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Original poster

Friend blocked me after a gift

973 replies

Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 08:51

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

OP posts:
sonjadog · 07/09/2019 14:59

I would contact mutual friend and tell her what has happened. She might be more open to talk if it turns out something similar happened with her and this friend. I would also contact her husband and see if he can explain why.

Atalune · 07/09/2019 15:02

I think it’s something totally unrelated to the gift and you. I think it’s something else that’s making her rest like this.

Speak to the mutual x friend I think.

burnttoastandjam · 07/09/2019 15:09

I would also speak to mutual friend x

Nicolamarlow1 · 07/09/2019 15:12

If your gift was about wine, are the family into winemaking themselves and maybe thought you were insulting her by inferring that other people's wines are better? Very long shot I know...?

LambChopsMcGee · 07/09/2019 15:19

Is there somehow a chance that you misunderstood her post about the wine and she actually didn't like it and was being sarcastic?!

Okurrrrrrrr · 07/09/2019 15:36

This is so sad and strange OP, I'm sorry.
As you're not on Facebook could it be you've missed something massive in her life? When was the last time before this you spoke to her and how was she then?

plunkplunkfizz · 07/09/2019 15:45

Is there a relationship between her gift and your gift that she’s taken the wrong way? You say you don’t “keep score” but that’s you and maybe she does. Perhaps if she got a gift with miniatures in it then you responded with a gift that could cover several full size wine bottles she felt you were trying to outdo her or shame her for the miniature nature of the gift.

I know when I’ve been suffering with poor mental health I’ve read far more into things and taken offence at things that wouldn’t bother me one bit when I’m well. Perhaps it’s that. If it is that, it might be worth keeping lines of communication open and trying again in a few months.

StealthPolarBear · 07/09/2019 15:52

I have nothing to suggest but would love to know

sweetiepie1979 · 07/09/2019 16:05

I wouldn’t speak to mutual friend that’s in the past and could cause more problems. I think trying to speak to the husband is all you can do or write explaining how your feeling and waiting for her to get back ..... very odd

pottedshrimps · 07/09/2019 16:08

Is she one of these over reactive, emotionally incontinent types who look for the drama? Perhaps a distant relative was once knocked down and squashed by a wine delivery lorry and she's got herself all triggered 😂

ChangeItChild · 07/09/2019 16:20

Maybe she think that her gift to you was more thoughtful? Perhaps she thinks 'I buy wine at this local shop all the time, why would Redshoes think this is a special gift?'

It's all very odd and she sounds unhinged.

Have you managed to explain your thought process behind the gift and how much effort you put in?

Aridane · 07/09/2019 16:20

Do you have aspergers or any other condition that could cause you to make social gaffes?

That’s a bit off!

chickenyhead · 07/09/2019 16:22

Maybe she has gone off wine and fancies cocktails

Forgivable · 07/09/2019 16:22

Ultimately we can all sit here with you trying to guess what her problem is but nobody is going to know. If she is choosing to behave in this way then I personally wouldn't bother.

Figgygal · 07/09/2019 16:25

Just bloody ask her what the problem is?
And then block her Wink

Dollymixture22 · 07/09/2019 16:41

Could someone have written a nasty comment on the gift card and she thinks it was from you?

BobTheFishermansWife · 07/09/2019 16:42

That's really odd behaviour op, I hope you get to the bottom of it. I second the contact her husband.

RedCrab · 07/09/2019 16:43

The inexplicable falling out with your mutual friend would ring alarm bells for me.

Sometimes, a certain a kind of person will just act with a scorched earth approach. Where they scrub out all existence of a friendship of relationship without warning and without seemingly any reason. The truth, of course, is that whatever has made the person act like this has been going on for a while and will most likely have nothing to do with you at all. That doesn’t help you when you’re left so confused and perplexed and facing the end of a friendship.

I’ve had this happen to be before - scratched out of existence by a friend I cared a lot about, a friendship that I thought was genuine and honest and good. I could make no sense of it at the time and for years, it haunted me. What had I done that was so bad? It’s almost like a power trip to the person and their irrational behaviour says a lot more about them than it does you.

I don’t know if this is actually the case with you and your friend but the irrational, out of the blue scratching you out of existence is very familiar to me. Plus the sudden mysterious ending of the friendship with the mutual friend - it could be that she has form for this.

Atlasta · 07/09/2019 16:46

Does she have a problem with alcohol?

Dollymixture22 · 07/09/2019 16:49

I had a friend who totally wrote me out of her life. I was the only person who knew she had been the Victim of a serious assault. She told me, I listened and supported for, then she decided she wanted to forget about it, and apparently that also meant she couldn’t be around me.

Still makes me very sad.

Blatherskite · 07/09/2019 16:49

How odd.

Firstly her reaction to your gift and then second, asking for her gift back!

She sent you alcohol with the cocktail making set so sending alcohol in return can't be offensive surely!?

RebootYourEngine · 07/09/2019 16:53

How strange. I would speak to her dh and your mutual friend. The friend may be a bit more open if they know what your friend has done.

bobstersmum · 07/09/2019 17:13

Annoying as it is, she's obviously got a screw loose and you are well rid.

TheSultanofPingu · 07/09/2019 17:23

Something seems to have gone amiss somewhere along the line.
There's a third party involved, the wine seller, so could the message on the card have been written incorrectly in a way that has caused offence?
She isn't a good friend if she's not prepared to listen. You must be very frustrated.

TheSultanofPingu · 07/09/2019 17:29

offense