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Original poster

What on earth is wrong with having a boy??

144 replies

NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 21:29

DS is 11 months and I love him more than I thought humanly possible! I am starting to get annoyed with all the posts about wanting girls. What is wrong with boys?? I always (from a very young age) thought I would have a daughter first (until my sister had a girl) and am amazed at my little boy every day. I realise I would be equally amazed every day had he been a girl. What is this widespread preference for wanting girls? I genuinely do not get it!

OP posts:
Original poster
NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 21:30

Meant to add: I almost find it offensive, as though my DS is somehow less special or desirable than girl babiesConfused

OP posts:
happytoday73 · 28/08/2019 21:31

No I don't get it either. Boys are brill...

DramaAlpaca · 28/08/2019 21:33

I don't get it either. I have three now grown up sons who are amazing & I'm so happy with my lot. I've never yearned for a daughter.

Sparklingbrook · 28/08/2019 21:36

I don't understand the assumption that women secretly want daughters.

I have never once wished I had a daughter.

Kungfupanda67 · 28/08/2019 21:36

I desperately wanted a girl when I was pregnant with my second son, mainly because in my family we have a history of men just vanishing and being very low contact. None of my siblings or cousins are close to their dads, none of the boys are close to their mums or sisters. I see my aunties but not my uncles, there’s a huge issue with absent dads. So I wanted a girl because I wanted the relationship when she is an adult.

Before everyone jumps on me, I know I was wrong - my friend from work goes on weekends away with her son, my sister in law’s husband’s parents are hugely involved in her children’s lives, my husband is really close to his sister, it just seems to be a quirk of where I grew up and who I grew up with.

I ended up with 2 boys and a girl, no preference and I can’t see that there will be a difference in how much contact I have with them as they get older.

Or maybe it’s because girl’s clothes are nicer 🤷‍♀️

haveuheard · 28/08/2019 21:36

I have two boys, was asked several times when they were small if I would have another to try for a girl. Nope. There are major benefits to boys - particularly in the area of hair/school uniform/school dress up days. Much less to think about if you have a boy.

Although I overheard a conversation once between a mother of boys and a mother of girls. Mother of girls was worried about her daughters getting to teen years and coming home pregnant. Mother of boys countered this with the fact that she was worried her sons could go out and make multiple girls pregnant. So maybe the difficult years are still to come!

In all seriousness, I think its that girls= more shopping. More clothes choices etc. However if you don't like shopping, this is not a benefit.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 28/08/2019 21:38

I must have missed these posts, I always thought it was the other way round!

GaraMedouar · 28/08/2019 21:40

I have 2 boys and 1 girl and they are all individuals. The 2 boys are chalk and cheese. I love all my children, but get on with them differently, not due to their sex but due to their personalities.

NewAccount270219 · 28/08/2019 21:42

The most tedious sort of woman seems to want daughters in the assumption that they will be able to 'stereotypical girl things' together, as if their daughter will be an equally tedious mini me rather than an autonomous human being. Unfortunately, there are quite a lot of these tedious women.

To be fair, tedious men seem equally obsessed with having a boy 'to kick a ball about with'. Tedious men are often married to tedious women, thus the widespread tedious belief that 'one of each' is a universal aspiration

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/08/2019 21:42

There are plenty of cultures and nations that predominantly prefer boys!
What both these culture preferences have in common is the idea of who stays closer to the family. As I understand it the Asian cultures traditionally preferred boys as the future daughter in laws live with them and they “keep” their son. In western culture the theory is the woman’s side of the family is dominant (in my experiences this has been true)

Personally I think people are obsessed with the idea that people want 1 of each! I don’t

Newmumma83 · 28/08/2019 21:44

Is there ? I remember thinking I would have a girl, and then it was a boy that looked just like his dad on his scan and I was happy too.

My only fear was my mum described my brother as a demon child who never slept and me as a nice sleepy baby who was low maintenance. I have a middle of the road baby.. barely slept Unless held upright and screamed lot first 2 and half months ( it’s a blur me and my husband were full on hallucinating with lack of sleep ) then we got the colic under control : he got
More mobile / we figured it all out
And I have a happy boy who kinda sleeps through the night ( bar 4-5 re settles , but quick ones and maybe a bottle )

And I wouldn’t change him.

Just think all our beautiful kids could be a different person if we conceived just one week later ... we could have a girl and I am just so grateful that I fell pregnant on that day and I would not Swap or change him for the world 🌎

goose1964 · 28/08/2019 21:44

I have 2boys and a girl,and I have 4 grandsons and one granddaughter. I'm more comfortable with boys tbh although DD was more of a tomboy.

GreenishPurple · 28/08/2019 21:47

Is it posts about mothers wanting girls? Or fathers wanting girls?
I do think women are more likely to want girls, i think it's to do with connection, as a women you understand what it's like to be a girl
growing up and perhaps have a closer connection because of it.

In that way mothers and daughters could have more in common than mothers and sons and perhaps be closer in adult life. I mean you see all the MIL/ DIL issues on here.

I honestly think a lot people who have a sex preference before they have the baby realise once they have a baby it doesn't make a difference.

BackBoiler · 28/08/2019 21:47

I never thought I wanted a girl but after my two sons I then had a daughter. Would I swap her for another son, no way! Would I swap my sons for a daughter, no way!

My daughter is very 'pink, princess dresses and shimmer and shine' she is also constantly scruffy looking, fights, is a cheeky little shit and ends up with food up to her eyebrows.

Her slightly older brother is a beautiful quiet little soul who is very thoughtful, clean, intelligent and sometimes likes to wear his mums heels in the house!

The eldest boy is the most loving little thing ever, even though he is about to start secondary school and I'm hoping it will last a few more years, a keen cook, house proud and a proper sportsman!

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that every child is their own person and we should all focus on that instead of what genitalia they have!

BackBoiler · 28/08/2019 21:49

Just to add I like that none of my comments about my daughter are derogatory. I love everything about her and she makes me smile (she is the youngest and the loudest)

Pinkblueberry · 28/08/2019 21:50

I love my DS to bits, I wouldn’t want him to be a girl now - I used to think I wanted a girl, like most girls do I suppose before they actually have boys, but my DS is so fun and lovely, I definitely wouldn’t mind having another boy and leaving it at that.

Original poster
NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 21:54

@allthegoodusernameshavegone There's currently one about trying for a girl, although the OP says she'd be happy either way. "Gender disappointment" comes up fairly regularly. Ironically, if people weren't so bloody obsessed with gender stereotypes then the preference for a particular sex would also be less of a thing...

@Kungfupanda67 I can understand that. I always thought I'd have/ wanted a girl first, but that's because me, my mum and my gran were first-born daughters, and I have a thing for patterns (diagnosed with OCD). I also have insecurity issues and therefore wanted to be the first in at least one way, so quite pleased when I provided the first grandson to my parents. Bloody ridiculous, I know... In neither case the preference was anything to do with the sex itself though, just patterns and wanting to be special...

Wrt clothes: I actually prefer most boys clothes to girls clothes (although I think the unisex stuff is best) - too many frills, flowers and unicorns for girls. And I hate shopping. DS will definitely need to look to his dad if he develops a taste for fine fashionGrin

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Alarae · 28/08/2019 21:55

Hands up, currently pregnant and hoping for a girl. Purely because it's what I imagined when I was younger; I know girls as I am one (superficially; I understand different personalties etc). I also naturally get on better with girls- it's the same with my nieces and nephews. I don't do it on on purpose as I love them all equally, I just feel like I have more in common with them. I'm genuinely lost when it comes to boys and cannot imagine how they might see the world through their eyes.

Obviously whatever sex my child is I know I will love them and I wouldn't love a boy less than a girl. The reality will be different to my imagination. I guess I didn't have much direct experience with boys as I grew up with two sisters. Maybe that had an influence?

Nothingcomesforfree · 28/08/2019 21:56

Well all the people I know who worked with kids wanted boys. It’s very very sexist but they considered them “simpler” to raise.

The advantage to girls is that they often have a closer bond to their mothers. No one wants to raise a mummy’s boy ( even though mine is going to be). Once boys get married they’ve gone, whereas girls often stay as friends to their mums.

Massive generalisations obviously. I know lots on here are NC.

Original poster
NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 22:04

@Newaccount270219 Thank you!!! I thought I was the only one who would be quite happy with two of the same!!! Trying very hard not to have a preference, but boy first girl second is a bit of a cliché in my mind hahahaha! As if anyone gets too choose (I realise I am quite rigid in my thinking, which is not a good thing).

You might be onto something about tedious women and tedious men and one of each. The only time I've heard someone express a clear preference irl I totally couldn't understand it, because she has a tricky relationship with her mother, to put it mildly.

My parents had girl-girl-boy. Someone actually said to my mum "I bet your husband's pleased he's finally secured the continuation of his name". She was so angry she didn't speak to them for years.

I'm talking about MN mainly, not on a cultural level. But if you look at Emily Norris on YouTube and the sex reveal for her third, she is actually full on crying that he's a boy. I wasn't sure at the time whether I admired her honesty or just found it plain ridiculous.

OP posts:
Original poster
NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 22:09

So why is a daddy's girl sweet but a mummy's boy a bad thing?? And please stop peddling this idea that men disappear when they marry! Both my mother and I moved countries for love and therefore see more of our in-laws than our own parents. My brother regularly visits them for dinner etc, even now he has a girlfriend, shock horror! FIL calls DH weekly and is very much a family man, whereas MIL is far less involved.

The more I think about it, the more I think it's all down to stupid gender stereotyping...

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Stroller15 · 28/08/2019 22:15

I love the way @NewAccount270819 put it! Also doomed Mother of 2 boys here who have heard "a daughter is for life" way too much already, despite both boys being toddlers! So tedious!

BoopBoopedooBoo · 28/08/2019 22:16

I've got two girls who couldn't be more different.

And even when I was pregnant with the first, I had a lot of comments from people saying they hoped it was a boy. One of these people was a Japanese guy I knew, I think it was a cultural thing. I was pleased to have a girl (who identifies as gender neutral and has done for years before it became a thing) and having a second one wasn't an issue for me but the father was pissed off because he already had a bit and wanted another because he's a huge twatty chauvinist.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/08/2019 22:20

I do think though we are harsher to judge women who wanted girls than men who want sons

StressyDressyHeels · 28/08/2019 22:20

I desperately wanted a girl when I was pregnant.

I have a boy and I adore the bones of him, now I genuinely have no preference for my second. As soon as I saw my DS I thought he was the vision of perfection and any thoughts wishing he was a girl melted away.

It’s nothing to be offended by.