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Original poster

What on earth is wrong with having a boy??

144 replies

NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 21:29

DS is 11 months and I love him more than I thought humanly possible! I am starting to get annoyed with all the posts about wanting girls. What is wrong with boys?? I always (from a very young age) thought I would have a daughter first (until my sister had a girl) and am amazed at my little boy every day. I realise I would be equally amazed every day had he been a girl. What is this widespread preference for wanting girls? I genuinely do not get it!

OP posts:

LatteLove · 28/08/2019 22:49

I think you're homing in on any pro girl posts and of course feeling defensive towards your son, I'm the other way as I've got two girls and feel like on here people are always on about how girls aren't as loving, are awful teenagers, are spiteful at primary age and how people are so glad they had boys.

I cringe when I see all that shite as well. I’ve only got boys, never wished they were girls or been tempted to try for one, if I’d had girls I know I’d feel just the same. We love our kids for who they are not because of their sex. I hate the anti-girl posts, they’re awful.

Whatdayisit2 · 28/08/2019 22:50

I have 2 girls 1 boy. I love him with all my heart. I also love my girls but it's a different more complex relationship with girls.

LatteLove · 28/08/2019 22:51

God, the stereotypes and sexism on this thread are awful!

Yep, but also, so bloody predictable.

Musmerian · 28/08/2019 22:52

@NewAccount270219 - this in a nutshell!

BlueCookieMonster · 28/08/2019 22:52

I suppose because I’m not really the most feminine of people.

I have a niece and it’s like we’re on different planets, I feel like I don’t get girls until they’re older.

I actually don’t know what I’d do with a girl (besides turn her into a raging feminist 😂).

Ohyesiam · 28/08/2019 22:53

Take no notice of the shite people talk.

Original poster

NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 22:56

Just to clarify: I am not suggesting anyone has said that they love their girls more/ that girls are more loveable than boys. It's just all the shite about wanting a daughter/ being disappointed with a son before the birth or even conception. One of the reasons we didn't find out the sex was because I didn't want the gender stereotyping to begin in utero (not that that stopped people from suggesting I was having a boy when he didn't cooperate during CTGs He is actually a super easy baby, so that reasoning was bollocks anyway) - it would appear I was right. SIL has two boys, and FIL and SMIL keep saying how "it's not a gender stereotype, he just genuinely loves cars and tractors!" Well duh, that's all the toys you ever get for him!

OP posts:

Hedgehogblues · 28/08/2019 22:57

I'm butch as hell, I'm doing fine with having a daughter

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 28/08/2019 23:03

I think one of each would be nice....but it wouldn’t have mattered as i really just wanted the babies

I have only heard two or three times (in my circle of friends) women saying that they didn’t want a girl as girls were hard work. Never heard a woman say she didnt want a boy, though I don’t doubt it happens

Frith2013 · 28/08/2019 23:08

DO mothers desperately want girls? This is news to me.

Original poster

NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 23:10

Wrt being hard work: I was as a baby, my sister wasn't. She, however, was hell as a teen. But so was my brother. And I wasn't. DS is the easiest baby. I met up with a friend today whose DD is super tricky. But last week I met up with a friend whose DS is also super tricky. I'm not sure why I'm even trying to counteract all the stereotypes...

OP posts:

Original poster

NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 23:11

@Frith2013 have a search for threads on gender disappointment (it's always gender, not sex, which is quite telling imho...) on here. They're not often about people being disappointed they're having a girl...

OP posts:

justgivemewine · 28/08/2019 23:19

I have 3 boys and wouldn’t change a thing. Probably because I’m the least girly girl ever and the thought of doing make up/princessy things fills me with horror. Would much rather play with cars/mud/stereotypical boys stuff.

When pregnant with ds3 I considered getting a t shirt that said
“Yes it was planned”
“No we aren’t hoping for a girl”

whattodowith · 28/08/2019 23:22

I don’t understand it either. I have two of each and my boys are so quiet, well behaved and calm. The girls are the complete opposite in every way, spirited is probably the word I would use . I have no idea why everyone dismisses boys, they’re fantastic.

SudowoodoVoodoo · 28/08/2019 23:23

I've got two sons and they are wonderful young people who happen to be male. One is very heavily into "masculine" sterotypes, the other has some shared interests, is more sporty than geeky "masculine" but is more open minded and less bothered by "masculine/ feminine"

If I do get pangs about not having a daughter it is inevitably over something very superficial like a family heirloom. Growing up my identity was very strongly down the female line of oldest daughter of oldest daughter, and that has ended.

Would I feel regret and change my sons? No way! (Well, maybe one could chill out more, but that's not to do with his sex ) And if they'd happened to be female or one of each in whatever order, I doubt my feelings would be any different.

eeksville · 28/08/2019 23:23

I have 2 friends with only boys & people have expressed to them oh are you sad you didn't have a girl etc My friends would never dream of turning round to mothers of girls & saying isn't your husband desperate for a boy.

whattodowith · 28/08/2019 23:23

Also want to say that I do know people who have actively tried their best to have a boy ‘for their husband’s sake’ so it can work both ways.

zebrasdontwearbras · 28/08/2019 23:29

Rufus, 2 of each would be terrific But I never went for No.4.

I had two boys, and I'll be honest, I wanted a girl after that, but only because ideally I wanted both sexes. I got a girl as a my third, but I would have been ok with 3 boys (I realised I had to be, because, you can;t choose the sex of your baby - and that's probably a good thing, judging by threads like these. So much gender stereotyped expectation on children!)

There was a time before I had my girl where I would put my two tiny boys in the shopping trolley - and it was just adorable. They were adorable. They're great hulking almost-men now - and I just still adore them.

LittleAndOften · 28/08/2019 23:29

I love my beautiful ds more than anything. When I found out that my pending bump is a boy I was, and am, delighted. I can't wait for them to be brothers. Boys are wo derdul in ways I couldn't have imagined, but they are all obsessed with their willies!

lalafafa · 28/08/2019 23:30

I would have dreaded a boy, having 2 girls. Through the years the amount of nightmare lads I’m DD’s classes have totally put me off. Although some of them are coming through the other side as teens.

Branleuse · 28/08/2019 23:32

I think its just a fantasy mother daughter relationship they're after in a lot of cases

LittleAndOften · 28/08/2019 23:33

I don't have much in common with my mum, we've never been close. I imagine if I had a daughter she'd be nothing like how I expected anyway!

Nothingcomesforfree · 28/08/2019 23:38

It’s no good complaining about the sexism because that what the question requires. Why people want one sex over another. And of course lots of people won’’t care.

If someone asked the question “what’s so bad about dogs” ( as opposed to cats) you’d get loads of people generalising on cats and dogs as well as the stories about well trained cats and dogs that are a bit aloof.

LookingForward2020 · 28/08/2019 23:39

I really wanted a girl. It was a need I felt deep down my soul. I wanted to have a relationship with her that I wished I had with my own mother. So far so good. I have a son too and I love him no less! I realise now though that I actually didn’t need a girl to recreate the parent-child relationship I longed for as a child. Love both my babies very much! I had fears I wouldn’t be able to bond with a boy. How wrong I was!

Original poster

NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 23:40

@lalafafa I'm a teacher, and the misbehaving boys thing is a bit of a cliché. The girls are just as bad. And that's before we look into how and why our educational system favours girls. I'm assuming you had your second girl before your first started school. What made you dread having a boy? What would you actually have done had you had a boy?

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