Office life- What is your pet hate?

[SuperMeerkat]

Mine has got to be meetings where nothing ever actually gets resolved. Too much time is spent letting everyone have their say and ideas are considered that we then need another meeting to decide on what to do 😡😡 If anyone actually dares to be decisive then everyone looks at them like they’ve just kicked a puppy.

@Esiotrot - I do that with the hand dryer too

Cheeky gits, disturbing my loo time with tedious yappery.

The office ‘toilet ghosts’... people who occupy a cubicle but sit there in silence for ages.

I always assume they're waiting for me to go away so they can do a massive poo

Men parking their sweaty backsides on my pristine clean desk - where I eat my lunch FFS - no respect at all 🤬

Sorry @NormaBean but that really made me laugh though i can imagine she's a nightmare to work with

Yeah fuck Yvonne

I hate when we have a meeting and the first agenda item is that we have to say how we are feeling. What a waste of time... it's not as if my boss cares anyway.
Also people who "reply all"drive me nuts... particularly when it's a broadcast email that they are replying to. .. eg ... please take me off the distribution list ... grrrrr

I know an Yvonne (not envy)

The lunch interruptions, YOU CAN SEE I AM EATING, PISS OFF!
We have a person with body odour and no one seems to mention it, they may well be coming to sit near me soon, i may have to move desks.
People who book meetings after 4pm on a Friday, i want to go to the pub!!!!
People who don't do my job but like to tell me how to, i have been here 13 years sod off and leave me alone. Ffs

Someone where I work sends a round up email every week if items that are freely available to peruse on the work intranet.

The thing about the Monday meeting is it's just a chance for my boss to talk about what she's been doing. There's no agenda it's pure waffle. Plus two people either don't come / arrive late / sit in their phone the entire time. So rude b

Yvonne works with me too well turns up at my office 09:30 when the rush is over then promptly puts the kettle on not offering anything to anyone else and the rustling begins!! Thank Christ she has moved behind me can't see her stuffing her fat gub really helped me with my 5:2 though!! Then she does fuck all all day but makes herself look extremely busy, loud and important!

I don't work in an office any more but I loathed the endless collection envelopes.

I didn't mind it so much when it was just Janet's birthday or Senali's leaving gift. But then we get roped into financially supporting Alex's wedding, Pip's civil partnership, Una's baby shower, Harrison's new house, Kath's honeymoon... The organisers used to email round with a suggested donation, which was typically a fiver. 'It'd be great if everyone popped £5 in, then we can get her something really nice! [selection of emojis]

If I'd put a fiver in every one of those envelopes I'd have ended up on the streets.

I especially hated the toadying ones. Such as the one for the big boss's husband who didn't work for the company and who most people hadn't ever met who was turning 40.

It was like a primitive GoFundMe grasp-fest with manilla stationery.

Also: the phantom shitter. Every office has one.

Loud eating.
Loud typing.
Smelly eating.

Passive aggressive cc

If I don't do a PA cc, the main recipient will not reply. (The cc-ed person is not supervisor to either of us.)

I've only heard of slide decks today! More wanky terminology that I'll be cringing about using.

We had a meeting last week that featured a slide deck. It was an orientation of our institution. Half the slides were completely irrelevant to our department. The other half were about things we deal with daily or weekly; anyone who didn't know that information shouldn't have been receiving a paycheck for the last five years.

"Let's take this offline"

Said in a meeting, where an issue raised doesn't affect everyone there, meaning "let's email after the meeting". This is demonstratively putting it ONLINE. Why not just say "let's discuss after the meeting"?!

"Sorry I know you're having your lunch but......."

Air fucking conditioning. Specifically the member of staff who has unilaterally decided that 19 degrees is warm enough. I've got a blanket over my knees, Yvonne*, It's fucking freezing.

Our main meeting room has its own heating so I quite like meetings.

*not really called Yvonne but got Yvonne vibes.

Air con wars
Tuna salads
Coffee rounds

Yip our Yvonne also likes to open the window no matter how cold it is outside and the sight of her naked torso as she reaches up to open it is a sight to behold

Air conditioning wars.
Noisy eaters.
Slurpers.
Space invaders.
Smelly food, e.g. mackerel, egg, curry.
Strong perfume.
The Queen Bee (there's always one).
The Clique.
Micromanagers.
Brown nosers.
Gossip.

Sorry so many of you have been Yvonned

Sitting next to people who watch you and your screen, thinking you don't know that they are watching you.

People who pry into your private life.

Mood swingers.

High heel stompers.

@NormaBean I have one that gives me constant gynaecological updates including colour, flow, length etc. I have no idea why, I have never asked her! She is just a massive over-sharer when it comes to her many various health issues.

Slide decks is quite common I think. My personal favourite is when someone has 119275 slides and hen go through saying 'well I don't need to show you this one'. Delete it then!

I can’t stand people (maybe irrationally) who can’t seem to remember that I work part time and so contact me on my day off all the bloody time about shit that could definitely wait ONE DAY until I’m back in the office. I’ve worked these hours for 8 years now!!