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Original poster

Friend blocked me after a gift

973 replies

Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 08:51

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

OP posts:
JealousOrFair · 08/09/2019 21:10

I keep coming back to check if this all turned out to be a prank by OPs friend !

Ohfuckinghellwhatnow · 08/09/2019 21:20

Batshit bonkers. Tell her you'll send it back if she refunds yours!!

Thereisasystem · 08/09/2019 21:20

Baker if you haven't got time to RTFT then perhaps don't just plunge in on page 23 with your unique suggestions.

FadingStar · 08/09/2019 21:21

I think the gift card is a red herring...she couldn't have been upset with it as she used it. Is there any way she could have heard something that she didn't like or someone whispered into her ear about you?

AlmostAJillSandwich · 08/09/2019 21:27

How annoying, similar when you ask someone whats wrong and they give you the "you know what you did" line, no, clearly, i don't!

Onebabygirl · 08/09/2019 21:28

Did she use the full value of the voucher? If there is a balance remaining could you cancel it and explain to the winery why, just so she doesn’t benefit from your generosity any more?

Toomuchtrouble4me · 08/09/2019 21:28

Have you told mutual friend what’s happening?
I know you should leave it but if it were me I’d just HAVE to know!

wheresthehope · 08/09/2019 21:31

I would befriend her former friend and take pics of the both of you enjoying the cocktails and send off to old friend then tell her to take her pathetic shitty self elsewhere! oh and include a big EFF OFF just for good measure Grin

Sarahandco · 08/09/2019 21:34

No mutual friends. Had one, but they fell out a few years ago.
Never found out what that about. They refuse to talk about each other and I just accepted that as their choice

She didn't like her gift

VividImagination · 08/09/2019 21:39

Had she spent the voucher when she first messaged and blocked you? I wonder if the bloke you dealt with at the wine place has said something to her that she thinks has come from you. I presume you told him how you came up with the details of the wine and somewhere in between your story and his story something has been said to upset her.

DonnaLee8 · 08/09/2019 21:40

I'm so sorry to hear your "friend" is being so hurtful. From her husband's reaction, she is clearly lying to him about you from which one can only assume she is a very "troubled" (trying to keep it polite 😉) woman.
It's no wonder the whole scenario is driving you to distraction, there is no sense to any of it whatsoever.

You do realise why she is continuously blocking then unblocking you, don't you?
It's an Internet version of a power trip/throwing a strop. VERY juvenile (again keeping it polite 😉).
She blocks you so if you want to contact her, you can't.
Then she unblocks you to see if you are still trying to contact her. She looks - if she sees something there from you, she feels smug that you're still bothered enough to try and make contact. Then she blocks you again. And on it goes.

So, as hard as it will be, stop any more contact with her. Don't feed her ego.
You could always leave the door open by not blocking her, but send no more emails or texts, and make no more phone calls to her or her husband.
If she doesn't come to her senses and contact you to apologise, she never deserved your friendship in the first place, in which case try to look at it as a lucky escape - friends don't treat each other the way she has treated you.
You deserve better.

Shortfeet · 08/09/2019 21:44

Drink the gift now, before you change your mind

ktp100 · 08/09/2019 21:44

I hate to say it but I really think you're best off getting rid. Nobody needs that unnecessary drama in their life. I'd be blocking her & her rude ass husband for good.

CheesecakeAddict · 08/09/2019 21:52

This is all very bizarre. I know you said there was not much time between her sending the last gift and all this drama, but did you say anything at all that could be skewed?
Honestly, I would speak to the friend about it when she gets off her holiday. Maybe the pen friend is just off her rocker and you are well rid.

TixieLix · 08/09/2019 22:03

Another couple of suggestions (also randomly clutching at straws):

  1. She has some sort of disorder for which she takes meds and she's stopped taking the meds suddenly causing some sort of personality crisis.
  2. You say most often she outdoes you in the gift stakes. It sounds as though your latest gift was very thoughtful and probably worth more than her DIY cocktail set. Perhaps she was offended that you outdid her and she can't cope with being outshone.

I doubt either of those is the reason but it's so hard to think of why she could have behaved in a way that is equal measures of crazy, nasty and hurtful.

CuriousMama · 08/09/2019 22:12

How bizarre. But I agree she has something wrong with her personality.

I really feel for you though, you sound caring and generous. It can come as a shock to find people you thought were nice aren't.

Deminism · 08/09/2019 22:17

I had a friend who told me and a few others (we all met when kids started school) that she never manages to hold on to friendships and we were all a bit like oh really but you are lovely what a surprise. Well she has BPD and was having a good period but she did manage to alienate anyone when she had a relapse. (That sounds awful - we would not have deserted her in hour of need, she got paranoid and gradually blocked us all. Her kids left the school. There was no way to resume contact).

Hotpinkangel19 · 08/09/2019 22:18

How strange! Placemarking just in case you get a reason for the batshit behaviour!

Nofucksleft · 08/09/2019 22:21

Very strange

spina · 08/09/2019 22:25

I have read all 24 pages! Most bizarre behaviour. I’m sorry to hear that it has messed up your weekend. It would bother me too, OP. 💐

OmegaAlpha · 08/09/2019 22:35

I think the clue is in her initial post, saying ‘a real find’. The winery was her find. By tracking it down and sending her a gift card to ‘her find’, you stole her thunder and maybe took some of her pleasure away from it being her place. Like you were usurping her, or treading on her toes. Maybe you have done similar in past, innocently of course, and this was the final straw? Just guessing. I wouldn’t think this, but I can see how someone might if there was history of such behaviour.

MrsRufusdog789 · 08/09/2019 22:37

I think perhaps you pal is a lush .

MrsBadcrumble123 · 08/09/2019 22:44

I had a best friend for 8 years, she moved with her husband (admittedly he did control her somewhat) to Dorset. Got dropped like a lead balloon - weirdly still sent birthday cards, Christmas cards, commented on each other’s FB posts until last year when she visited where we live for her 40th had a meal with mutual friends but didn’t invite us - so I thought you can truly fuck off then as I have done nothing to deserve this and ceased all contact including postal! Nowt queer as folk as they say!

gilliansgardenbench · 08/09/2019 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morrisseysquif · 08/09/2019 22:52

Your friend is rude and so is her husband.

She clearly enjoys confounding you with the ridiculous blocking and unblocking and that alone makes her not a person worth knowing.

You block her, move on and show some self respect. You wouldn't take this shit from a partner, (I hope) then don't take t from a so called 'friend' .