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Original poster

Friend blocked me after a gift

973 replies

Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 08:51

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

OP posts:
MutedUser · 09/09/2019 05:17

I’m not sure either her or her husband want you to help their child with his projects. That couldn’t be more obvious. I actually think it’s really weird that you would think you would have any relationship with a 7 year old if his parents clearly want nothing to do with you.

MyOtherProfile · 09/09/2019 05:35

OP I do feel for you. I've had a couple of online friends I've got really close to in the past and one in particular went very odd. I do see how you can get really close to someone without physically meeting them - it builds up over years.

I would drink the cocktails and toast the memory of your friendship then move on and focus on other friends.

Whenaretheholidaysover · 09/09/2019 05:47

How do you have contact with the child to help them with their homework? That’s hard to do if they are overseas.

Instatwat · 09/09/2019 06:19

I’m so beyond over-invested in this.

Lovebeingmama · 09/09/2019 06:26

Sometimes you have to let it go and move on. It’s frustrating when it’s unfair and you want to sort out the problem, but haven’t a clue what the problem is!
I’ve had this happen with one friendship and one relationship. In the end I realised that I may never understand. However, both had ‘form’ - doing similar in the past. Forgot about your friend - looks like it’s definately her and not you. I’d want to speak to your other friend just to help get closure in your own mind. Tell her your story and how (hopefully) she can help you understand.
Then learn the lesson and block her.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 09/09/2019 06:39

I worked with someone who had lots of “friends” overseas. They were people she “met” through sci-fi forums and would travel alone to conventions in random places like Utah.

She was a bit odd and very strange in real life with her colleagues, could be lovely one minute, rude and nasty the next.

Maybe she has a personality disorder hence her friendships being online. 🤷‍♀️

cordeliavorkosigan · 09/09/2019 06:54

She’s probably just batshit. But is she a Facebook user and you’re not? Could a hacker be pretending to be you on fb? My mum’s fb was hacked once and it sent me an invitation to something my mum would never ever be into, from her account.
Still, sounds like she’s bonkers but just a thought.

Bubsworth · 09/09/2019 07:03

Any updates OP? Wine

Baker1979 · 09/09/2019 07:25

Likewise @Thereisasystem - thank you for your genius suggestions aimed at me. Let it go!

LittleMissMe99 · 09/09/2019 07:40

I imagine it has nothing to do with the gift. Just move on. If someone is that petty that they can't offer an explanation. Then they're clearly not worth it.

Moaningmeadowlark · 09/09/2019 07:54

I haven't really got anything to add, but just wanted to say sorry this is happening to you OP.

EleanorReally · 09/09/2019 08:01

I think perhaps she felt unnerved because you knew what wine it was she was drinking?

EleanorReally · 09/09/2019 08:02

how does blocking on whatsapp work?

Sparklypurpleunicornsaremyfav · 09/09/2019 08:16

I'd be pretty pissed off by thi point so would want to do something petty.
She unblocked you just so you could see her drinking the wine she bought with your gift card, as soon as she knew you'd seen it she blocked you again.
Not sure what she's blocked you on but could you use your husbands email or account on whatever and send her a pic of you drinking the cocktails and say something along the lines of I know you wanted this back but since you used my gift thought it was only fair I enjoyed yours... Cheers!!!
Maybe also put, you don't understand what's happened or why but if you won't talk to me like a grown up then this is how it's going to be

MzHz · 09/09/2019 08:24

You need to remove the drama - block her and delete her number

She’s awful and it’s her, not you who is in the wrong

W0rriedMum · 09/09/2019 08:33

An online relationship is like a child's imaginary friend. You share so much, you can be as supporting as you like on your time.. Some will last the test of a meet-up, others not.
But sadly none of that comes close to the chemistry of real friendship: the time someone dropped everything to help, the other times when they left you waiting 30 mins in the park.. Grin
OP - just chalk it up to experience and move on! Develop local real relationships instead with other parents, the woman from yoga class, the neighbours down the road.. Even if it's just the odd coffee, these are the relationships to develop.

ellyeth · 09/09/2019 08:35

Even if she hasn't received it, or there was some other reason why she was disappointed, her reaction seems completely over the top. It She appears to be extremely offended.

You need to contact her, say exactly what you sent (and you were under the impression that she wanted this item)and when you sent it, and ask how you have upset her so much.

Obivously, something has happened that you are not aware of so you need to ask directly.

Rivkka · 09/09/2019 08:36

Nah. She's too much graft

Block her if she unblocks you and forget her

Motoko · 09/09/2019 08:39

How do you have contact with the child to help them with their homework? That’s hard to do if they are overseas.

It's really not difficult work out how, with the invention of apps like Skype. People can even have tuition over the internet.

Whenaretheholidaysover · 09/09/2019 08:43

Fair enough, yes it’s possible but I’m a teacher and would find it hard to help a 7 year old by Skype but more than that, it’s very odd. Why?

Funguy · 09/09/2019 08:44

How bizarre. I suggest this is not related to the gift but something else.
Or maybe the gift was of of relative value!
Either way that is horrible.

cazzaG · 09/09/2019 09:07

Grin 😂

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 09/09/2019 09:10

They both sound weird and not very pleasant, and it would certainly be strange for you to help their child after all this.

Block, draw a mental line under them all, and move on. Oh, and drink the cocktails!

miniaturelocomotive · 09/09/2019 09:12

Is it possible that she's sent you a letter or an email that you haven't received, which could have been telling you a major piece of news? Maybe she thinks you've completely ignored it, when in fact you haven't received it.

Have you tried sending her a text message rather than a message on WhatsApp? If you haven't, maybe do this and get right to the point about not knowing what you've done wrong, how you're sorry if you've done something to upset her but please could she explain what's happened so you can understand and explain if necessary as it could all be due to a misunderstanding.

MyOtherProfile · 09/09/2019 09:13

I’m a teacher and would find it hard to help a 7 year old by Skype but more than that, it’s very odd.

Really? You know thousands of children around UK and the rest of the world are taught by Skype for various reasons? I'm an advisory teacher and there has been an attempt to move more of our work to online so we do what we do via Skype to minimise travel time and costs. Check out virtual schools.