Looks like drunk me tried to write a comedy.

[BoswellsBollocks]

I haven’t had reason to look at the notes on my phone for a couple of weeks. I’ve just looked now and apparently a couple of weeks ago after a couple of drinks I started writing a comedy.

Drunk me has ordered crap off eBay, drunk me has declared ‘the safety dance’ the greatest song ever written, but now drunk me wants to be the next Phoebe Waller-Bridge.

My notes include:

The main character is not the main character, someone else is.

The old lady in the shop is pregnant with 2 twins.

The town crier is a cross dressing pillock.

And then the killer note...

Go to writing lessons. 😂

I’ve made myself chuckle this evening at least, even if no one else ever gets to witness my comedy genius. 😂

Drunk me rarely does anything particularly daft - except occasionally carrying on drinking too far.

Tired me though... well. Put me in front of an ebay or amazon page at 2am when I should be well in bed, and I'll end up with something I've always wanted but that I don't have anywhere for.

The safety dance IS the greatest song. My toddlers also agree.
Drink me has written many "hilarious" notes about starting to blog...sober me can't stand blogging.
Do the writing classes the world needs more PW-Bs!

I'm with you on the Safety Dance!

Oh, drunk me and drunk friend wrote the first two pages of a sitcom once. It was set in a gym, and was going to revolve around two elderly personal trainers (played by Jasper Carrott and Ross Kemp and yes, I know Ross Kemp isn't elderly, but that seemed to make it all funnier) who were constantly being undermined by a much younger, fitter PT (who we decided would be played by "some himbo from Hollyoaks", with a note in the margin to "CHECK OUT HIMBOS").

It was going to be called We Can Work It Out, and the first episode was going to culminate in Jasper Carrott falling hilariously off a treadmill. Face it, everyone would have watched the shit out of that.

LOL
I work in comedy OP, it already sounds a lot better than most of the shite we get sent 😂

(suspiciously uses arm to block thisnamechanger from seeing and stealing my brilliant idea)

I'd totally watch that @FatherFintanFay and you could blatantly shoehorn in Will Mellor somewhere too.

Doesn't happen often but I turn into the most prolific songwriter of our generation when drunk. I cannot for obvious reasons reveal my full lyrical genius to you all for obvious reasons concerning copyright, but I leave you one tantalising line which WILL form the basis of the first album:
"And he forgot the leather coat she wore
But I remember"

@FatherFintanFay I would totally watch that. What genius!

”CHECK OUT HIMBOS

Drunk me sent a message to a WhatsApp group asking what bar they were in.

Even drunker me answered the question an hour later, not realising I was the sender of the original question.

AgentProvocateur

😂

What about recorded notes to self...? I seem to have several...

Oh god. Voice memos. Yes. Many many songs. Oh the shame. And I don’t mean covers, I mean new songs made up in the moment.

AgentProvocateur I properly snorted at that.

Drunk me and drunk DH once ordered a fridge cos ours wasn’t working ...it was
Drunk me once put a review on Tripadvisor of a place I’d never been to
Drunk me usually posts something on MN and then is alarmed the next morning when I appear on random threads

@AgentProvocateur omg I think I know you..! My friend did that once 🤣

@FatherFintanFay that sounds fucking brilliant! I’d defo watch that. Much better than my ‘comedy’

Although another note on mine was ‘welsh people can’t read the cash machines’ 🙈

Drunk me can give the Strictly professional dancers a run for their money...but only to Push It by Salt n' Pepa.
Drunk me likes to have a go on the swings. Sober me knows my bum doesn't fit.

Drunk me years ago tried to buy some postage stamps with Adolf Hitler on from eBay Germany. I found out the next day when I had an eBay message telling me my purchase had been blocked as it was not permitted to send Nazi memorabilia to the UK.

I have no explanation nor reason why drunk me wanted them.

Luckily drunk me now falls asleep after a couple of drinks cos I'm old.

@FatherFintanFay - I did get the giggles at that.

One evening many years ago, I was at my boyfriend’s flat when his alcoholic friend phoned up for a chat. She was very drunk. She was looking to rehome her pony as she couldn’t afford to keep him any longer.

Unfortunately, Drunk me answered the phone and enthusiastically offered to adopt him. Boyfriend’s friend was so relieved and grateful she almost cried.

Drunk me had no land, little money and no intention of spending hundreds of pounds a month keeping the pony at his riding stables. Drunk me thought he would be perfectly happy living in her parents’ garden and sleeping in her dad’s potting shed. Drunk me was very excited to be getting her own pony.

Sober me woke up and thought “shit!” Luckily, it appeared that Sober boyfriend’s friend had no memory of our conversation as horsie never did turn up on my parents’ doorstep.

I’m going to bed with the fucking Safety Dance in my head. Thanks!

(10 year old me totally agrees with your Best Song Ever gong. 47 year old me, less so. )

@boddtm
I missed your post when I read through earlier, just seen it now and I’m laughing like Muttley at your song lyric 😂😂

@BoswellsBollocks I could treat you to a few more snippets. These are FAR less angsty than some 🙈🤣

@BoswellsBollocks they were all very Oasis B-sides.......