Lets do 'dumb adverts' again!

[ptumbi]

I'm sure you've seen that advert for 'releasing equity' from your home ('So if you're thinking of releasing equity, then good advice is key' sung to let's all have a cuppa tea) - it's on twice an hour here.

Next time it's on, watch the big mass-dancing scene closely - watch the guy in the brown trousers right at the back left.. . he is so bad it's funny! Out of time, out of step, out of position

Also - I've noticed that the Oral B advert no longer squeaks 'I didn't even know Oral B made toothpaste!' so mumsnet does make a difference!

Car adverts....why do they never tell you the actual price of the car, only the monthly cost?
I might want to buy a car, but I sure as hell want to know what the total price of it is.

Perfume ads are always terrible but the new Lancome (I think it is) one with Zendaya on the horse is terrible! The CGI is just awful and if you watch the way she is riding it, it's hilarious!

Someone's knocking at the door, someone's ringing the bell - just go away.

I feel a bit mean but the macmillan coffee morning one with Julie Walters. No Julie love I don't want to hold a coffee morning for an organisation which let my DF down so badly.

@edgen2019 oh great. Now I’m singing it again!!!!!!!!!!

Things that make you go WOW - another one for you to sing along to Dontgiveamonkeys!

Yorkshire tea with Dynamo. It’s not him that pisses me off it’s her. ‘A couple?’ He comes down, ‘sorry I only want one’, off he pops up.

The Nationwide poetry ads, the weird, annoying intonation the readers adopt, sort of sing songy, and they always look away with a side smile when finished. Then turn and walk away.

WTF that has to do with mortgages and interest rates we will never know.

Are you gonna Bingo? (or whatever she's saying). So annoying. The On The Market one and the awful funeral joy ones.

@Gingernaut yes! That bloody sodding silent car one!
We reckon it's the best bit of advertising ever though coz no matter what, it gets you watching.
DH and I now scream "don't look! Look away!" If it comes on. It won't beat us! (dramatic)

There's a freeview channel with US murder programmes on it (if I'm up early, there's not much else on & I can crochet with it as background, that's my excuse) & they have this interminable ad for Italian made mattresses. It goes on & on about everything you can think of to do with mattresses in a really insistent way & just when you think it's going to finish they start repeating EVERYTHING. I have to mute it or find another channel otherwise I feel punch-drunk.

Furniture companies who can only say prices by breathlessly shouting individual numbers - THREE NINE NINE!, NINE FOUR NINE! etc.

But what ever happened to "Darren" from the comfort advert ("Darren, your creasing me now") and the Nescafé pair that we're getting married and having a baby!

The Co-op and the patronizing voice saying "its what we do". Aarrgghh.

Not just the irritating poets and unfunny comedians for Nationwide, their 'handy' tip that 'It's much easier to save if you do it on the day you're paid'.

Possibly, if you're the well-paid sort who regularly spends a lot impulsively on frivolous things throughout the month, but it's a less than worthless tip if you actually don't have any spare money after you've paid for your bills and essentials. Not much use 'saving' it on payday when it's already earmarked for your mortgage, rent or council tax payment.

On the plus side, though, I'm not sorry to see the back of shouty PPI man demanding to know "Are YOU the one?" or "Why haven't you done it yet?"

I still keep expecting to see him popping up from time to time sitting in the corner of a dank, dark room with his head in his hands, sobbing and crying "I did all I could!" and "Sooo, sooo tired!"

Furniture companies who can only say prices by breathlessly shouting individual numbers - THREE NINE NINE!, NINE FOUR NINE! etc.

This!!! (Because we're too stupid to use hundreds, tens and units OR we might be fooled , because of said stupidity, that its actually really cheap because they're using single digit numbers

Oh and banks pretending they're all about helping you, having customer relationship, making things easier when actually all the banks i deal with act as if customers are a complete inconvenience and insist you should do everything online because they're about to close the branch

The ones that make me cringe the most are 'I feel protected and pretty' and 'a little bit of wee won't stop me being me' 🤮
There's no male equivalent- obviously HCPs took their bladder weakness more seriously.

SausageRoll
Millions in unclaimed PPI! I tried to tell them! Why wouldn't they listen to me?? Whyyyyy? sobs

Furniture companies who can only say prices by breathlessly shouting individual numbers - THREE NINE NINE!, NINE FOUR NINE! etc.

OMG I am SO GLAD I'm not the only one! That started pissing me off when I was a child and hasn't stopped since.

Kim Wilde OMFG..

I've heard male incontinence ads on the radio.

They were shortlived......

The tesco one where the woman is making burgers in the morning, because that is when kids get there exam results.

Who wants to eat a paprika burger at 10am!

There are also adverts on LBC for a law firm that specialise in representing men. They make my teeth itch.

The ones that makes me want to eat my own eyeballs are the Wowcher ads! The song is based on “things that make you go hmm” with wow in place of hmm and 3 stupid bints (one of whom looks exactly like Catherine Tate) prancing around with their amazing wowcher purchases. Or some have professional male dancers who are clearly very talented but have realised the ad is utter drivel and are trying not to look sheepish about it.

Then there was the one (Tui I think but not sure) where the mother was trying to jolly her foully petulant teenage daughter along. The problem was that the young actress was far too good at making the teen look utterly vile that by the end you felt that she didn't deserve to have such a lovely mother trying her best!