But where did the tampon go?

[TheVaginaVortex]

FFS.

I know I put a tampon in last night (I have a shit memory so leave the wrapping visible) yet this morning the tampon does not seem to be there As far as I can see, there are two scenarios.

1. It fell out when I went to the toilet - this presents me with the saddening fact that I have finally grown a wizard's sleeve

1. It has somehow been hoovered up somewhere beyond the reach of my (admittedly very small) fingers - this presents me with the alarming fact my vagina has better suction than my Henry hoover and I should do something about my lounge floor.

I usually use a mooncup to prevent this sort of thing but couldn't find it last night (don't worry it's not up there as well, it's somewhere in the bathroom )

DH isn't here and I really do not want to see my GP as I see her regularly about something else.

I'd really like to know which scenario is more likely wise MNers and if it is there somewhere, how the fuck do I get it?

PS I'm not a troll, and have NCed (to avoid a is that you UCM scenario )

Oh yes, there was lots of twanging and snapping

This happened to me once. I was away for a weekend with DS2 at a sporting event. One of his team mates mum's came to my room so we could get a drink we before we went to watch the boys, and I'd just lost the string from my tampon and was in a panic.

She's a consultant gynecologist and offered to whip it out. I was mortified, but eventually managed to find it after rolling around the bathroom floor for 10 minutes

It has somehow been hoovered up somewhere beyond the reach of my (admittedly very small) fingers - this presents me with the alarming fact my vagina has better suction than my Henry hoover and I should do something about my lounge floor.

Oh. My. God! I shall think of you now whenever I hoover -which (Thankfully for me) I don't do that often!

Keep an eye out for dodgy smells. That’s what happens when lost tampons don’t get removed!

Sorry but (don't worry it's not up there as well, it's somewhere in the bathroom smile) absolutely cracked me up. You sound hilarious OP!

I have heavy periods and I have to be very careful to catch mine when I go for a wee

Bold fail!!

Thank you Spuriouser!

If a tampon has managed to get from inside your vagina into your pouch of Douglas, you’ve got bigger problems (like a secret passage between your vagina and rectum, perhaps)

Well done Nosferatu!

My DH would never go delving around for a missing tampon (and to be honest with his sausage fingers I'm not sure I'd want him to). He's had some kind of vagphobia going on since he decided (for some reason!) to watch DC's disproportionately large head crown in all its tearing glory.

Can't think why.

If you have a stinky kitteh it might be in Douglas's pooch.

They can fall out mine fell out randomly in Vodka Revolutions on the dance floor.
No one see and I was to embarrassed to pick it up so my friend scooped it up and put it in my handbag still cringing now ffs. I was only 18 I don't think I put it in right I'd always used pads but in this dress I was wearing my chuff looked like a ball sack at the front

I'm still gobsmacked that people have got friends to have a look up their chuff for missing tampons

I mean, I've got some great friends. I've known some since primary school so we've been through all sorts together over 45 years or so but I can't imagine asking them to do that.

I used to have very heavy periods years ago,and I have had a few instances of a tampon falling out of me when I sat down on the toilet,due to it being saturated. And no I don't have a 'wizard's sleeve! never heard that expression before

They can fall out mine fell out randomly in Vodka Revolutions on the dance floor.

😮 Where were your knickers?

After 2DC and heavy periods that followed, mine often fall out very easily as they are saturated and heavy. Did you go for a wee in the night but forgot? Did you drink last night as that may have affected sleep too.

Lay back on a towel and have a rummage - I’m sure you’d feel it if it was in there 😬

@BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou
I didn't have any on I only started wearing them when I became a mum as it felt more professional

I'm so pleased other people have also had this traumatic experience and it's not just me thank fuck I wasn't on a dance floor without any knickers

I'm sure now (after Nosferatu's rummaging) that it has disappeared down the U bend - now I have the guilt of flushing something that shouldn't be flushed

why does a mum make you more professional, and what does professional have to do with wearing knickers?

This is a very eye opening thread I must say.

Well this thread is hilarious 😂 crying at the tampon falling out in Vodka Revs.

What do knickers have to do with being professional?? Did you never get cold? Was it not uncomfortable? So many questions.

I would have tried to have an orgasm in the hopes the Contractions shot it out 😂😂😂

I know how you feel re : epilepsy meds as I too have epilepsy and the meds can screw you up when they’re increased !

He also helpfully reminded me we have a cordless hoover with a light on the front if this should ever occur again when he isn't here

That's given me a much needed laugh today.

And I admit that many (many, many ) years ago, I lost a tampon "up there" having forgotten to remove the last one of my period. 2 weeks later, my body ejected a seriously stinky yucky tampon. I'd been to the doctor, who'd given me antibiotics for an infection but hadn't actually checked. It was not something I've forgotten, or repeated.

I’m so glad he said to use the hoover for the light. I saw an article recently about why it’s a bad idea to hoover out your period 😬

What @icebearforpresident a whole article? About hoovering your period out??!!

Are there actually people out there hooving their periods? Enough to require an article? Dyson
Dyson pet
Dyson period