quite a bit.....she seems to get on with the other staff well, she always turns up on time. I told her when she started about being proactive and not waiting to be told to do something. ie; if quiet serving go and wipe down tables, do stock checks if needed, etc.

She probably is a bit slower than others making drinks but she does generally do things at a slightly slower pace/isn’t overly whizzy. I’m not sure she can change that. She’s polite and seems to have a good attitude.

Not sure whether to tell her I’ve seen the letter.....not like I was snooping.

OP posts:
Doryhunky · 03/11/2019 22:51

Some places extend probation more often than not

AuntyElle · 03/11/2019 22:52

I’m so frustrated. First of all that she’s dippy enough to not manage waitressing. Secondly that she hasn’t said anything.

That’s a harsh attitude. And so possibly explains why she hasn’t told you.

bloated1977 · 03/11/2019 22:52

Does your daughter know that you think so low of her? You say she's too dippy to even do Waitressing. Waitressing is hard and to say she's not clever enough to even do that is cruel.

AuntyElle · 03/11/2019 22:53

And as PP says, you don’t know what the situation actually is. You’re making very critical assumptions.

Butterymuffin · 03/11/2019 22:53

Don't tell her. She hasn't failed as such if it's been extended. They could just have got rid of her.

Maybe ask if there's anything she wants to tell you, and then be supportive and tell her you know she can do it.

Butterymuffin · 03/11/2019 22:54

I must admit you didn't sound very supportive of her to me. I see now others thought this too.

leghairdontcare · 03/11/2019 22:55

Just leave her alone to get on with her life.

Ninkaninus · 03/11/2019 22:55

Waitressing is difficult. What a horrible attitude you have towards your daughter. Are you always so harsh toward her?

FYI It’s quite common for probations to be extended - if she was truly shit they would not have extended it.

I can completely see why she hasn’t told you.

SleepyKat · 03/11/2019 22:56

Well I know they’re not happy with her performance.

And I’d actually be supportive and try and help her think of ways she could demonstrate improvement if she told me. So I was in there today having lunch and she took a 5 min break and sat with me. The floor was covered in crumbs near where we were and I don’t think she noticed. I never said anything but if I’d known I’d have said why don’t you get a dustpan and sweep the crumbs up.

OP posts:
JoyceJeffries · 03/11/2019 22:57

Waitressing is very hard work.

She’s young and finding her way in life. Give her a break.

smartcarnotsosmartdriver · 03/11/2019 22:58

She hasn't failed probation really she's had it extended. I've seen probation periods extended for all kinds of trivial reasons. To be honest if I thought my mum would say things like that about me I wouldn't tell her if I had my probation extended. I'd wait until either it was signed off or I'd lost the job all together and had no other option but to tell her.

SleepyKat · 03/11/2019 22:59

She got sacked from a kennel cleaning job for poor performance.

She also has a second part time job and she got a letter for that one last week saying she’s under performing and given an improvement plan. She did tell me about that and I’ve been nothing but supportive and helpful and agreeing with her that the manager sounds a cow.

But Potentially losing 3 part time jobs for Under performing isn’t good.

OP posts:
57Varieties · 03/11/2019 22:59

Jesus wept, it’s (presumably) a student job while she’s at uni? Give her a fucking break!

daffydowndilys · 03/11/2019 22:59

As an employer I wouldn't want a member of staffs family coming in all the time.

Stay away for her sake, let her get on with it! Ffs

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 03/11/2019 23:00

First of all that she’s dippy enough to not manage waitressin

With your horrid attitude I wouldn’t bother telling you anything either

Ninkaninus · 03/11/2019 23:00

Because maybe it doesn’t actually work that way there; many establishments don’t want you to show iniative/be proactive/do perfectly sensible things off your own back — they want you to follow process exactly whether or not that’s actually the most efficient way.

SleepyKat · 03/11/2019 23:00

It’s actually a members club that I’ve been a member of for years, long before she got a job there. I’ve always met friends for lunch/drinks there a few times a week.

OP posts:
mistydayswampwitch · 03/11/2019 23:01

You don't get a dust pan out in a restaurant full of people eating and start cleaning unless there is broken glass or someone drops something off their plate. Definitely not for some crumbs! You really don't sound supportive at all. Just critical.
You've obviously never worked in hospitality either of you think she's 'too dippy' for it.

You need to stop hanging out where she is trying to work as well. It's weird. That could be holding her back.

Ninkaninus · 03/11/2019 23:02

Sigh don’t know what that ‘because’ was referring to.

Seriously though, stop micro-managing her! Let her learn her own lessons and develop her own strategies for doing well in the work place.

57Varieties · 03/11/2019 23:03

Even if she does lose this job she’ll get another one. Presumably she’s not planning a career cleaning up dogshit and making coffee

SleepyKat · 03/11/2019 23:03

You don't get a dust pan out in a restaurant full of people eating and start cleaning unless there is broken glass or someone drops something off their plate. Definitely not for some crumbs! Y

Ok, but I’ve seen the manager tell other staff off for crumbs on the floor and tell them to sweep it up and not let the place be in such a state before.

OP posts:
FAQs · 03/11/2019 23:03

To be fair to the Op 3 part time jobs and not that taxing jobs I can see where the frustration is coming from.

Tatiannatomasina · 03/11/2019 23:04

She needs to pull her socks up, it may not be her dream job but when she finishes uni it might be something to fall back on or she may want a reference from them. She is motivated enough to apply and get the jobs, maybe ask her what she thinks is stopping her succeeding.

SleepyKat · 03/11/2019 23:05

I’m sure she will get another one. I’m just worried it seems to be an ongoing pattern. If she loses her job she has no money. She blew her entire first student loan instalment on clothes in 2 weeks. So it’ll be me bailing her out.

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 03/11/2019 23:05

So she is at uni and had TWO jobs? Bloody hell. No wonder she isn't able to give it her best she must be so busy.

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