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Original poster

How many friends have you got

119 replies

Mumof21989 · 24/10/2019 12:09

I have one mum friend and one friend I met at 18 12 years ago.

I say hi in the street to people from school but all my school friend ships have fizzled out.

I don't have a bestie that I spend heaps of time with anymore.

Just having a thoughtful moment as there's a page opened on Facebook this week for school pictures to be exchanged amongst ex students. Weird looking back to my school days and seeing all the faces I spent most of my life with back then.

OP posts:
MeggyMeg · 25/10/2019 07:47

Now I think of it,the people i know who get on the best with others and have lots of friends are really good at making you think they genuinely like you. They seem to treat everyone the same no matter how annoying they maybe. One of my friends is like this until shes had a few Wine and starts to fess up. The only issue is you never really know where you stand with these people as they're so good at acting as though they do like you.

DeniseRoyal · 25/10/2019 07:52

I have quite a few friends, but best friends who I share everything with, I'd say 2, plus my sister, who is my absolute bestie. Having DD shrunk my circle of pals, but I'm very lucky in that when we moved from a city to a small village, I made some fab new Mum mates. And they are amazing ❤

WallyWallyWally · 25/10/2019 08:16

I also find alot if people are to be quite honest, not that nice. I'm curious to know whether those with lots of friends find the same and they don't see it or just hide their feelings better?

This really interests me. My more introverted, stand-offish friend and I are often at the same events and mixing with the same people. When we talk about the event afterwards, it will turn out that she has taken offence at or been upset by something someone said, which I genuinely have not picked up on or, if I have, I really don’t care enough about it to take offence. For me, people say mean or unkind or stupid things sometimes - we all do, for lots of reasons. unless they are being outrageously rude or sexist or racist or whatever, I don’t really care, and I wouldn’t necessarily write them off for this one thing they’ve said. For my friend though, it’s a clear indication that this person is «not nice» and therefore to be avoided in the future.

WallyWallyWally · 25/10/2019 08:24

So same event, same people, same conversations: two totally different interpretations and reactions.

Verily1 · 25/10/2019 08:31

Around 150. I only have actual friends on Facebook that I see regularly, go to stay with and ring

You phone 150 people?

Gosh I don’t have that many peoples phone numbers!

A lot of looser friends I can only contact through Facebook, don’t have a phone number or address of.

If phone number/ address is a measure of a friend then I’ve only got a handful.

Adversecamber22 · 25/10/2019 08:42

I have two friends I would call in the middle of the night if I needed to.
Then five friends who are good friends and share most but not absolutely everything with
Then another five who are more meet up for coffee have a laugh with but would not be sharing really personal stuff with.
I have four sisters, I’m deliberately NC with one, close to two and the other I see rarely.

I’m off to spend the weekend with one of my share most but not absolutely everything with.

Ellabella989 · 25/10/2019 08:46

I have my sister who I’m really close to, and also my mum whose my bestie. Other than that I have my DP who is the person I spend the most time with and the person who knows me best, 1 close female friend who i do something with once a week, and about 8 “acquaintances” who i would stop to chat to if bumped into them or would very occasionally meet up with once a year. That’s it.
I had loads of friends at school but I moved away in my early 20s and was lazy about keeping in touch with them which I regret now.

AltheaVestr1t · 25/10/2019 08:51

Four very close friends that I could call in a crisis. Lots more that I socialise with, can have a serious chat with and enjoy spending time with. We’re very lucky to have maintained a group of our uni friends for 18-20 years, and most of us still live in the city we went to uni in.

PickAChew · 25/10/2019 08:52

I was about to say none but I've made a good friend, this year, just not close enough in distance to rush over and hide a body with me.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 25/10/2019 09:00

About twelve/fifteen. I prefer going out once a month as part of a group. I don't like one to one, phone calls and daily coffee type friendships as they make me feel suffocated. My dh is probably my best friend. I seem unusual in this respect. I didn't think it was until I came on mn. Most people seem to want close friendships and frequent contact.

Lowlandlucky · 25/10/2019 09:09

Many may acquaintances over the years, many friends who i have had a close few years with but due to being with the military we have always ended up on opposite ends of the country/world but still keep in touch. I have 2 great friends that live close by and we socialise together every week. I have 1 friend that that lives 400 miles away, we text and chat a few times a week and see each other twice a year, I would get up and travel in the middle of the night if she needed me and she would do the same for me, in fact we have both dropped everything at a moments notice to be there for each other. One good friend is worth a million acquaintances

TravellingSpoon · 25/10/2019 09:13
  1. One I met at work about 15 years ago and we just clicked. We go away together every year and meet up about once a month but we both know we are very busy people so we dont see each other every day, the other one is a Mum friend and we do see each other most days, go out once a week and have a breakfast date weekly too.

I dont need a big circle.

thatwasMauijustmessingaround · 25/10/2019 09:27

Grand sum of zero I'd say

joyfullittlehippo · 25/10/2019 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sheshootssheimplores · 25/10/2019 09:37

I have one person I consider a good friend. Although she has tons of friends, many from childhood, so I suspect I’d be pretty low down on her friends list.

I have lots of people I’m friendly with and lots of people who would like to have me as a more important friend, I tend to be a bit aloof. So it’s fine with me.

joyfullittlehippo · 25/10/2019 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Linnylinn1 · 25/10/2019 09:43

3 good (best) friends ( 1 from secondary school and 2 from uni) they live abroad or in a different county. We keep up contact and pick up where we left off every time!! The best kind of friends! These are ones I can rely on, go away on spa weekends/ concerts etc.

Friends at work that I enjoy the company of outside of work. There’s a group of 5.

And the people I can go to for anything and everything are my 4 girl cousins I grew up with, we are thick as thieves and can rely on each other for everything!! I am so so lucky to have them.

Spied · 25/10/2019 09:50

One close 'friend' but tbh I've recently seen her true colours and realized she's a CF and not really a true friend.
One mum friend who I chat to and have got to know well over the last 5/6years.
We chat on the school run and have met up with DC. We also chat on the phone and help each other out if nedded for emergency school pick-ups etc.

happypotamus · 25/10/2019 10:09

None really.
I consider DH my best friend.
I have colleagues who I get on with, have a laugh with, one or two that I talk to when I am upset, but I never see them outside of work (to be fair, my work is very intense, we are there for 13hrs at a time and we go through hell and back together some days)
I have a school run friend, who I met when DC1 started school 4 years ago and we chat on the way to and from school and our DC are sometimes friends and we sometimes get together in school holidays, but again we don't meet up at other times or without the DC.
My school/ uni friends are on facebook but we don't keep in touch beyond the occasional message and liking each other's pictures and statuses.

Whatsyournameagain · 25/10/2019 10:13

None. I don’t like it but I’ve learned to accept that that is how it is, and if I want to go to events like concerts, gigs etc that DH doesn’t like the sound of, I either go alone or not at all!

MeggyMeg · 25/10/2019 10:25

@joyfulllittlehippo. I think you've misunderstood my comments and misquoted what I actually said (assuming you meant me). I didn't say people with friends are "fake'. I was basically saying that they are better at hiding their feelings or not noticing when people are being arses. Maybe people with more introverted tendencies are more sensitive to comments made by others. Or perhaps some people are better at shaking it off.

I also didn't say 'Most' people arent nice. I said I felt 'alot' weren't. It can be difficult to sort the wheat from the chaff sometimes. You meet someone, think they're great etc and then realise they're competitive or cobstabrot wanting favours without returning them or that type of thing.

joyfullittlehippo · 25/10/2019 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparkletastic · 25/10/2019 10:52

Approx 30. Including 1 'best friend' and 4 others that I am extremely close to. I make friends easily and am very sociable despite being a 50/50 introvert / extrovert.

MeggyMeg · 25/10/2019 11:27

I dont think it's a case of what's wrong or right when it comes to making friends and managing friendships . This is all just opinion and different views, so dont take it so personally . It sounds as though you weren't the type of person I was referring too anyway.

I know people who are always super lovely and smiley to absolutely everyone. They tend to be the ones with lots of friends, or at least the people everyone likes. Nothing wrong there. All I'm saying is these people must be better at hiding their true feelings in order to be nice to everyone, even the ones they meet that arent nice (we all come across them) or they dont notice as much as others do. My eldest DD certainly puts up with people for far longer than my youngest DD would. On the face of it she has more friends. But as I said, when she was put in a position where she no longer had to see some of those people it was at that point it became clear who she considered a friend and who she didn't. I found it interesting as I know my younger DD would have made that distinction quite clear alot earlier. The pros of course are that my eldest would have more friends (not wthat my youngest doesnt ,but in terms of numbers). But the downside might be that the people who thought they were DDs friends because shes been so consistently good at hiding her feelings about them and being nice , has meant they may feel like they dont know where they stand. It's difficult to explain on here but I know what I mean. Anyway, I feel I have enough friends so it's not an issue. I was just pontificating.

RosieandFin · 25/10/2019 12:22

No best friend
No work colleagues
No family

People I say hi to on the school run and met through college but I wouldn't really call them friends. Since college finished and outside of school we don't stay in touch.

I have one person who I've recently reconnected with from school but again we aren't close. I'm friendly with a mum at playgroup but other than seeing each other there we don't do anything together.

I have no one who I would call in a crisis. I have my dh and my dc and that's it.