Lets do 'dumb adverts' again!

[ptumbi]

I'm sure you've seen that advert for 'releasing equity' from your home ('So if you're thinking of releasing equity, then good advice is key' sung to let's all have a cuppa tea) - it's on twice an hour here.

Next time it's on, watch the big mass-dancing scene closely - watch the guy in the brown trousers right at the back left.. . he is so bad it's funny! Out of time, out of step, out of position

Also - I've noticed that the Oral B advert no longer squeaks 'I didn't even know Oral B made toothpaste!' so mumsnet does make a difference!

The equity release one has a woman standing on the right, who looks as though she’ll fall over when they spin at the end. I wonder how many takes it took to get it wrong. I bet they just though ‘Fuck it, that’s good enough.’

I haven't seen the Key equity advert but have heard it lots (several long car journeys over the summer).

What pisses me off is twofold:

(a) the scansion. "then good: - advice is key". Why why why do this? It should be "then good advice:- is key" (semiquavers earlier on, if that makes sense). They aren't even following the scansion of the original, because "then good" is replacing "and then we".

(b) TALKING of the original - for fuck's sake, people, it was a song about incompetent cowboy workers! Absolutely no way would they be on Checkatrade. Do you really want "was he in trouble - half a ton of rubble landed..........so Charlie and me had another cup of tea and then we went home" associated with a product that relies on the security of the property? It Makes No Sense.

Who else hopes June's family get her payout sooner the better when she dies of parsnip poisoning?

mentioning Checkatrade reminds me - I want them to do an advert based on the ABBA song. Checkatrade Checkatrade Checka-Checkatrade-trade.

@56Kirbs1979 Perf wif Surf?

she's happy in the bedside photo, too, isn't she?

@merryhouse yeah, but I bet she was smacked off her tits on cornflakes when the picture was taken.

Yes! Fucking June from next door with the post.. absolutely shite acting and a shite fake put on northern accent. I actually have to turn the tv over because it makes me cringe so much. Awful just awful.

Also Calgon with the overdubbing of English, awful patronising shite.

Strings and things is the latest cringeworthy, annoying and awful advert. I now refuse to buy it on principle!

Oh, and all car ads:

Never see another car. Except possibly if it's parked.

Kirbs1979

"Perf with Surf" - who is that woman?

And why is she everywhere?

She's on promotional stands, billboards, bus shelters, radio ads and tv.

MockersthefeMANist, in the Midlands, we've got a silent tv ad for a car sales place.

It's the weirdest thing. The ad looks like a cheap Powerpoint presentation and it's missing a soundtrack.

Gingernaut no idea but shes bloody annoying in the surf advert

We HATE with a passion the wine advert with the men reacting their Everest climb etc :- Trivento

We won't buy it on principle for two reason. One the annoying advert and two because it's Argentinian (not sure which is worst).

That bloody advert for McDonalds with Glen Medeiros warbling over it.

Any McDonalds advert which, rather than focusing on the things that they do well, such as convenience, long opening hours, speed, relatively low prices, clean etc., concentrate on trying to pretend that their food is the most delicious thing ever.

MockersthefeMANist, in the Midlands, we've got a silent tv ad for a car sales place.

It's the weirdest thing. The ad looks like a cheap Powerpoint presentation and it's missing a soundtrack.

Being kind to them, it might be that they did it deliberately as they thought it would catch people's attention by virtue of the fact that the sound has suddenly gone.

Even so, it seems very mean to blind people who probably think that their telly is on the blink every time the advert comes on (not that they'd be buying a car to drive themselves, but it's still very unkind).

The one for the false teeth glue stuff, where the borrower woman is very badly wobbling on a massive set of gnashers.

Ha ha yeah! And the caption "this is a dramatisation" - thanks for that otherwise I would actually have thought she was that small

Oh, and all car ads

I was incredulous the other day, as I finally saw a car advert - for Ford - which actually gave you some basic technical information about the qualities of the car.

Every other car ad - and perfume ad, for that matter, only every tries to sell it to you as a lifestyle thing rather than deigning to actually give you info about the product and suggestions as to why you might choose to buy it. Some angry woman jumps off a pier or two immature members of a couple send a trail of increasingly more stupid text messages to each other in different cars. That's lovely, dear, but about this product that you're trying to sell to me....

The 'Darling Hold My Hand...' holiday ad where a weird elongated childs hand and arm wobbles along in a holiday resort - I hate it,

The Bum Hips Heart woman obviously - this is a woman who can only talk in a shriek so has no friends which is why she is stalking her dentist.

Any of the ones for incontinence pants where woman make out they are thrilled they get to wear hideous paper pants and pissing yourself is a massive laugh. 'A bit of stinky piss won;t stop me doing whatever I want etc etc.'

That one for tampons with a tennis player where she talks about beihng a 'wummun' and they say the tampons have something in that I can never decipher - it sounds like 'imperico berias' and I always think WTF is that and why have they started putting it in tampons ? (I am slightly deaf though - she could be saying waterproof coating or something for all I know)

I miss BARRY SCOTT.

Thanks to this thread read at lunchtime, I've had a Glen Madeiros earworm all afternoon.

@KurriKurri
I miss BARRY SCOTT

Now that was good advertising.
Did you ever hear the song they made? Genius.

For some reason the Internet thinks I need hearing aids. I do not. I have done that report the ad thing literally hundreds of time without any effect. The most annoying is a woman in profile, who doesn't look a day over 40, with an animation of a hearing aid going in and out of her ear. It is creepy.

Dear revolutionary German hearing aid advertiser (hear.com), one more time...I don't need hearing aids and your ad gives me the creeps!

I know how to look after my body
I know how to look after my heart
But how do I look after my....mouth?

Just keep it shut dear and let it look after itself.

Yes, yes, the false teeth glue lady. As of you come in late at night in all your finery after a gala do and reach for an apple. As if she hasn't got a kebab in her handbag.

My Dd has just reminded me of the awful fairy ad where they shake the pots after a spag bol /tomato based sauce to the tune of "i like to move it" and the fairy one is clean.
Also (local) radio ads. One hideous one with a small brat child playing i spy and he spies the dart charge and inexplicably for a young child knows all the details and how to pay it.
And euronics in dunstable, their conversation is soooo hilariously fake and you can't imagine anyone in the history of the world actually talking like that!

Bring back yellow pages/jr Hartley

ptumbi I pointed out that very thing to DH today (the dreadful brown trousers man). I am so very glad it is not just me that notices this sort of thing!