But where did the tampon go?

[TheVaginaVortex]

FFS.

I know I put a tampon in last night (I have a shit memory so leave the wrapping visible) yet this morning the tampon does not seem to be there As far as I can see, there are two scenarios.

1. It fell out when I went to the toilet - this presents me with the saddening fact that I have finally grown a wizard's sleeve

1. It has somehow been hoovered up somewhere beyond the reach of my (admittedly very small) fingers - this presents me with the alarming fact my vagina has better suction than my Henry hoover and I should do something about my lounge floor.

I usually use a mooncup to prevent this sort of thing but couldn't find it last night (don't worry it's not up there as well, it's somewhere in the bathroom )

DH isn't here and I really do not want to see my GP as I see her regularly about something else.

I'd really like to know which scenario is more likely wise MNers and if it is there somewhere, how the fuck do I get it?

PS I'm not a troll, and have NCed (to avoid a is that you UCM scenario )

@dizzywizz, it’s a bad idea apparently

(My google search for hoovering your period will haunt me forever more)

I should clarify, the article popped up in my newsfeed on Facebook, the google search was to link here not because I thought about trying it.

I just want to know who the fuck Douglas is.

Glad it's sorted.

I once had a similar panic but eventually discovered via the bin that the applicator had been slightly faulty and the tampon was still inside the tube.

That was a relief.

There must be Henry's all over the country in cupboards under the stairs quivering at this thread 😆

This thread has properly made me chuckle. Aaand at the same time reminded me why I tried tampons twice as a young teen and haven't let one of the furry bastards near me since.

Am crossing my legs just at the though of me or any of my friends or family having to rummage around for withheld items.

I like the idea of being able to use a Hoover to finish your period. Obviously I can see why it wouldn't be advisable but wouldn't it be fabulous to just turn up somewhere and get it all over with in a few minutes?

@Fuckenstein

Are there actually people out there hooving their periods? Enough to require an article? Dyson Dyson pet Dyson period

YABVU It will be called VAGVAC

Seriously, I can't believe anyone would do that, I won't even let my DH use my Shark just in case he hoovers any water up and breaks it. like he did to the last one

This thread got even better overnight I think "popped up in my newsfeed" is the modern equivalent of "asking for a friend" btw. Just saying

Henry is sulking as he has been recently replaced with a cordless Vax (this is the one with the useful light which shines on the foof floor - do they think you're hoovering in the dark?!) Anyway, never mind the light, now I know why it has a flexible crevice tool...

For "tricky" crevices apparently.

Are your crevices particularly tricky?

@Ginnymweasley I just felt it was more mum like to actually put a pair of knickers on to be honest I don't know why I didn't wear them for so long. And I don't remember ever feeling cold was probably throughly warm from all the vodka I used to consume before we went out. I miss those days sometimes

This is one of those threads that raises more questions than it answers.

"I just felt it was more mum like to actually put a pair of knickers on to be honest"

Anita I'm sorry but I am really laughing at that sentence This thread just keeps giving - I've happy I decided to share details of my tricky crevices on MN!

Re vagvac, I remember reading years ago that staff at a and e have occasionally had to remove hoover attachments from solo men.....

Oh this thread has me lol'ing
Going to be wary around my non mum friends now on nights out in case they're not wearing knickers and their tampons escape.
@Knittingnanny yes I can vouch for that. We had a man in our a&e about a year ago with an impressive hoover attachment stuck somewhere that a hoover attachment should never have to go. It really was quite some size. I was amazed he managed sitting and walking as easily as he did, it was an X-ray I'll never forget.

Haha! And apparently as a pleasant suction effect also I’ve read!

Was it difficult keeping a straight face?

@Knittingnanny very - apparently this wasn't his first visit to a&e for removal of some sort of object, clearly having to go to theatre for a general anaesthetic wasn't enough of a deterrent the first time round but hey he wasn't at all bothered or embarrassed!! Who am I to judge what people do in their spare time ha!

I’d be very annoyed it that an accessory from my brand new hoover ( shark, bought on mumsnet recommendation)
Meanwhile back to the thread, glad it is all sorted, my husband has just asked me if it has been resolved.

@Knittingnanny What shark did you get? I love my shark far too much, but not THAT much

@TheVaginaVortex I'm loving this thread too I'm glad my life moments makes you happy

Shark - the perfect vacuum cleaner for shark week.

Hilarious thread. Sitting on the toilet laughing out loud ha!! Absolutely fucking brilliant and well needed today

The wizards sleeve comment in the op