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Original poster

Friend blocked me after a gift

973 replies

Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 08:51

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 08/09/2019 18:23

cricketmum that was suggested the other day, and I thought....oh, thats mean.

I can tell there is a shift in my way of thinking, because im now thinking......good idea!!!

OP posts:
Daaps · 08/09/2019 18:26

She may just be one of those people who have very intense but short lived friendships. I bet she has a new online buddy who she is confiding in about whatever it is she thinks you have done. Some people have a very black/white friend/enemy view of the world. Perhaps you were the favourite and you’ve been toppled by someone new so now you are the enemy. People are bonkers

Bluntness100 · 08/09/2019 18:27

Op, she's blocking you. The husband hung up on you. Clearly there is a major problem but these people don't want you in their lives for some reason.

I think you need to just accept that.

Babysharkdododododododododod · 08/09/2019 18:29

Sending you a big hug, this kind of thing would stress me out so much.

I too stopped speaking to a close friend of 13 years. She treated me terribly and I had had enough, but as vile as she was I made sure she knew exactly what she had done to me.

All of this just doesn’t make any sense. Make yourself a cocktail and enjoy it! Stay dignified and move on xx

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 08/09/2019 18:30

RantyPants good summary, but husband always odd on phone.
No offense taken by him for that. I didn't splurge too much but nothing in return anyway.

OP posts:
Jeeperscreepers69 · 08/09/2019 18:30

Was the gift card for a holiday onboard the swingers cruise?

visitorthedog · 08/09/2019 18:33

I bet she has form for this and the husband hung up on you as you’re one in a line and he can’t be doing with the drama. Not nice but?

fib88 · 08/09/2019 18:34

Well for starters you’re not really friends are you? It might help us if you tell us exactly what she bought you and what you gave her - maybe she felt insulted. It’s hard to judge when we don’t know items or value (although that shouldn’t be a reason, but sadly it probably is ) my friend wrapped up an “old” bit of £3 “tat” for my birthday once and I was very offended but I never said anything apart from thank you very much. I recently bought her pink champagne and a glorious bunch of flowers fir her 50th and I never even got a proper thank you! We are still friends but I know she’s a fake friend and leave it at that. I don’t reduce myself to her level.

StrangeLookingParasite · 08/09/2019 18:36

It might help us if you tell us exactly what she bought you and what you gave her

It might help you if you read the thread.

Beautiful3 · 08/09/2019 18:37

Wow her husband hung up on you? You need to leave it now. You haven't done anything wrong at all. Withdraw.

gilliansgardenbench · 08/09/2019 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummyofcutetwo · 08/09/2019 18:40

What Beautiful3 said ☝🏻

gilliansgardenbench · 08/09/2019 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UmmH · 08/09/2019 18:41

I had a friend who had such a kind and generous nature. She used to give big presents and go out of her way to help people. BUT she also had a paranoid personality disorder. I watched helplessly as she exploded on all of her partners who, incidentally, were all old friends of mine whom she'd met through me. She used to rave about things they'd supposedly done to her, and nothing I could say would persuade her she was wrong. Her friendship with me lasted as long as it did only because I have a long fuse, but eventually and inevitably she exploded on me too and I decided to have no further contact.

OP, you should do that too, even if she apologises and explains. Look how much this has upset you. You don't need such an emotional disturbance in your life from an online friend miles away.

saraclara · 08/09/2019 18:42

Yep. At this stage I'd assume that there's nothing to be lost, and contact the other friend about it. I wouldn't be able to let it go by myself. At least sharing what happened might help.

And I totally get the online friendship thing. It does make it harder to reconcile things though, because people can just disappear far more effectively than if they live down the road.

GabsAlot · 08/09/2019 18:42

Did you say mutual friend said dont even go there-or did i misread-i think she obviously does this to all her friends in the end sounds like a cmpulsive liar

heveranne · 08/09/2019 18:46

You need to write this off and move on. You've never met her in real life. Whatever you think and feel, you don't really know her. No-one really knows and relates to someone until they've met them. It all feels too intense - you can't have a relationship with a 7 year old if you haven't met her or her mother.

I don't mean to sound harsh but don't let this hurt you. Her behaviour isn't rational and as you don't really know her you can spend forever trying to work it out and you won't.

Take care.

GabsAlot · 08/09/2019 18:46

Oh and dont send it back stuff her-would cost a fortune anyway

BelowDeck · 08/09/2019 18:46

I think you need to find out why she and other friend stopped speaking. That may give some clarity.

BelowDeck · 08/09/2019 18:46

Could she also have been grooming you for gifts?

Cherry4weans · 08/09/2019 18:46

Haven't read the full thread but did she maybe open the gift in front of someone who doesn't know she drinks? Checkable if the Facebook pics settings are 'custom'. I once sent my neighbour a willy leash for a giggle and she opened it in front of her mum Blush

Jack80 · 08/09/2019 18:46

I think blocking and unlocking is pathetic of her, as her what she is playing at

BlondeBumshelll · 08/09/2019 18:47

You don't actually know her though OP, as hard as that sounds. You just know the persona she portrays to you. You have never seen her interact with others or how people interact with her which would tell you much more than she will ever admit to. She could be one of those people who tells you an utter fantasy but in reality she could be one of the hardest people to get along with which might suggest why she stated she doesn't hold on to friends, maybe they get the same paranoid treatment.

ChangeItChild · 08/09/2019 18:48

470 posts in and still nobody can figure out why she's taken offence (a lot of grasping at straws to try to figure it out) if you needed confirmation that your friend is unhinged then you definitely have it OP, you absolutely have done nothing wrong it even slightly wrong - just a genuinely thoughtful and kind gesture.

I'd post her gift back (no way in hell id be keeping it) with a letter attached. I would then pour myself a very large gin, block her on everything and forget all about her.

'Dear Friend,
Please find enclosed the gift you demanded I return, I'm so sorry if my gift to you or something I have said has hurt you or caused you offence. I wanted nothing more than to show you how much I appreciated and valued your friendship.

I thought we were close enough to chat about any problems, sadly it seems I was mistaken as you have abruptly ended our friendship and blocked me. This whole situation has baffled and confused me. I guess our friendship did not mean the same to you, and for that reason I am glad you have ended it.

May I take this final opportunity to wish you and your family all the best, I hope your future is filled with nothing but happiness and success.

Goodbye,
From Redshoes'

Goldenglory · 08/09/2019 18:48

She’s just not that into you. Give it up op and move on. You never done anything wrong and my previous advice was to tell her where to go but now you are phoning her husband/ talking about a relationship with their child and you’ve never even met any of them.
Weird. Let it go

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