Calling all immigrants. Any aspects of British culture you struggle with?

[FishCanFly]

I will start:

• Kids bedtimes. I've been called neglectful.
• School uniforms. I could buy many more clothes within reasonable fashion.
• Film\game ratings. Like if Skyrim would harm a 12yo

@Whistle73 Well in other countries they only have mixer taps (many people in UK do now too, finally!). Say you want to wash your hands with warm water - with separate hot and cold taps the water is either cold or boiling hot what do you do? I find myself putting a little hot water on my hands then adding a little cold to get the right temperature. With mixer taps you can choose exactly the right temperature to come from the one tap. Separate taps are a British peculiarity

Every little thing that a child or parent of the child says or does that is not within the cultural norms for Britain (England specifically) is child abuse.

I find people rather uptight, others quite miserable or rude. Although those with a sense of humour, I warm to.

Also this
I struggle with the lack of enthusiasm and optimism. I’m a fairly positive person so I miss having that around. People seem so reluctant to display happiness!

what's the issue with separate hot and cold taps you speak of?

It's because your hands are either freezing or burning when you wash.

Regarding bedtimes

I told my dc's teacher my dc's bedtime is 9pm/they actually only fall asleep them.

The look on her face!

They wake at 7am. 10 hours of sleep is enough, surely? Their bedtime used to be 8pm when younger and they're both high achievers.

@LegallyBritish @SallyWD thanks, I get it now. I think because my hot tap takes so long to heat up to really scalding hot, it's fine to use to wash hands. But then I'm extremely weird because I brush my teeth in hot water!!

I've always wondered why everything shuts at 5:30, and even earlier on Sundays. Most people work Mon-Fri 9-5 so who is even going to these shops in the daytime?

This thread is getting a bit weird - lots of European countries have these timings, many shutting shops, even supermarkets, completely on Sundays. I think it’s strange to make comments like this about a country when you clearly have no understanding about many other countries
And not everyone is at work 9-5.30. Some people are retired, on maternity leave, are SAHMs, work shifts, work evenings, work part time... the list goes on. Did that really never occur to you?

Ok I know I'm going to potentially sound dumb but oh well...

Why do people pay more for expensive brands here? Back home, expensive brands usually have some sort of logo or something on them to indicate that they are expensive. Whereas in the UK, you can probably find a similar copy of a shirt from Zara at Primark... And there's no Zara label on it to show it's from Zara? So why pay more? Why not just get the H&M, TopShop, Next, Zara etc copycats at Primark?

OrangeCakecrisp

Back home stores in malls do not close until 9pm everyday (10pm in some cases) and during the holidays they extend hours. Sometimes on the days right up to Christmas, some might go for 24 hours and will hire extra seasonal staff. It's much more convenient for people who work and commute home. A store like Asda which claims to be 24 hours, would actually be open for 24 hours. Same as a few places to eat, it just depends on what hours some people are willing to work but some people actually seek out working later.

YY to hot and cold taps - we had to have mixer taps everywhere!

This thread is getting a bit weird - lots of European countries have these timings, many shutting shops, even supermarkets, completely on Sundays. I think it’s strange to make comments like this about a country when you clearly have no understanding about many other countries confused
And not everyone is at work 9-5.30. Some people are retired, on maternity leave, are SAHMs, work shifts, work evenings, work part time... the list goes on. Did that really never occur to you?

Firstly, I said most, not all. 9-5 Monday-Friday is the most common work pattern for most people.

Also, I have been to 30 countries and the only one I've noticed being as bad as/worse than England with shops staying open was the Netherlands, where everything shut even earlier than here.

Many countries I've been to have shops open till 10pm, with many being 24 hour, and open on Sundays.

Separate taps are meant to be used with the plug in the basin.

I can't eat later than 7 ish otherwise at bedtime I feel horribly full and can't lie down. I guess late dinner means late bedtime which isn't good for most working people.

Hobsbawm I can totally relate to the family thing. My immediate/close family consists of about 3 generations. DS had to do a picture of his family unit one year in school and drew about 20 people, including close friends who aren't actually related, his teacher thought that was really funny!

I think it strange (and a little sad) that so many British people don't really know or befriend their neighbours. When I was growing up, we always knew most people on our street, we'd have kids from the neighbourhood over all the time, my parents would frequently have our neighbours over for afternoon tea or dinner, my mum would often pop next door for a natter. I had several of our neighbours at my wedding.

I know this doesn't apply to everyone in the UK. I hear that people are much more 'neighbourly' in the north as opposed to the south east, which is where I'm based.

My husband is Portuguese and finds it bemusing how everyone treats lucozade like it's got magical healing properties haha

I've lived in the UK for over 20 years now, but some things I just can't get used to:

-that crisps are seen as a part of a meal/lunch. Where I'm from, they're party food, nothing else

• separate got & cold taps. So annoying

-carpets in bathrooms. Not so much anymore, but I saw many a flat/house with these back in the days when I first moved here and was flathunting. How unhygienic and downright disgusting.

• cards. All the flippin' cards. Esp if you go and see someone for their birthday/Christmas, why give them a card if you're there in person to convey your wellwishes etc?!

I'm sure I can come up with more if I keep thinking about it

And yes to the shops as well… even coffee shops close really early in the UK… I am a night owl, and this is hard for me… I have lived in Italy, Greece, Spain and have spent a lot of time in France. Shops and supermarket close on Sundays, but you can at least find coffee shops open until very late.

That they consider themselves a democracy. For example, apart from her own constituency, nobody voted for May. Parliament didn't vote for BoJo. How is that democratic? Also, that when they vote, they vote for who they think might win rather than what they believe in.

As we have seen in recent weeks, lots of British people don’t understand how our Parliamentary democracy works, either.

We elect MPs to represent us in parliament. Each MP represents a constituency of about 80,000 people and the vast majority of those MPs belong to either the Conservative or Labour parties.

The public don’t elect the leaders of those parties. They are elected by the MPs and members of their party.

Prime Ministers are NOT elected. They are appointed by the Queen.

The person she appoints is almost always the leader of the largest party in Parliament. The Conservative party is currently the largest party and together with its partners the DUP currently commands the support, or ‘confidence’ of the majority of MPs, so its democratically elected leader, Boris Johnson, was appointed Prime Minister. It is not at all unusual for a new PM to be appointed without winning a General election first. John Major, Gordon Brown and Theresa May were also appointed in similar circumstances in recent decades.

If Johnson is unable to maintain the support of the majority of MPs, and loses a ‘vote of confidence’, Parliament will be dissolved, we will have a general election and a new Parliament will be elected.

Separate taps are meant to be used with the plug in the basin.

This just doesn't seem hygienic to me. All the bacteria is in the water and usually stays on the sink unless the sink is regularly bleached. When you dip your hands in pool of water in a questionably clean sink, I just can't see that as being as clean as using running water to wash off the bacteria. I had to do an experiment with a medical science course that checked on how much bacteria remained after handwashing with a blacklight and unless you are scrubbing for at least as long as you can sing happy birthday under a running tap then you probably are carrying lots of bacteria. This can lead to illness or in some cases (like hospital), MRSA. I feel like people should be discouraged from doing this.

I'm half British and half otherwhere, and was raised otherwhere too. "Hinting" at things is a concept I struggle with. Everywhere else in the world just fucking says what they mean. Try it sometime!!

I LOVE this post!

Half otherwhere and was raised otherwere too.

"Everywhere else in the world just fucking says what they mean. Try it sometime!!"

The irony

I’ve lived mostly in England since the late 1990s, having arrived with my DP as postgrad students, and I’ve generally felt happy and comparatively ‘at home’, especially after I had my son here.

However, I don’t like what’s happening to the country now — its becoming increasingly insular and xenophobic, and Brexit is a monumental act of mass stupidity — we’re planning to leave, with some sadness.

In happier times, three things:

I thought the English attitude to death was really strange — there’s a real culture of unease and embarrassment about it, as though death is something horrendous and embarrassing that only happens to an unlucky few, and might be catching. And I find your reluctance to take children to funerals really strange and unhealthy.

The fact that so many of you are apparently happy to still have a royal family, and otherwise apparently normal people toddle about waving flags and buying tea towels for royal ‘occasions’, and it being quite widespread to think the queen is astonishing for simply having not said anything for decades.

My other major bugbear is the widespread culture of glorifying ignorance, and a negativity towards the intellectual.

Firstly, I said most, not all. 9-5 Monday-Friday is the most common work pattern for most people.

It’s not. And you asked who shops between 9-5.30 - I just gave you a few answers.

Maybe this only applies to the people I mix with, but I have never understood how so many people have fizzy juice at breakfast time. By many people I mean co workers and in laws alike!!
Sweetcorn on and in everything and baked beans.
I live in Scotland and it took me a long time to realise that Ken wasn’t a overly popular bloke, and saying bobby instead of barry can be a tad embarrassing.

I cannot imagine having my kids up until 10/11p.m.! I want to watch TV/films that would be inappropriate for them to see, or read a book... Or go to bed myself. I mean, fair enough if they are older primary kids and can entertain themselves or play in their room while I do my own thing, but with a 4 year old I've been playing with them for most of the day already?!

For me it's the "stiff upper lip" - being annoyed about something but too polite to complain (to the person / people responsible).

For me it's the "stiff upper lip" - being annoyed about something but too polite to complain (to the person / people responsible).

This is very confusing to me how people think of it. I almost think it's a sort of brainwashing from the upper classes so people won't question the status quo.

Back home... Too polite to complain = Easily taken advantage of

It's in no way demonstrating a "stiff upper lip" it's more that you are stooge for being hustled.