What on earth is wrong with having a boy??

[NCBabyBoy]

DS is 11 months and I love him more than I thought humanly possible! I am starting to get annoyed with all the posts about wanting girls. What is wrong with boys?? I always (from a very young age) thought I would have a daughter first (until my sister had a girl) and am amazed at my little boy every day. I realise I would be equally amazed every day had he been a girl. What is this widespread preference for wanting girls? I genuinely do not get it!

Nothing wrong with them! There are a lot more worries to do with having girls imo especially in this day and age.I love my ds to bits and totally happy I have a son.

I was very lucky to have one of each.
My son is the first born and my daughter the second born.
Both adults now and married with their own families, although we have all remained close and we see them often as they live close by.
I have a good relationship with their spouse's so everyone is happy.
( To be honest, the way my husband carried on when our daughter was born was like no one else had ever had a daughter 😂 )

I'm childless, and have really limited experience of children. So I don't really have a clue about the realities. Bear this very firmly in mind!

The reason if I were to have a child I would want a girl is because of how I've perceived the behaviour of boys when I've been out. I've seen much more rough behaviour, loudness, domineering, selfishness, animal cruelty etc from boys than girls. Now I know this cannot be all boys and it's unfair to generalise, but it is off-putting. I also find there to be a slightly strange quality in the relationship of mothers to boys which I sometimes find a bit disturbing - you see it over and over again in threads on here about DHs: a desire by mothers to be the First Woman in his life, to compete with future girlfriends/wives etc. which strikes me as odd and uncomfortable and not something I would want in my life.

Like I said, my perspective is coming from a place of ignorance. But the question was why people want girls, and that's my genuine and honest answer.

I have two adult sons. It used to drive me mad once the youngest one was born and people would ask if we were planning on a third child to see if we'd get a girl.

I'm never happier than when I'm at a football match with my youngest son (my husband doesn't like football, I grew up watching it with my Dad) or at a concert with the older one, we have the same taste in music.

The oldest has been with his girlfriend for 3 years and I get on really well with her and love spending time with her. Like me, she's not a typically girly girl (although we both love make up and doing hair).

I've never been disappointed that I didn't have a daughter. My boys are wonderful, they've grown into kind, considerate and polite men (and they're very good looking).

@HarrySnotter Google "gender disappointment Mumsnet" and read the OPs of the first ten hits. They're almost all about disappointment at having a boy. I'm not making this up :)

That’s so odd, I have it the opposite, I have girls and my inlaws keep asking for a boy to carry on the name and be “real” last names

I shut that shit down fast.

I agree with the OP that it does seem to be a "thing". I've seen posts on here and I'm also a member of a few UK baby groups on Facebook and the majority of 'gender' disappointment comes from women wanting girls. I have been quite surprised at just how many posts I've seen about it!

Yes I’ve definitely noticed that girls seemed to be more ‘desired’ by women who have a preference- 99% of the gender disappointment threads are women wanting daughters, 99% of the ‘gender swaying’ threads ask for tips on how to sway the odds in favour of conceiving a baby girl.

If a woman is desperate for a baby boy on these types of threads it’s usually because they already have DDs. I also see countless threads on parenting sites where women already have a DD and are anxiously hoping their second is another girl.

I don’t get it personally but it definitely is a ‘thing’

@NCBabyBoy I don't for a second think you're making this up, why would you?! I'm just saying that I've never seen those types of posts personally.

@HarrySnotter misunderstanding - I meant it in a friendly way - "I know it's weird but have a look for yourself". That said, people do make the strangest things up on here, no clue why :)

Maybe is a reaction against what happened in the past. I gave birth to my eldest D's 32 years ago. And sorry but I can remember people feeling sorry on tbe maternity ward for women who had a girl😂 i have 3 children 2 boys and a girl. They were all perfect and healthy and I love them. I think it's all politics and social pressure. Enjoy your little boy. All babies are precious x

I had no preference just wanted a healthy happy baby. Some people like to have one of each but if I have another I will be happy whatever the sex.

I don't really understand preferences, though many people have said boys have better temperaments when growing up. Whether that's true or not I have no idea.. but would say it's more about how you raise your child that contributes to how they are later

I would have liked a daughter once,, but now teens, having two boys has taught me that having same sex siblings has been absolutely the best outcome.
Remember too, that this is a predominantly female forum, yet there is a wealth of research to show that most men want boys and indeed are are far more likely to leave the family unit if their offspring are solely female.

I never wanted a boy. Always wanted two girls. I just didn't have any interaction with little boys apart from classmates in my own childhood and of course I played with the girls rather than the boys.
I got my two daughters and was thrilled and when I got pregnant again I got a boy and he's bloody amazing.
There's nothing wrong with baby gender preference as long as you love your kids no matter what.

I have boys who I love with all my heart. They are all very different. In many ways they conform to gender stereotypes and in other ways they don't. They all love everything from nerf guns to hama beads and have a wide range of interests. I generally believe that almost all differences in personality are down to temperament/ the individual not gender. BUT- I have also had a fair amount of sadness about not having a daughter.

Just because a certain behaviour is socialised rather than hardwired, it doesn't mean it isn't real. our society is heavily gendered. Unless you are raising a child in isolation their gender will have a huge bearing on their experiences. I adore my boys, but in general find boy socialisation (the toys, films, tv shows, books etc aimed at them as well as the priorities and behaviors and play styles of their peers) to be mainly tedious and often violent and destructive. In general I find girl socialisation fits my own interests and worldview more. I would have loved to experience those things again through a daughter. I do many stereotypically 'girly' things with my boys and they enjoy them but society is heavily working against me on that, and it always feels complex rather than straightforwardly fun to tdo this. I also often find it hard to help my boys in certain situations to do with friendships etc as the dynamics are so very different from what I am used to, whereas I feel that I understand the problems/ concerns etc of the little girls i know far more. Yes it's socialised, but it's still real.

I’ve noticed a strong preference for girls amongst my own peer group. It seems to have swung the other way from when boys were preferred.
I have both Dd’s and DS’s. When I was pregnant I wanted daughters, as I wanted to recreate that bond I had with my mother and sisters when we are all together, especially now we are adults.

People have preferences for all sorts of reasons. Some will be stereotypes, some will be based on their past experiences, and some on their current circumstances. Labelling these people as being 'tedious' or whatever without understanding their reasons (which you can't fully understand from a forum post) isn't fair.

@NCBabyBoy it sounds like you're projecting these people's personal preferences into judgement at your own family. I don't think that's fair either - unless some completely out of order person has passed a negative comment to you about YOU having a boy!

Stereotyping in either direction isn't helpful. When someone tries to comfort a person who is disappointed by saying that the other sex has x,y,z issues they will now not have to deal with...

@Weathergirl1 I was pregnant at the same time as a good friend. She really, really wanted a girl, which she had. It's hard not to take it personally then - she would have been disappointed had she had my baby. I don't think I'm being unfair, I think that people can have a preference, but expressing it in a way that says that the other option would be really undesirable can be hurtful/ offensive.

BTW, my question wasn't why people have preferences, but why these preferences are almost exclusively for girls.

@NCBabyBoy, she wasn't saying what you should want, she was saying what she wanted. Unless you are very, very sure that she has not had negative experiences with men there might be deep reasons for this that she doesn't feel comfortable sharing. Take offence all you like, but her reaction isn't about you. TBH I think that is the thing you need to learn from all this--if it's not about you, it's not about you (or your baby). No-one is saying your baby is less than or your love for him is wrong, they are just saying that for them a girl was what they needed.