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Original poster

Friend blocked me after a gift

973 replies

Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 08:51

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

OP posts:
Needthesunshine · 08/09/2019 20:00

No way should you go to the expense of returning her gift after how she has treated you. Use it, re-gift it or bin it and move on.

swearychild · 08/09/2019 20:00

I hope you find out why she's behaved so oddly! Although you are most definitely better off rid of her

Allthebears · 08/09/2019 20:01

Could you have said something to her her child that she has taken offence to?

Not suggesting you have, but her reaction is so strong that it could be that. Perhaps she feels jealous of your help or the child took something you said out of context and repeated it to her mum - i.e Chinese whispers.

People often react very strongly when they perceive a threat, real or otherwise towards their kids.

shellysheridan · 08/09/2019 20:04

Op, I may have misunderstood but I remember and did u say to her 'I could do with a phone like yours?'
Could she be annoyed that it could come across as you fishing for a new phone as a present?

IamAporcupine · 08/09/2019 20:13

This is so weird, I would feel just like you!
I totally get the type of relationship you had - please do not spend time/energy trying to explain why you have sent each other presents if you've never met, etc etc

The whole situation is so so crazy that the only explanation I can think of is that there is something not quite right about her (as a pp said, maybe more serious MH issues?). Has she ever said why 'she cannot keep friendships'?

MarshaMars · 08/09/2019 20:16

I wonder if she’s a narcissist. I’ve known my MIL for 22 years. She’s a total fruit loop. Actually she’s a narcissist and quite damaging. She has intense friendships for a few years and those friends are just like “family” 🙄 (her words). For some unknown reason, at some random time, she will drop each friend like a hot potato and is for some unknown reason mortally offended by them. Seriously, I’ve watched it happen many times.

We even sit through family dinners and someone at one end of the table will make a joke about something and she will decide it’s been said against her. Last time she burst into tears!! Because she thought someone (her DS) was comparing her to Donald Trump. I heard the whole joke, it had zero to do with MIL at all.

She’s just bloody weird. I’m as LC as possible. She always needs to be the centre of the universe and love bombs people before dumping them for a perceived crime they don’t know they committed.

You’re much better off without your previous “friend” in your life 💐

Baker1979 · 08/09/2019 20:21

Stop wasting your time asking a bunch of strangers what’s up and go contact her husband or the mutual friend, then put us all out of our misery!! :)

burnttoastandjam · 08/09/2019 20:26

@Baker1979 RTFT.

She did call the husband, he hung up

Gwlondon · 08/09/2019 20:27

Baker1979 up the thread OP rang the husband and he hung up.

Gwlondon · 08/09/2019 20:27

Lol

Thereisasystem · 08/09/2019 20:29

Baker brilliant insightful bit if advice there...Hmm

S1naidSucks · 08/09/2019 20:32

I think you said there was some sort of technical difficulty with gift card, didn’t you OP? Maybe I’ve misremembered. Is it possible there was some problem with her redeeming it and she thought you’d played some sort of prank on her. Maybe the photo she was her way of saying ‘screw you, I bought the wine anyway’. I’m just guessing here.

Or maybe she just a bloody drama lama and likes to create problems to get her husband’s sympathy.

LadyHamilton41 · 08/09/2019 20:32

I'm afraid I suspect she has some sort of personality disorder, and she probably has form in this area. It'll all be about the drama. This behaviour is designed to make you feel bad, question yourself and your actions, and the worst thing you can do is escalate it by messaging her, and calling. She keeps unblocking you to check if you've messaged, and that's because she desperately wants you to feed the situation. Best course of action is simply ignore her. If you want to give this relationship a chance, leave her unblocked but take no further action and don't return her gift, that would be giving her the attention she wants. If not, block her and forget about it.

Ironmanrocks · 08/09/2019 20:35

Maybe she gave the gift card to someone else if she was so offended. And then that person was very happy with the wine? Just a thought in this very confusing story. I also wonder if the wrong message was written onto the card. Did they handwrite it? And spell it correctly? Can you check with the man? It's the only logical thing I can think of...

PaddingtonBearHardStare · 08/09/2019 20:42

No point in photos, Im blocked.

That's why I suggested using someone else's email address!

ChangeItChild · 08/09/2019 20:45

On second thought.

Just return the gift, don't contact her again or any member of her family. Block her, block them all. Anything you do or say will feed her need for drama. She's a weird one and you're well rid.

"There's nowt so queer as folk."

browneyes77 · 08/09/2019 20:52

I absolutely would not return the gift. Fuck her!

You do not ask for gifts to be returned, hence why they’re called a gift!

She’s happily accepted your gift and hasn’t offered to send that back, so why on earth should you send yours back?

Bollocks to her. Keep the gift and use it yourself or give it to someone else. But don’t go to the expense of sending it back to someone who sounds and is behaving like, a massive knob.

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 08/09/2019 20:52

For clarification, gift went through fine. All ok there. Confirmed by winery.

My joke about 'phone like hers ' was a joke to her husband shelly, trying to keep mood light.

OP posts:
StudentHelp · 08/09/2019 20:57

She sounds unwell

Baker1979 · 08/09/2019 20:58

Thanks for setting me straight you lovely people :) Didn’t have time to read all 23 pages as was putting my toddlers to bed. So now what’s happening?

MegaClutterSlut · 08/09/2019 21:04

I absolutely would not return her gift! especially after she used yours and posted pictures the cheeky bitch enjoy the cocktail op 🍹
Real friends would never treat you like that

Motoko · 08/09/2019 21:05

FFS, I do wish people would RTFT before asking questions that have already been answered.

There is no way I'd return her gift, it would be a waste of my time and money, and she's shown she's not worth that. If you no longer want it, send it to the charity shop, or ask your friends if anyone wants it.

redexpat · 08/09/2019 21:06

I think you need to accept that you wont ever get to the bottom of this very odd turn of events. So chalk it up to experience, move on, and try not to dwell on it anymore. Easier said than done I know.

Motoko · 08/09/2019 21:08

Just read the OPs posts to catch up. No need to read the full 23 pages, but it's good manners to read OP's posts, so she doesn't have to keep repeating herself.

360eyes · 08/09/2019 21:08

Send her a fruitcake and a bags of nuts (early christmas present? 🤔)

She sounds like someone who habitually falls out with people. I'd avoid if I were you. How come you've never met in the flesh?