Friend blocked me after a gift

[Redshoesandtheblues]

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

Sorry OP

I've just come across this thread and can't help wondering why she spent her voucher but expects you to return her present!! I would use it and send her a photo of you enjoying it from another email address!

Block her. NEVER unblock her.
Move on.

People who treat you like this aren't worth the drama and hassle.

My yourself gifts.

I wouldn’t do anything in retaliation (like sending her a photo as mentioned previously) as tempting as it is. Just bow out gracefully. Retreat and look after yourself.

paddington, im two minds about using the gift.
Im veering towards sending it back, despite the postage.

No point in photos, Im blocked.

Read your updates op. What a headfuck!

Give the gift to someone else. It won’t give you any joy in using it anyway. But sending it back just keeps the communication open for longer. Being long distance friends gives you the opportunity to go no-contact easily, and I’d do that as soon as possible. From now in fact x

I would imagine she is a user- she has found herself a new bff and you are now surplus to requirement. She seems the type to use people to get what she can out of them, then when she finds someone else to fill the role she drops the other one. My guess is her 7yo needs a math tutor so she has found someone else to fill your role! Are you both still on the same forum? Would it be worthwhile sending her a private message on the forum?

How did the gift thing start if you’ve never met each other?

Did you have plans to meet each other? I’m so confused!

For those not understanding a long distance friendship where you've never met - it's definitely possible and perfectly normal in my life! I've a group of online friends and we are deeply connected and share things we dont share with others.

Just because you've never experienced something it doesn't mean if cant happen

So sorry you're going through this OP. I'm thinking a chat with the mutual friend might clear it up. I suspect this happened with her. If I were in your shoes I'd be hurt and upset as well.

drop her, shes not a friend

If the friend was not into OP then she'd have just ghosted her or gradually cut contact. And if she were just a user then she'd have kept up the nice guy act as she's receiving presents and would have continued to do so.
Something has made her flip.

I reckon she's affronted because it's a gift card and she thinks it's impersonal but, honestly, with all the infantile blocking and unblocking and refusing to explain, just fuck it: you surely don't need this drama in your life.

*this...Her life is likely littered with relationships that ended abruptly when offence was taken at a perceived slight.

That has triggered something. She did say she cant keep friends.*

This times a million.

OP, don't send the gift back - as you say, it is going to cost alot in postage. Why are you willing to spend more money on this person?

Just message her:

Why did you block me? What have I done wrong? I thought you would like the gift, I spent ages researching it.... (genuinely baffled).

That should flush out what has gone awry.

Bold fail.

I think you should cash in your gift voucher. Tell her you will post it to her if she sends money for postage. I doubt she sent it all the way from the USA. It's painful but you just have to accept it as you know you did nothing wrong. Your intentions were pure.

Still post photos though! She will unblock you at some point and see them

I am sorry but once give you cannot ask for a gift back. She has used yours so you are well within your rights to keep it. If you don't want it, sell it and give the money to a charity in her name. (If it's something you can do that with)

ketoWithIf

I am sorry you going through this. People are just strange, unfortunately we can't change this, my advice would be to send the gift back with a note to say you have no idea what's happened to make her act like this but you respect her wishes and won't contact her again, then move on, it's her loss as you sound like a lovely friend x

Drink it, send back empties, wait till she unblocks you to complain, block her.

Don’t give her back the gift when she’s used yours!