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Original poster

Friend blocked me after a gift

973 replies

Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 08:51

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

OP posts:
GinbergsHowl · 08/09/2019 17:35

It genuinely doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong OP. She just sounds bonkers

TrixieMixie · 08/09/2019 17:39

She thinks you are insinuating she’s an alkie. And/or she has a drink problem and is over sensitive about it.

riceuten · 08/09/2019 17:39

Frankly. I'd just walk away and forget about her. She's not being reasonable or rational.

mawof3soontobe · 08/09/2019 17:42

She has told you before she can't keep friends. She's deliberately unblocking you to let you see photos of her using your gift to taunt you then unblocking you again. It all screams of a personality disorder or something to me, totally irrational and over the top, swinging from loving someone to hating them, flying off the handle and having a skewed sense of appropriate reactions to situations. Not being an armchair psych, speaking from personal experience as I'm currently awaiting diagnosis. It's very easy to see other people's crazy behaviour and think what an absolute melon, but my own? Not so much.

gilliansgardenbench · 08/09/2019 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mawof3soontobe · 08/09/2019 17:43

Or of course I could totally be projecting but there seems no real explanation otherwise which resonated with my own situation.

Tistheseason17 · 08/09/2019 17:44

Just bin the gift and move on. You are wasting too much time on someone who is treating you badly and is probably batshit crazy. You are just the latest in the line of ended friendships - there is already someone in your place waiting to be mistreated

Allways123 · 08/09/2019 17:44

Weird... Ask her if you've done something to upset her.

Iamdobby63 · 08/09/2019 17:45

Quick question, the mutual friend that met her in person, have you actually met this friend of the friend in real life? Something very iffy with this person and seems like she is playing games with you.

Soola · 08/09/2019 17:45

People are odd and take umbrage at perceived slights.

My ex used to work shifts and I thought I was being nice by setting an alarm to wake in the early hours of the morning to send him a ‘thinking of you’ text.

Unfortunately I once texted ‘Hope you have a sad journey home’ instead of ‘safe’ and he went beserk!

No amount of apologising would convince him that I had made a typo!

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 08/09/2019 17:47

motoko i didn't say we had problems, just asked if there was something Id missesd because she had gone bit cold.
Her views would be different if I told her full story, Im sure!

Trixie alcohol has been sent before between us. No issues.

OP posts:
Insanelysilver · 08/09/2019 17:51

God knows! She sounds like a strange one. Is she usually easy to offend?
Do you think the fact it was a gift card made her feel like you hasn’t bothered to choose her something?
I’d definitely send her a message and say if you don’t want to be friends then that’s fine but I would like you to tell me what it is I have done or haven’t done to make you feel as though you do.
Good luck. Let us know I’m dying to know now!

perfectstorm · 08/09/2019 17:53

Op, there's a saying that I think came from Maya Angelou: when someone shows you who they are, believe them. The first time.

This woman has behaved really oddly, but the blocking and unblocking you to show that she's spent your giftcard isn't just odd. It's manipulative and spiteful.

I'd be very glad that she's not someone you have to encounter at work, at the shops, or at the school gate, and write her off. Block her yourself and move on. She has serious issues, but don't allow them to be yours. In the words of Paul McCartney's mother's ghost: let it be.

clockworklime · 08/09/2019 17:54

I'd say fuck this oversensitive, unhinged cunt, block her and enjoy the peace.

TokyoSushi · 08/09/2019 17:55

Just come across this thread, it's going to be one of those weird ones with no solution that I end up randomly thinking about years later!

A bit like the poster who wrote the dedication in the book and the person blocked her, I still think of that one!

ToftyAC · 08/09/2019 17:58

Some people are just utterly barking mad. I don’t think you’ll ever get to the bottom of it all. Keep her gift and use it. It was a gift and she has used yours and then, sadly, just let it go. Very puzzling indeed.

InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 08/09/2019 17:58

Very succinctly put @clockworklime Grin

Mrsmadevans · 08/09/2019 17:58

I am wondering if she has poisoned the cocktail

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 08/09/2019 17:58

maw that resonates too, unfortunately.

Yes, iamdobby, i have met mutual friend. They were very close.

I also have met other people who know her. We've just never met each other.

OP posts:
SymphonyofShadows · 08/09/2019 17:59

I reckon she’s a narc who is using you to get attention from a third party: ‘look what Redshoes sent me, she must think I’m an alkie’ or she does have a drink problem that she’s supposed to be getting help with, and is blaming you for encouraging her to drink. I’ve had this with an ex-friend years ago who used my pregnancy to make people feel sorry for her. Her DH thought they were trying to get pg but she hadn’t come off the pill, so she made out to him that I’d been insensitive about her failure to conceive so he would back off. People are fucking weird.

Justontherightsideofnormal · 08/09/2019 18:01

Wow! I’d like you as my friend ...... I need a wine voucher give me alcohol as for miss stroppy knickers i’d drink the cocktails and post umpteen pictures so she can see Grin

peanutbutterbanana1 · 08/09/2019 18:01

I’ve had someone completely lose contact with me too, and not told me why. Just completely ghosted ☹️ Rubbish feeling.
Hope you get to the bottom of why but I personally wouldn’t want the friendship to continue after being treated so badly. Good luck

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/09/2019 18:01

I have a relative who can't keep friends either.
She takes massive offence suddenly at the least slight, and that's it, friendship over and done with.

So it may be that you did send one wrong word or something and she's just got all uppity over it and That's It, You're Out.

(Reminds me of an ancient computer game, all text based, back in the 80s - Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy thing. If you made a spelling mistake, it wouldn't let you know right away but then after a few minutes, some faraway planetary folk would be incensed by you using that misspelt word as it was highly offensive to them and they'd come and wipe out Earth because of you. Good game!)

I think you're going to have to let it go. Something has gone wrong but chances of you ever finding out, especially if the DH is refusing to speak to you, is next to nil. :(

iano · 08/09/2019 18:02

Op she sounds very difficult and emotionally draining.
Just forget about her.
Either block her or hide the thread. I bet if you don't answer she'll bombard you with messages.

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 08/09/2019 18:03

Damn, Tokyo ,i had decided to drink it tonight!!

OP posts: