Lets do 'dumb adverts' again!

[ptumbi]

I'm sure you've seen that advert for 'releasing equity' from your home ('So if you're thinking of releasing equity, then good advice is key' sung to let's all have a cuppa tea) - it's on twice an hour here.

Next time it's on, watch the big mass-dancing scene closely - watch the guy in the brown trousers right at the back left.. . he is so bad it's funny! Out of time, out of step, out of position

Also - I've noticed that the Oral B advert no longer squeaks 'I didn't even know Oral B made toothpaste!' so mumsnet does make a difference!

TravellingSpoon there is another LBC advert which sounds exactly like the CEO said they wanted to get certain words in, so they based the entire thing around those. It's a dentist which has the tagline of "your teeth are our healthy obsession"
Which sounds as more sinister than anything!

**The Co-op and the patronizing voice saying "its what we do". Aarrgghh.

Urgh yes. I hate the current one anyway with the two women swimming in the sea - 'did you know the co-op do compostable baaaaaags now'

The equity release ad with the little girl.

LG: I like your new room Granddad, can my dolls house have one?
GD: We got ours by releasing some equity from our house
LG: Shut the fuck up with your dodgy financial shit and find me a cardboard box.

I've realised that if an advert is totally nonsensical, bizarre and never mentions a product then it is always for perfume/aftershave - oh yes. Atmospheric lighting, stylish cars, horses, vacant looking women and sneering dominating men, possibly in trunks or black tie... Gotta be a perfume ad.

The one for (I think) Oak Furniture Land where the woman bought some grey-washed oak furniture ;which I didn't know they did' - well, I go in shops allllll the time and find stuff that I didn't know they did!

Also, in the same vein, the woman who says 'it's a steal - well, not a steal, that would be wrong' makes me curl up and scream. How dumb do they think we are to misinterpret a totally common phrase in common, almost daily use?

That post code lottery ad, it doesn't tell me what it actually is or how it works. It has an annoying song.

A postcode lottery is that thing where you can't get IVF, free prescriptions, bariatric surgery because of where you live.

Just to give a bit of the other side I love the Sean Bean Yorkshire tea ad.

The equity release ad with the little girl.

Kid is North of England and Grandad is Scottish. I realise this is perfecty possible, but I sense the Creatives in their London office deciding, "Oh, it's all up there...."

A postcode lottery is that thing where you can't get IVF, free prescriptions, bariatric surgery because of where you live.

Dave Gorman mentioned that - the phrase is usually considered unilaterally negative!

What I can't understand is why they travel around in a van. Just how big are their novelty-sized camera-friendly cheques?! Their wooden demeanour and stilted way of talking always used to irritate me, until I started imagining them as 'Po' - the people from Tinpo - and now I manage to survive the ads relatively unscathed.

....I didn't mean unilaterally, did I?! Unanimously.

"My daughter's special day? My home helped pay for it."

She's overjoyed now, but she'll be glad about that further on down the line when there's nothing left for her to inherit because the lot was spent on one single day years ago!

The bloke on the Gtech adverts makes some funny noises - especially that one where he's hoovering the car. He'll just finish saying his puff piece and then do a short "uuuurrgghh!!" - like a cross between a baby straining to do a poo and a latter-day Sid James.

Just to give a bit of the other side I love the Sean Bean Yorkshire tea ad.

I've never got the whole thing with the Yorkshire Tea concept, though. They keep trying to make out that it's all 'done' the proper way - the Yorkshire way.

Something tells me that none of their tea is actually grown in Rotherham or Dewsbury, though....

@tryingtobebetterallthetime
For some reason the Internet thinks I need hearing aids. I do not.

They do say the internet knows more about us than we do ourselves, with their clever algorithm. Are you quite sure people around you haven't started mumbling a lot and your TV volume hasn't mysteriously readjusted itself to always seem too quiet?

I get a lot of "targetted" adverts for incontinence aids, both online and recently through the actual letter box. I'm a childless woman in my 30s, and haven't shown any interest in them, so I'm not quite where that's come from!

"You better knock [knock knock] on wood..."

While our creepy persistent salesmen follow you round like a bad smell to flog you crappy cabinets on credit.

I've never got the whole thing with the Yorkshire Tea concept

Particularly since Taylors of Harrogate do not market their other product as Yorkshire Coffee.

Well there is a new Oak FurnitureLand one - where some vacant cow buys an ugly sideboard and gets the lad/DH? to move it from dining room to lounge to hall then 'X's mum' comes to the door and says 'Oh that's nice' (presumably about the ugly sideboard) and Vacant Cow smirks like she's won the Noble Prize for Interior Decorating.

Vile, vacuous, facile, stereotypical and dated. Way to make us buy it!