Effective put downs for cheeky children please

[IchiNiSan]

There are a group of boys who hang around near my home and shout cheeky comments to passersby. They're probably around 12-13, so puberty may be hitting and they want to show off. Ignoring them doesn't work, they just get brave and shout more and more comments. Any cutting put downs appreciated!

I remember when a teenage boy walked past me when I was mowing my lawn. "I'll trim your bush for you love" he said. I replied "No it's ok thanks I already have a man to do that for me".

Continue to ignore. Any attempt at a put down will just entertain them more and you’ll be a laughing stock to them.

There are a group of boys who do this near our flat, I usually ignore but one day I did turn round, looked the kid who spoke straight in the face and said 'are you talking to me?' He shit himself and said no, to which I replied that I didnt think so and carried on walking. No trouble since.

I am pretty stern though and used to dealing with teenagers through work. Agree with PP that they can smell fear and a lot of these 'witty' putdowns will just invoke hilarity.

The sad truth is that a lot of these kids will be being called worse at home on a daily basis than anything any of us can come up with.