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Original poster

Friend blocked me after a gift

973 replies

Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 08:51

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

OP posts:
Anotherusefulname · 11/09/2019 07:20

Wow, I have just read all of this and it is very odd.
Surely the long and short of it is like mumsnet HQs standard answer to begging threads to paraphrase "folks aren't always who they say they are, don't give anything you can't afford to lose etc"
You have never met this woman she isn't a real friend just like nobody on here is a real friend. We all pretend online, even if we don't think we do. Just move on.

Pinkarsedfly · 11/09/2019 08:15

I think this is a huge reminder that you never know who you’re talking to on the internet.

Put it behind you as a lucky escape. People have made batshit online friends and come off much, much worse.

Fuck her off, have your busy day, and be grateful you don’t have whatever demons she has living in your head.

Flowers
Ginkypig · 22/09/2019 12:37

I came back to this after a break hoping you may have found out what was going on but I see you are no further forward red.

I'm sorry red you must be feeling really hurt. You'll just have to move on for your own sake.

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 22/09/2019 19:28

Thanks Ginkypig, for thinking.

There are updates, but so trivial, It wasnt worth it. And I didnt want to get into .....' we are waiting with baited breath for next installment'.

I

OP posts:
Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 22/09/2019 19:30

Damn...

I appreciate everyone's input.

But I'm no further forward.
Other than.....

She unblocks me to show a new wine and says thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 22/09/2019 19:33

Then I'm blocked again.

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 22/09/2019 19:56

How bizarre! Confused

Bouffalant · 22/09/2019 20:01

Wtf. This is so bizarre.

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 22/09/2019 21:01

It is bizarre.

But I've stepped back.

I'll be here if she needs me, but i will want an explanation.

OP posts:
FluffyCloudsInTheSky · 22/09/2019 22:18

Bizarre!

JohnnyHallidayVitToujours · 22/09/2019 22:31

I would block her now then she can't play games with you any more.

Ihatesundays · 22/09/2019 22:42

I made a friend in my early 20s. It became very intense fairly quickly, spending all our time together.
We had another friend and I saw her fall out with her over nothing. Literally nothing, and she basically never spoke to her again.
She then did it to me. She had long term friend from school who had basically told me I wouldn’t last and I was part of a long line of ‘new best friends’.
Turns out she was bi-polar and was part of her manic behaviour.

Frazzledmummy123 · 22/09/2019 23:11

You are very patient to say you are going to be there if she needs you. She sounds completely twisted and a total nutter.

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 22/09/2019 23:45

She may be at present, but I'm currently more worried about her than upset.

But I have no option to wait it out.
I have 2 gifts to send to her and her child this week. They were bought before all this happened.

Im going to send them. And see what happens. Add in my usual letter to DC, but just a brief card to friend.

And see how that pans out. Hmm

OP posts:
hooowl · 22/09/2019 23:49

Do you really think more presents are the best idea at the moment, op?

hooowl · 22/09/2019 23:50

(That wasn't supposed to sound arsey!)

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 22/09/2019 23:55

That's ok, hooowl, but the main gift is for the child and the other gift is either way.
She knows I have it, so I want to send it and leave the door open.

It may be huge mistake, but I'm hoping I know one way or another by reaction.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 22/09/2019 23:58

Ive bought set of 3 books for DC and idea was to send one a month.

Friend knows this.

OP posts:
pallisers · 23/09/2019 00:07

Don't send any more presents to anyone in her family
Don't send back her present to you.
Don't send any more messages or anything.
Don't expect an explanation - you may never get one.

If she is having a breakdown she will contact you eventually to say "sorry about that". If she isn''t then she really isn't worth this level of drama.

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 23/09/2019 00:17

pallisers the kid knows to expect an unexpected present here and there. That's the joy in it.

No regularity. Just here and there.

If I don't send something soon and mum is going off the wall, its not fair, is it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 23/09/2019 00:19

I know that sounds a juxtaposition, but I mean I send regular presents irregularly.

OP posts:
Mothership4two · 23/09/2019 00:52

Personally wouldn't send any more presents to her or her child. I would just leave it as they (her and her husband) obviously think you have done or said something that has caused offence. They are making it very obvious they want no further contact. I would try to not check her account or whether she has unblocked/blocked you. Try and forget about it, if possible.

Her behaviour is odd, but unless she explains, there is not a lot you can do. We are all as mystifyed as you! No breakthroughs here! It doesn't sound as though you did anything wrong. Put your energies into friends that deserve your time and attention.

Maybe in the future you could mention it to mutual friend? She may say that same thing happened to her and she has a history of this.

I know it's upsetting when friendships end. Flowers

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 23/09/2019 01:08

I hate this. It lingers in my mind, no matter what im doing.

I have to send the books. I had name printed.

Best i just send all 3 at once and the extra.

Its got very awkward.

OP posts:
Mothership4two · 23/09/2019 02:44

If they are personalised then you might as well (although I wouldnt). You could put in a note "I have obviously upset you but have no idea what I have done, please can you let me know so I can move on/rectify..." She may respond, but given that she must know you are in the dark, it's not likely.

Friendship endings are painful

sofato5miles · 23/09/2019 03:23

God, I would not send another thing.