Mumsnet the musical

[sashh]

Ok it's silly O'clock so my brain is doing weird loops and I just thought, what if mumsnet was a west end show?

There would need to be songs about

Parking
Woo
some mystery eg a locked safe, 3am man, disappearing ironing board
AIBU would be a chorus number
Wooly hugs would be a soulful sad song with an uplifting chorus.

What else?

Who would play Justine?

Would there be a plot or would it be a game of Mornington Crescent?

The stage would have to be decorated with twigs and pebbley shit and intermission drinks would be served in penis beakers or mooncups. There would need to be a Greek chorus all dressed in identical Boden outfits whilst performing synchronised head tilts and pearls clutching.

Opening ballad would be "Mouldies" sung to the tune of 'Memories' from Cats, where mumsnetters poignantly mourn the lost heydays of yore.

Just another thought, we need a judgy pants song too, who can write that one?

From the Scottish Isles and down to Hants
You'll find us wearing Judgy Pants
Whether it's your mum or father's cousin
Someone's got a hoiky bosom

@showyourselflucifer perfect 😂

I’ve been cheated by you since I don’t know when
So I’ve made up my mind it must come to an end
Look at me now
Will you ever learn
I don’t know how
But I’m going to lose control
If you don’t stop being a troll

One more blag and I will throw a fit
One piss take and I will lose all my shit
Woooah-Oh-Oh-Oh

Cheeky fucker
There you go again
Fuck’s sake
How did I befriend you?
Cheeky fucker
Take the piss again
And I
Swear to God I’ll end you

Ooh you’ll be broken hearted
When your free ride’s departed
Bye-bye - time for me to let you go

Cheeky fucker
Now I really know
It’s now time for me to let you go

@Pinkarsedfly brilliant!!

No 'Mumsnet - The Musical' stage would be complete without some cunt bunting!

@Pinkarsedfly

I have the Abba tune in my head, brilliant.

I’m working on a Mumsnet version of Somewhere from West Side Story, for the big finale.