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Original poster

Friend blocked me after a gift

973 replies

Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 08:51

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

OP posts:
WidowTwonky · 23/09/2019 14:30

I disagree bearhorn This whole episode was triggered by receiving a gift.

I'd avoid gifts at all costs.

Avoid the friend tbh

EdtheBear · 23/09/2019 14:48

I totally disagree about sending the books. Personalised or not some other child could benefit from reading them.

sonjadog · 23/09/2019 15:58

I would give the books to a second hand shop or sell online. Some other children with the same name will enjoy them. If you keep them around, they will serve as a reminder of all this and you will be tempted to send them.

Redglitter · 23/09/2019 16:01

Send the books if the child is expecting them but for Gods sake send her nothing else

Badolddays · 23/09/2019 16:15

If you absolutely must you could wait until
Christmas then send them as a one off present.

Kummerspeck · 23/09/2019 16:48

I really wouldn't send them @Redshoes. She has told you to fuck off and you risk looking like a real weirdo in continuing to send gifts

Soola · 23/09/2019 16:54

My husband and I have both previously sponsored children we have never met and it’s appropriate to send gifts.

Reading your posts it sounds a bit off to be sending gifts to any member of this family.

Get rid of the books, don’t have them hanging around.

There are millions of people online, you don’t need this family/woman as there seems to be an unsettling undercurrent.

LIZS · 23/09/2019 16:58

Block her and move on. You are starting to sound rather overly dependant on this "friendship" to the point of it being unhealthy for your own mh.

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 23/09/2019 17:01

I won't be doing anything at present.
I'll send around Christmas as Badolddays suggested if there has been no change in the status quo by then.

Her husband wouldn't involve himself in any drama. The more I think about, him just grunting and hanging up was because he didn't know what to say or could say.

There has never been any issues with him in the past and, indeed, we have had direct contact on numerous occasions. No alarm bells.

I hope it will resolve one way or another. She's never acted loopy before so I'm genuinely confused. And worried.

But at least I know she's enjoying her wine. Grin

OP posts:
MegaClutterSlut · 23/09/2019 17:06

Op you seriously need to take a step back. You are way overly invested in this friendship imo. You need to realise your 'friend' is a dick

Seems like your hanging around waiting incase she comes crawling back. Checking if your still blocked etc move the hell on and have higher standards. Proper friends don't treat friends like this

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 23/09/2019 17:09

LIZS I think I'm worried as to what is going on. This is so unlike her.

Whether I will ever get to know or not is a different matter, so I'll just put it to bed. Nothing else for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 23/09/2019 17:12

Mega I only get to know Im unblocked when I get a photo. I'm not blocking her at this stage in case there is something terribly wrong going on.
But I don't spend my time checking my phone for her. Too knackered for that!

OP posts:
wannabebetter · 23/09/2019 17:42

Just read full thread - very strange indeed! Is it possible that there is actually something wrong with her phone or she's accidentally changed settings in Watsapp so every time she messages you it blocks you immediately after? Did she expressly tell you to F off or was that your interpretation of the blocking? She may be sitting wondering why you're not replying to her!!

Soola · 23/09/2019 17:46

Didn’t a mutual friend say she has form for odd behaviour? If so then I wouldn’t be concerned.

Her husband hung up on you so is a united front to cease contact with you.

rosedream · 23/09/2019 19:02

I'm sorry to say but I think you've been used.

She suggested you send gifts and so you did.

Try standing back and pretending you're someone in work telling you they are sending specific gifts requested by an online friend you've never met.

I think you could be too nice and been taken advantage of. Do you think your other friend may have been taken advantage of too ?

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 23/09/2019 19:15

Soola No form for odd behaviour that I've been told of, just the strange following out with a mutual friend that I have no idea about.

I've acknowledged her DH may not have known what to say or could say to me keep harmony at home, united front and all that.

I've definitely not been taken advantage of, as she has been very generous with her gifts. Too generous, really.

I give up. I still don't know what has gone on. And I do need just to accept I may never know.

It's a bit of a mind game by looks of it, but I'm baffled as to what has prompted it. Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 23/09/2019 19:16

Falling out!

OP posts:
Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 24/09/2019 20:37

Errrm.......I've just found out whole story.
Very awkward.

But she has been forgiven.
Sort of.

I'm not happy but it explains a fair bit.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 24/09/2019 20:39

And ,no, I don't want to leave you hanging. Im just trying to get my head around it myself and just give facts of matter.

OP posts:
emzey · 24/09/2019 20:44

Um, hanging and waiting and I'm not ashamed to admit itWink

RitmoRatmo · 24/09/2019 20:48

This whole scenario is very odd. It’s really not normal of her to request you send her child (who you’ve never met) gifts. It’s not normal for you to acquiesce and spend so much of your time, money and energy sending these multiple gifts through the year over several years. It’s not normal that you’ve never actually met but that there is so much investment here. It’s also very weird behaviour from her that she’s been so harsh and unkind to you. But in return it’s also not a normal reaction for you to then continue to want to send gifts.
I’m flummoxed by the whole thing tbh.
I really think the whole thing has been unhealthy for you and I echo what PP’s have said about you blocking her, taking a permanent step back, and I’d suggest maybe some counselling could help to unpick what has happened and what hole this ‘relationship’ was filling for you and what you were getting out of it (the desire to be generous/liked/please perhaps) and how you could meet these needs in a healthier way for you going forwards.

VaggieMight · 24/09/2019 20:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

DerbyshireGirly · 24/09/2019 20:49

Don't leave us hanging Shock

doublebarrellednurse · 24/09/2019 20:49

Holding my breath here!

RitmoRatmo · 24/09/2019 20:51

Sorry, cross-posted with you there OP and just seen your update.

I’m v intrigued to know what the update is and hope you can explain a bit about what you’ve found out. I’m glad it’s hopefully answered some of your questions; that must feel a bit of a relief.

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