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Original poster

Friend blocked me after a gift

973 replies

Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 08:51

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

OP posts:
ContessaLovesTheSunshine · 07/09/2019 13:32

How very weird....

Usernamealreadyexists · 07/09/2019 13:35

Could it be something totally unrelated to gift eg she has found something out?

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 13:38

No secrets between us.
I know that's a bold statement, but we confide in each other a lot.

Nothing is leaping off page.

OP posts:
Atalune · 07/09/2019 13:40

Do you think she has had some sort of mental breakdown??

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 13:41

I think I'm going to have to contact her husband.

I'm feeling very uneasy as time as worn on.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 13:42

Atalune, thats what im fearing now.

OP posts:
BlackCatSleeping · 07/09/2019 13:43

If she won’t tell you, then you have no way of knowing, so will just have to draw a line under it and move on if she doesn’t reply to your text. You know you didn’t do anything wrong. Some people take offense over the smallest thing. It’s down to them not you.

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny · 07/09/2019 13:43

You have to message the mutual friend that she's no longer speaking to.

That might give you an indication of what's going on, especially if their "falling out" was equally as bizarre

ticking · 07/09/2019 13:46

mmm. I wonder if she isn't who you think she is. I have a number of online friends (mostly from here!!) never met any of them, but am always very careful as you never know who they are until you have met/seen each other regularly.

It may be as simple as the fact she overweight or not as shes described herself. Some people live incredible fantasy lives online, which don't tally with their real lives.

I wonder if the fear of meeting you has caused this.

wildcherries · 07/09/2019 13:47

I wouldn't speak to the husband, personally. That's likely to set her off even more if she's just decided to end the friendship for whatever reason.

NellNorth · 07/09/2019 13:55

Do your gifts to her always outdo her gifts to you? She sends you a cheapo cocktail set, and you send her fancy wine? If she sends you a wool scarf, do you respond with cashmere?
I had a cousin who always insisted on getting the cheque, and it eventually really offended me, like she was making out she was the only solvent one in relationship. She was only being generous, but I got the hump. People (me) can be very touchy!

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 13:57

Ive spoken to husband before. Its not a no go area, unless he tells me it is.

The mutual friend won't talk about her. Or vice versa. I respected their privacy.

Seems stupid of me now, but I genuinely thought I'd respect them both and hopefully it would sort itself out. And I couldn't be later accused of taking sides.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 07/09/2019 13:59

I would contact the friend she fell out with and explain what has happened. Their not wanting to talk about it could be explained as not wanting you involved and you may be able to get another glimpse of the side of this woman. Is she definitely who she says she is?

CandyLeBonBon · 07/09/2019 14:02

I'd have to speak to the husband too

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 14:02

Nell we genuinely haven't kept tabs.
It equals out, im sure.

We dont inundate each other gifts, but we make an effort to give ad hoc ones. We agreed they pretty special, no matter what they are.

OP posts:
CoolLikeOvie · 07/09/2019 14:07

I think there is no way it could be about the gift, which sounds very thoughtful and normal within your relationship.

Must be something else?

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 14:14

CoolLikeOvie, Im going over everything. Everything was normal.

God, Im beginning to second guess my own judgement now. I found myself thinking....'Ah, but was it? What clues did you miss, eh?'

OP posts:
wildcherries · 07/09/2019 14:26

Ive spoken to husband before. Its not a no go area, unless he tells me it is.

Fair enough!

God, Im beginning to second guess my own judgement now. I found myself thinking....'Ah, but was it? What clues did you miss, eh?'

That's such a horrible feeling. I'm sorry this has happened to you - I'd be really upset as well.

Butterflycookie · 07/09/2019 14:36

Can you not phone her and talk to her? And you’re internet pals. Have you actually met her?

BlackCatSleeping · 07/09/2019 14:41

I knew someone who ended a friendship because she made a disparaging comment about Marie Kondo and her cardigans. It turns out the friend had had a bad experience with her MIL trying to turn her into a perfect housewife who wore nice cardigans. It was so random and such a throwaway comment, I’m sure the woman would have been utterly shocked to know that was the reason the friendship was ended. She probably didn’t even remember saying it.

BlackCatSleeping · 07/09/2019 14:42

It wasn’t a really disparaging comment by the way. Just a stupid joke about how even her cardigans are perfect. Some people have weird triggers.

PirateWeasel · 07/09/2019 14:44

All this blocking and unblocking is so childish unless there's actual abuse or stalking going on. If you haven't been able to get any sense out of her so far I'd be inclined to give up and let her get on with whatever weird sulk this is. If she ever gets over herself and reveals her reasoning then maybe you can rebuild the friendship, but I wouldn't be chasing her for an explanation.

MyOtherProfile · 07/09/2019 14:46

People are so odd. I would speak to her husband.

BuildBuildings · 07/09/2019 14:56

Does she have form for wierd behaviour? I think this fall out with a mutual friend is odd. Not many adults fall out with friends like that, you tend to drift apart. Sounds a bit childish. Speak to her husband.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 07/09/2019 14:58

What are you going to do then, OP?