Yet another fecking gift experience that is useless

[Jaggypinecone]

I am utterly sick of these. I know they are well intentioned but I have never used any yet as they are too far away or just not our thing.

I'd hoped to avoid this happening again by 'having the conversation' with the person who usually buys me one for Xmas but it arrived early as he can't make it home for Xmas this year.

When you think about it, it's basically telling someone how you think they should spend their time. Time is the most precious gift of all and I don't want to spend mine shoehorning an afternoon tea for two at some shitty hotel or a fecking segway trip into my already busy schedule. It was bought down in London so is London centric. Given I live in the Scottish Highlands the nearest thing is in Edinburgh - sigh!

Straight to charity shop. And I'll need to 'have the conversation' well before xmas time next year. Any advice on how best to word this?

The greatest gift ever for me would be not to participate in Christmas at all and just be left alone. I fecking hate it.
To me it's just another day, I always choose to work but nobody can understand why I don't want to give or receive gifts nor spend days trecking from one end of the country to the other to see people.

Regift it to another friend or family member?

Unless they've changed it recently, another way that companies always used to cash in, even when the vouchers are used, is to sell them in bands, according to how much the giver pays. Therefore, if you have, say, a 'blue band' voucher, you can choose from anything in the blue or any lower bands.

The price paid by the giver is obviously based on the most expensive option possible in the chosen band, so anybody who chooses something cheaper in the same band, or in a lower one, represents even more profit for the company.

I was hoping the "surely you don't spend all that time in the Highlands" poster would come back and explain that statement 😂

They're probably just another narrow minded 'couldn't imagine anyone else's lives being different to their own' poster, such as:

you couldn't possibly need a dishwasher if there's only two of you
I cannot ever imagine being in a situation where I would need to go to the toilet outside
There's absolutely no reason at all to ever need cash any more
You don't need more than one car per family, just use public transport

etc etc etc

Too lazy to read the whole thread but I'm with you. My family sometimes buy them for other family members who dont drive so the onus is on other people to drive to these experiences so no one misses out.

Rather than a charity shop, stick it in an envelope and send to your local hospice or similar. They'll either use it for beneficiaries (unlikely given where you are) or use it as a raffle prize at a fundraiser.

It's not ungrateful to be frustrated by a 'gift' that's so difficult to actually use - especially if it's something you could already do locally for much cheaper in terms of money and time. Why would anyone travel for hours/hundreds of miles just for afternoon tea, anyway? Unless you're already going to a special event in the same area it's not even worth considering.
There are some Experience days I'd like to do, but mostly they just seem like a ripoff to me.

I love experience gifts. I have too much stuff already and don't want more so if someone has taken the time to think about giving me an experience I am very happy. Especially if it is something I will enjoy but can't afford or hasn't thought of.
But if its not your thing perhaps you should just ask whoever it is who buys them for you that you don't want presents this year.

I don't think you sound ungrateful. A gift isn't a good gift if it costs the receiver money!

BIL keeps buying us "experiences" and tickets and it's a ball ache trying to get them used by the expiration date. One was a laser quest hour for the kids. Entry is normally £10pp so a £30 gift.
It was over two hours drive away in the next country, cost us fuel, over 6 hours of our time off and an absolute fortune in food at those shitty food courts inside that served barely warm chewy pre made paninis or those ecoli laden ready made foot long hotdog rolls and £1.50 Fruit Shoots.

I've told DH to have a word before next time.

Is it a virgin one?

If so you can swap for bottles of wine... that's what I did and gave them as christmas gifts if we went anywhere over christmas

@BarbaraofSeville

They're probably just another narrow minded 'couldn't imagine anyone else's lives being different to their own' poster, such as:

you couldn't possibly need a dishwasher if there's only two of you.
I cannot ever imagine being in a situation where I would need to go to the toilet outside.
There's absolutely no reason at all to ever need cash any more.
You don't need more than one car per family, just use public transport.

etc etc etc.

Agree with you. The 'I do it and my circle of friends do it - so you're weird and WRONG if you don't' brigade.

I know someone (late 20s) who goes on and on at 2 women at work who are 5 years older than her, because they don't drive/don't want to learn, and goes on and on at people for being 'boring' when they have no desire to travel a 6 hour round trip for a 90 minute rock concert, (that basically takes up the whole day,) and nags and nags her mother to get a smart phone even though she is 61, doesn't need or want one, and has a little PAYG £10 mobile phone that has been fine for nearly 2 decades.

Her daughter's smartphone battery is on charge nearly all the time, and when she goes out it seems to run out real fast (before the day out is up.) Yet the little 'texts and calls only' cheap PAYG ones have a battery that last a week to 10 days.

I also know a woman (aged 29) who tells her mother AND sister all the time that they need to get a new hairstyle, and dress differently instead of wearing jeans and a navy or black jumper or t-shirt all the time.

What the fuck has it got to do with ANYone? So annoying when people try and tell you how to live/what to wear/what to buy. Fuck off and leave people alone.

I was given the gift of Tank paintball. It was an awsome gift and I now know how to drive a tank!

OP, you’re not being ungrateful at all. This thread has made me laugh, clearly some people have no idea how different traveling around the highlands is compared to more southern parts of the U.K.

This thread has reminded me of a trip I took with a relative of mine years ago who grew up in London. They were going on about how stressful traveling around London by car is. We went up the Bealach na Ba, I still laugh about it now. 😂

I know what you mean. I was bought a spa day last year. My idea of hell, but I felt obliged to use it as it was a generous gift. It was every bit as awful as I expected. I also have a cupboard full of bottles of wine received as gifts but I don't drink. They usually get regifted or sent to school etc as raffle prizes but I couldn't really do that with the spa day as it was too expensive.
Gift cards are another one. I've currently got over £500 worth of gift cards to be used at shops that either we don't have where I live or sell stuff I dont use. The frustrating thing is that we are short of cash at the moment as I am on long term sick leave so actual money or something like vouchers for supermarkets would have been really, really useful. But instead I have a pile of vouchers for luxury goods. I know people mean well. They are mostly gifts from people who think I need a treat or pampering because I have been so ill which is really kind, but I need to buy bread, not body lotion! Hopefully I can buy Christmas presents with them at least.
Sorry, going off the subject a bit, but I get where you are coming from OP and I don't think you sound selfish.

You can sell gift cards on eBay for a very good percentage of the face value (90%+) and if you look out for the £1 selling fee promotions, which are every other weekend in my experience, although this may be account specific as you have to opt in to get the offer) you won't pay the 10% final value fees.

That's what I would do in your circumstances, Elbow

I would personally love some of those, tbh.

There's always the option of regifting, as I'm sure lots of your other friends/family would find it a really generous gift.

I think these are great gifts in comparison to bits of tat that people won't even end up using.

This thread is exactly why so many people ask for cash gifts or have gifts lists! Totally the best way to go so the recipient gets exactly what they want / need and nothing gets wasted.

Send it back to him. He can use it and will finally understand your hints that it isn't for you. Saves him wasting money.

And agreeing with pp cash or lists are better. I've regifted or unused certain gift vouchers due to people buying the clothes shops they like but ones i nevet use.

YANBU OP. Someone once gifted me a £100 voucher for a really posh spa. However a spa day cost £140 and I didn’t have £40 to spare. So the voucher went to waste and the spa pocketed my £100 gift.

You're NOT ungrateful at all! I think the person who gifted you this is a thoughtless fool! Great. So now you have to either spend HOURS on a train to London just to segway like some arse for an hour. Or fly. Thanks for the additional-out-of-pocket expense in order for me to NOT enjoy my shit gift.
I'm with you all the way, OP. I live in London. I'd LOVE to live in the Scottish Highlands. London gives me the bends.

If they have a birthday or Christmas coming up maybe you could regift it to them? If they bought it, sounds like something they would enjoy.

Experience gifts can be great, but only if they're thought through properly and given for an event and location which is convenient for the recipient.

My SIL and BIL once gave my PIL a voucher for afternoon tea in London - we don't live nearby, it's about 2 hours by train. They said "we thought you could make a weekend of it". So PIL would have to pay for return train tickets and hotel just to take advantage of a £15 afternoon tea voucher. It would have easily cost them over £100 and they aren't well off.

I didn't know you could give them to charity I just bin them I don't want a cream tea in a random hotel twenty miles away (work related bonus, men got gift vouchers). Spa day (for 1! hotel forty miles away).

There's always the option of regifting, as I'm sure lots of your other friends/family would find it a really generous gift.

Whats the actual point in giving someone an expensive present then?
Should we all be grateful we have received a present we cant use and have to give to someone else? Every freaking year?
What does that leave op with as a gift every year? Big fat zero!