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Original poster

What on earth is wrong with having a boy??

144 replies

NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 21:29

DS is 11 months and I love him more than I thought humanly possible! I am starting to get annoyed with all the posts about wanting girls. What is wrong with boys?? I always (from a very young age) thought I would have a daughter first (until my sister had a girl) and am amazed at my little boy every day. I realise I would be equally amazed every day had he been a girl. What is this widespread preference for wanting girls? I genuinely do not get it!

OP posts:

Solongtoshort · 28/08/2019 22:22

I didn’t find out what each of mine were till l gave birth. l somehow knew my ds was a boy, l really though my dd was a boy as well till l had a conversation l was having a scan with a midwife as l hadn’t felt baby move and she said there her heartbeat, l said is it a girl and she said all flustered no no no l call all babies she.

When my ds was born everyone said boys are lazy. When l had my dd everyone said girls are worse than boys. It drove me mad.

Stormwhale · 28/08/2019 22:22

I have both. I adore both. To be honest I worried that I wouldn't be able to love ds like I love dd, but I was completely wrong. My boy is my absolute world same as my daughter. He is cheeky and gorgeous and I couldn't love him more if I tried.

LatteLove · 28/08/2019 22:25

Usually because they buy into tired old gender stereotypes.

zebrasdontwearbras · 28/08/2019 22:28

I had 2 boys and then a girl. I adore my boys. And my girl. My dd moans that she doesn't have a sister though.

I think gender stereotyping has gone a bit crazy tbh - people desperate for one or the other. I wanted children.

LizzieSiddal · 28/08/2019 22:29

Well I did want a girl, desperately, and I ended up with two and am very greatful.

The realism being I wasn’t brought up by my mum, from the age of three. I don’t have a close relationship with her or with my new step mum. So I grew up wanting a Dd so I could experience a mother/Dd relationship.

It can work the other way though. My friend’s mother was a dreadful mother to her growing up and she didn’t want girls- she got two boys.

LizzieSiddal · 28/08/2019 22:30

Excuse typos!

Original poster

NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 22:31

@Lattelove, possibly! I'm quite excited to raise DS as a little feminist the stereotypes are so insidious though - I am currently making playfood for a play kitchen I got DS and then worrying I am trying too hard with the gender neutral. Had I had a girl I would be worrying I was confirming the gender stereotypes...

@Stressydressyheels - why did you really want a girl?

I think the worrying about loving the second as much as the first is quite common, irrespective of sex.

OP posts:

Original poster

NCBabyBoy · 28/08/2019 22:34

@LizzieSiddal I can totally understand that. It sounds really tough and I hope you have the relationship with your daughters that you missed out on as a girl

OP posts:

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 28/08/2019 22:36

I don’t get it either. One sex is no better. I love my dd and ds equally. Ds is enthusiastic, affectionate, argumentative, curious, empathetic, funny. Love boys.

bananasandwicheseveryday · 28/08/2019 22:37

I agree - it was made very clear to me that I had failed in some way because I had boys, when both my mum and MIL were desperate for me to have a girl. And yet, my own relationship with my mum, whilst OK, is not what I'd call close. I'm certainly not a 'girly girl' , hate shopping with a passion and just don't 'get' the sparkly unicorn type of girl.
My boys are amazing, we are close and see each other often - we help care for dgs whilst ds and DIL work. I can't imagine being any closer to a daughter and thankfully, both DILs are more like me and we get on really well.
Boys are great!

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 28/08/2019 22:37

God, the stereotypes and sexism on this thread are awful!

Mummabear2212 · 28/08/2019 22:39

I dont know OP but it drives me mad. I get asked alot if I'd like a girl next time (whole other point about rudely asking/assuming we will have a 2nd DC). My DS is perfect and I couldn't and wouldn't imagine him to be anyone else.

If we have a 2nd DC and have a DD, then fantastic. If we have a DS then also fantastic. Who ever they are, whatever sex they are, is who they're meant to be to complete our family.

AreWeAnywhereNear · 28/08/2019 22:39

It boggled my mind I have 2 DSs very close in age and the number of Mums with girls who head tilted and said 'how do you manage' was untrue. Honestly, it got ridiculous, to be fair it was only when they were at primary school.

I've no idea how I cope as I know no different, no one ever comments now. I do give off an aura of 'don't ask' and binned all the people who'd say such stupid things though

StressyDressyHeels · 28/08/2019 22:39

@NCBabyBoy
I thought I’d be able to relate better to a girl and therefore parent them better. I felt like boys were a scary unknown and that just added to my anxiety of being a new mum.

All seems really stupid now I have my lovely boy, but when pregnant and hormonal it was very real.

Hedgehogblues · 28/08/2019 22:39

I have heard people say horrible things about little girls though, often in front of them. Stuff about how spiteful and manipulative and hard work they are, and how much easier boys are. It makes me really angry.

PatchworkElmer · 28/08/2019 22:39

I find it really odd, but I do wonder if a lot of it is dependent on what people think the sex of a child ‘means’. My friend’s husband wanted a son desperately, is already putting him into football lessons, won’t let him play with anything pink because he’s a boy... equally, I have another friend with a very young baby daughter who already has a full-on Disney princess outfit collection for her. They both obviously had very clear ideas about what the sex of their child would ‘mean’.

Gogreen · 28/08/2019 22:40

Girls just seem more desirable...I’m not sure why, two people I know kept trying until they got a girl, one person has two boys but wanted at least one a girl instead, one other person I know has three boys but would have loved a girl....I know other people with just girls and have never said how they would have loved a boy instead/additional

Maybe because boys leave but girls seek help from their mothers when they are older and become parents themselves??

SleepingStandingUp · 28/08/2019 22:42

I have a boy and currnetly pregnant with boy twins, I am a bit sad I'll never have a daughter as I would have liked both, and I know lots of people will be "are you going for a 4th for a girl" as soon as they're out. But DS is awesome, I can oy hope his little brothers will be as cool as him

BlueCookieMonster · 28/08/2019 22:44

Two boys here, if I was trying again, I’d actively be praying and sacrificing pidgins for another boy.

I have no desire for a girl whatsoever, despite being one, girls terrify me.

Herefortheduration · 28/08/2019 22:45

I wanted a girl for dc1, I am the youngest of two girls and to me that was a normal family iyswim, I had a boy and I adore him, 'boys' things became interesting to me as my ds would be so happy and enthusiastic about them. I then wanted another boy with dc2, yep got a girl.

I did get negative comments when ds was born, my friend had a girl a few weeks earlier and apparently she was really cute, pretty, sweet clothes, quiet, someone even said "isn't x lucky to have a girl, are you going to try again", she got shirt shrift I can tell you. Boys are excellent, as are girls.

Gertie75 · 28/08/2019 22:46

I think you're homing in on any pro girl posts and of course feeling defensive towards your son, I'm the other way as I've got two girls and feel like on here people are always on about how girls aren't as loving, are awful teenagers, are spiteful at primary age and how people are so glad they had boys.

Dh has often been asked if he wants a son now and even the midwife asked me when I was in labour if I would be trying for a boy.

It really isn't very pro girl out there.

Hedgehogblues · 28/08/2019 22:46

@BlueCookieMonster

Why do girls terrify you?

zenasfuck · 28/08/2019 22:47

I don't get it at all
I wanted a boy and that's what I have. Could never see myself with a daughter

LatteLove · 28/08/2019 22:47

*Girls just seem more desirable...I’m not sure why, two people I know kept trying until they got a girl, one person has two boys but wanted at least one a girl instead, one other person I know has three boys but would have loved a girl....I know other people with just girls and have never said how they would have loved a boy instead/additional

Maybe because boys leave but girls seek help from their mothers when they are older and become parents themselves??*

And this is complete garbage. “More desirable” my arse. These are human beings you’re talking about, not a new car.

katycb · 28/08/2019 22:48

I have twin girls and have been asked on many occasion ofbi would have liked one of each usually put as "what a shame you didn't have one of each" err no, I don't mind at all, I would have been super happy whatever sex they had been and also we knew they were I'd from early on so they weren't ever going to be 1 of each...

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