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Original poster

How many friends have you got

119 replies

Mumof21989 · 24/10/2019 12:09

I have one mum friend and one friend I met at 18 12 years ago.

I say hi in the street to people from school but all my school friend ships have fizzled out.

I don't have a bestie that I spend heaps of time with anymore.

Just having a thoughtful moment as there's a page opened on Facebook this week for school pictures to be exchanged amongst ex students. Weird looking back to my school days and seeing all the faces I spent most of my life with back then.

OP posts:
Diy2019 · 24/10/2019 12:13

I have no friends.

I have loads of brothers and sisters in laws, colleagues and school mums that I am friendly with, but wouldn't call any of them friends.

ComtesseDeSpair · 24/10/2019 12:16

Maybe 6 or 7 really good friends - people who I see at least once a week, could ask out whenever, give to and receive practical and emotional support etc. About twice that friends whose company I really enjoy but who I wouldn’t often see one on one, only usually in small groups or at gatherings and parties etc. And then about 50 or so acquaintances who I’d chat to when I meet them and again see at parties.

Making and keeping friends does require time and effort. I moved back to London after several years away three years ago and had only two friends left here. It took me over two years of always saying yes to invitations if I received them even if I didn’t really want to go, and making a concerted effort always to follow up with people I’d met to get to where I am now.

SapphireSeptember · 24/10/2019 12:20

Only three really close ones. I have one friend left from school, a few I met on a music forum, some from the Bothwell thing I went to in the summer, and I get on well with some colleagues but they're not close friends. Also have some church friends but I have to keep quiet about a lot of things.

hopeishere · 24/10/2019 12:22

Hmmmm.

I have my sister.
I made one mum friend via school who I would consider a proper friend
I have a friend in America who I'd call my "best" friend but we only see each other once a year but text a lot so we keep up to speed
I have a few mum friends who I occasionally socialise with also made through school

That's about it really. I've a big birthday next year and won't have a party because I feel I don't have friends. I could probably invite 50 people but they're not bosom buddies. I find it hard to let people in for various reasons. I'm content with the number of friends I have.

PlasticPatty · 24/10/2019 12:22

No friends.
Not arsed.

Gatekeeper · 24/10/2019 12:27

none

Orangecake123 · 24/10/2019 12:28

2 at the moment I'm close to, but we study together. Lots of other people I say "Hi " too though.

I had 4 other best friends which ended when I felt like I was being taken for granted and they wouldn't be there when I really needed them.

Before them I had another friend from my first degree but even with her she differed away and stopped replying to my messages. So I stopped contacting her.

magicstar1 · 24/10/2019 12:30

Two that I would call best friends that I see regularly. A couple of friends from my teenage years that I see a couple of times a year, but could call on for help if I ever needed it. A few casual friends that I would go for drinks with etc.

confusedandemployed · 24/10/2019 12:30

Umm. 3 close friends where I live, DSis and 2 friends I made in nursery school over 40 years ago.
Lots more acquaintances or less close friends.
I am a social butterfly...

elfycat · 24/10/2019 12:32

I have 3 friends. One from school days, one from work days and one from having kids at the same time/school. These are people I would move mountains for and are more like siblings to me. Two of them are in our will to have the DDs if anything happens to us. It's reciprocal and I'd have theirs.

I have other friends, people I like and spend a lot of time with, but if I moved away I know it would fizzle out over time. It's a group with children at the same age/school (DF 3/3 is one of them) and we can grab each other's kids, cat sit, whatever as needed.

Then there are people I like and keep in contact with, but might only see in person once every few years. In the olden days these are people you'd get Xmas cards from forever and if you were on holiday in their area arrange to see again.

I had to 'dump' a friend a few years back. She was in the first list but over time it became apparent that she was a very damaged person - ticks every box for a covert narcissist, and she became quite nasty - spreading lies about several people including me and one day the rest of us sat down to work out what was going wrong and it all came out. Dumping a supposedly good friend is as painful as any other relationship breakdown.

bobbley · 24/10/2019 12:34

7 that I consider best friends who I know I can talk to about anything, support each other through thick and thin. We're not a group, they barely know each other, they're people I've met throughout life at varying points from school and work. From between 35 and 10 years.

Loads that I consider friends as in can go for a drink with as a group or have trivial chat and coffee with.

I enjoy my friends and invest in maintaining the relationships. Some of my best friends I only see a few times a year as we have such different lives and don't live close, but I know we'd be there for each other in a second. I think the secret is good listening skill, asking about each other, sending cards/messages at poignant times. Not living in each other's pockets or being jealously their other friends.

StormBaby · 24/10/2019 12:34

None. I have people I would say hi to. I may get invited to something once a year or so. I have my dh and my kids, thats it. No family left, and no friends.

LeftoverPizza · 24/10/2019 12:35

Probably 5 close friends, that have followed me through school and life. And then a few mum friends.

delilahbucket · 24/10/2019 12:35

Five really close "could call in a crisis" friends who I see the most, eight friends I see fairly regularly and make an effort to see (and vice versa) and hundreds of people I know and would stop to talk to if I passed them.

Ivysaurus · 24/10/2019 12:36

I have 3 best friends, all who have been my friend since school or 6th form. I have probably 2 friends who I haven't hung out with in years but will stand and chat for a while if I bump into them
Several people from school I say hi in passing but wouldn't message or hang out. Then I have colleagues who I would call friends but rarely hang out with outside work
I also have a friendship group I 'acquired' through getting with my partner, basically his circle of friends and their partners (6 guys) so I class those as my friends now too.

Redshoesandtheblues · 24/10/2019 12:43

Interesting question.

I'm pretty useless at keeping in touch, so I've lost contact with friends on a regular basis.

Currently, three that i know i could count on and vice versa, no matter how awkward the pickle.

I had one whom I considered a very close friend. Supported her through years of stuff. Gave her a lot of time.

Then she met her boyfriend, now partner, and I was then superfluous to her requirements.

That didn't actually bother me that much, but it did hurt when I let her know my mum had died and she didn't bother acknowledging it.

But sent mesage few months later saying, hope life treating you well! It is me!

Angry
hallohallohallo · 24/10/2019 12:44

I often think back to the people that were so important in my life 10-20 years ago and over time after uni and moving houses and starting families we've lost touch. There are people in my life now that I say 'hello' to, but not sure who I would call a true 'friend'. So I guess none OP.

GoodDogBellaBoo · 24/10/2019 12:45

Close colleagues and family, but no friends. I used to have it, but not for many years and I often feel very lonely.

Sparklyring · 24/10/2019 12:47

I'm fortunate to have a lot, we (DH and I) have a large group of friends, 8 couples that we socialise regularly with. I have 3 close friends from school and 3 other close friends I met through work. Get on very well with a number of colleagues who I socialise regularly with.

madcatladyforever · 24/10/2019 12:50

Around 150. I only have actual friends on Facebook that I see regularly, go to stay with and ring. Even if it's only once or twice a year but I dont do B ffs or relationships as I like my own space.

madcatladyforever · 24/10/2019 12:52

It does take a huge effort to maintain all those friendships though.

Blowandgo · 24/10/2019 13:01
  1. One since we were 4 years old, another since primary school, 2 from secondary school and one from college. I am very lucky with my friends - I work with one, another lives very near me. The other three I see sporadically during the year as we live miles away from each other but they are only on the end of the phone if I needed them and vice versa. I am not close to my family so they are more like family to me than anything else. I also have a few aquaintances since becoming a parent but they are just that.
Magpiefeather · 24/10/2019 13:06

Hmmm....

“Best” friends I could tell anything to, call anytime with any problem etc: 4 plus 1 sister

Good friends I have made as a mum - would help me in an emergency and we are there for each other: 5

Good friends who I don’t see often (sometimes for years) but we can “pick up where we left off” : 2

Cocolapew · 24/10/2019 13:08

I have work friends but none that I would call a best friend. I do have a good relationship with them though,. I get a laugh and they would help me out if I needed it.
I cooled my friendship with what I would call a best friend about a year ago. It was emotionally draining me and I want getting anything out of it.
I go out with DH mostly, the DDs are adults now so we like actually getting to do things together.

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep · 24/10/2019 13:10

Probably about 10 at various levels of closeness.

As I've got older I've dropped a few of the fair weather ones or ones who I didn't think gave a shit. Nothing more soul destroying than trying to maintain a friendship for the sake of it.

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