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Original poster

Friend blocked me after a gift

973 replies

Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 08:51

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

OP posts:
Lobsterquadrille2 · 09/09/2019 17:57

I've read the whole thread without having anything additional to say, but I too find it weird that a MN thread would have so many posters who claim not to understand that close friendships can be formed online. I have several that I have made from this site - never met but have spoken on the phone, emailed, sent cards etc. It's not a generational issue - up until his death, my 93 year old father had an online Bridge circle with people all over the world.

LucyAutumn · 09/09/2019 18:21

OP she sounds batshit and the way she's treated you is unforgivable. So sorry you've been treated this way. I'd be opening that gift and then sending it back used Gin

Everydayishistorytomorrow · 09/09/2019 19:01

Send a concise note she can read at a glance. Didn't you like me gift /birthday gift?

This way even if she doesn't want to read anything from you most of us can read a whole line if text without trying. She may think 'what gift' and start searching or at least ask you some questions. If it was sent by email the spelling could be incorrect. I've lost count at the times people have done this with me. It could be a simple misunderstanding. However she has now shown you a side of her you probabaly haven't seen. This may impact your idea of what you thought the friendship was. Is she who you thought she was?

FluffyCloudsInTheSky · 09/09/2019 19:13

OP so many of us are over-invested in this. For what it's worth I think you sounds lovely. She sounds odd

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 09/09/2019 19:13

The reaction of her DH to your phone call makes me think that over the years he has had a lot of contact from puzzled and upset ex-friends and experience has taught him to not get involved, and that's why he just hangs up. I would just let it go, maybe you will find out why, maybe you won't but either way this friendship is over. Mourn it and move on, but don't give it endless headspace, you probably have more interesting things to think about.

Ash39 · 09/09/2019 19:31

Regardless of the recent chat on this thread re "online friendships are less meaningful than real life"... maybe they are, maybe they aren't... but
Regardless! It's much easier to confront a person, or check up on them, (and generally get the measure of them) if they only live down the road or round the corner.

No one is trying to belittle that type of friendship, but it is harder to work out when things go wrong

Delatron · 09/09/2019 19:51

Sure you can make virtual friends but they don’t compare to spending time with people in person. Now I don’t have any online friends so I do struggle to understand this whole scenario (especially sending gifts every month, why?) but I guess lots of people do.

I don’t think you can truly know someone until you’ve spent lots of time with them in person. Seen them at their worst and their best. I could assume any persona online. Quite easy to type away and hide behind a keyboard. I’m guessing this is what happened here. You don’t really know her and in real life she’s a bit of a fruit loop.

Aragog · 09/09/2019 19:59

How do you have contact with the child to help them with their homework? That’s hard to do if they are overseas.

OP says it is help with projects type homework, so probably very easy to do - via email or messaging, or possibly FaceTime type app.
Typed answers to questions, links to a web page, pictures, etc.

All very easy to do. Some children are taught through online schooling so it is all very possible to do, even in a lot of detail. I find a lot of 7y are very good tech-wise.

AMAM8916 · 09/09/2019 20:21

My theory is she got the voucher, bought 10 bottles of wine and is currently on a wild rampage F'ing and blinding at random strangers and people she has on WhatsApp 🤷‍♀️

Motoko · 09/09/2019 21:40

@Everydayishistorytomorrow she's used the gift voucher! It didn't go missing.

Frazzledmummy123 · 09/09/2019 22:23

This is so bizarre! I agree with everyone who has said she either has a personality disorder (the fall out with mutual friend and fact she can't hold on to friends could back this up), or there's a possibility the girl's husband might have something to do with it (eg: jealous and controlling). Either way, no hurt or offense caused by a gift would or should cause this level of drama, and the best thing you can do now is move on and accept she wasn't the person you thought she was.

I know you disagree however I think you should approach the mutual friend as you might get some insightful information about her. If the mutual friend doesn't want to discuss it then fair enough but I'd ask anyway just to give you closure. If you get knowledge about your ex friends past it might make you feel better to hear it from someone else that this girl has issues.

Stop all contact with the fruitloop, sounds very much like attention seeking. Don't every contact her again and that will fix her. Also, why would you be willing to still help her 7 year old with homework? Stay well clear of all of them.

browneyes77 · 09/09/2019 22:39

I know you disagree however I think you should approach the mutual friend as you might get some insightful information about her. If the mutual friend doesn't want to discuss it then fair enough but I'd ask anyway just to give you closure. If you get knowledge about your ex friends past it might make you feel better to hear it from someone else that this girl has issues.

Exactly what I think.

Nothing to lose at this point by asking!

Ridiclious · 09/09/2019 22:50

She's cashed your gift card so I wouldn't waste more money sending back her recent gift. You'd surely be a mug for doing that? What would be the benefit to you? The friendship is over. Toast your once lovely friendship with a few cocktails and block her so she can never unblock you again. Move on. Move along.

BrownStripePJ · 09/09/2019 23:35

It might be something to do with the witty note on the gift card!?!?!

torthecatlady · 09/09/2019 23:52

@PotterHead1985 I know the feeling. I found myself grieving a friendship in pretty much the exact same circumstances, but without explanation. I guess people have their own stuff going on, i always try to leave the door open, but who knows?

BlackCatSleeping · 10/09/2019 00:14

I think this is more likely to be about the gift the friend sent the OP. Maybe the OP said something either to the friend or a mutual friend that was misinterpreted and caused upset. Hence the friend asking for the gift back.

Monty27 · 10/09/2019 06:45

So you ordered alcohol as a gift and she has taken umbrage.
Is that right?
You're going to have to say what her gift to you was that she wants back.
Well you don't have to but I for one cannot make sense of it.
A cruel misunderstanding maybe. Confused

Cannyhandleit · 10/09/2019 06:57

@Monty27 she did. It was a cocktail making kit.

Juog · 10/09/2019 07:16

Omg,you have to let this go,it's not you so don't blame yourself or look for answers, it's her,it's very obvious she has done this before, there is no reason behind it apart from she might be an alcoholic, make yourself feel better, tell her to sod off and send a picture of you enjoying the present she sent you.

KindKoala · 10/09/2019 07:32

I can’t see how you’re to blame at all OP. For your sake, I think you just have to walk away, however sad it’ll make you feel.

CandyLeBonBon · 10/09/2019 07:34

@Lobsterquadrille2 the friend has already sent a pic of her enjoying the gift so she knows what it is and has cashed in the gift card

wowfudge · 10/09/2019 07:37

Candy I thought the wine place told the OP the voucher had been used. The picture enjoying the wine was what prompted the OP to get the gift.

MyOtherProfile · 10/09/2019 07:41

The ex friend unblocked op long enough to send a pic of her enjoying the gift then reblocked her, didn't she?

WeeDangerousSpike · 10/09/2019 07:42

Yes wow but OP has since been unblocked so she can see weird friend enjoying the gift card wine, then blocked again.

It defies all rational explanation Confused

MyOtherProfile · 10/09/2019 07:46

Yes.

Friend blocked me after a gift
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