Calling all immigrants. Any aspects of British culture you struggle with?

[FishCanFly]

I will start:

• Kids bedtimes. I've been called neglectful.
• School uniforms. I could buy many more clothes within reasonable fashion.
• Film\game ratings. Like if Skyrim would harm a 12yo

Early bedtimes too! I have DS 3.5 on Italian time though, he gos to bed at 9 and then gets up happily for nursery at 7. The few times he's fallen asleep at 7 he wakes up at 5....it doesn't bother me though that other people put their children to bed at 7, everyone has different cultures/routines!

The "it's not for the likes of us" attitude people sometimes have. I was on free school meals for a lot of my childhood (parents had health problems) and I went to sooo many extra curricular activities (though there's much less funding now so its obviously harder)

It's not 'lucky' to have have free health care, democracy etc....it's hard won. This is an ancient Island which hasn't been successfully invaded since the Normans. There is bureaucracy and order because there has been for thousands of years. The oldest monarchs needed order to collect taxes, consistency is ingrained.

Working class people went to war and were rewarded with better living standards via the welfare state (very simplistic analysis but true). Before the welfare state poverty was rife. This is a good thing. We followed Germany by offering pensions.

We were never under communist rule and experienced war on the home front in a completely different way than the rest of Europe.

I've been an immigrant or ex pat due to DHs job. There's no way I would have slagged off my adopted home to the natives. You have to embrace differences.

www.hdft.nhs.uk/content/uploads/2018/08/5-12-sleep.jpg

Children under 5 can need up to 13 hours sleep.

It depends on the child just as adults need different amounts of sleep obviously. I used to teach secondary school and it was transparently obvious that so very many British children don't get enough sleep - schools are full of sleep deprived children - they're not all being sent to bed early, or they're being sent to a room full of unrestricted screens they're accessing late into the night!

I've been an immigrant or ex pat due to DHs job. There's no way I would have slagged off my adopted home to the natives. You have to embrace differences.

You seem rather touchy about the UK being criticised civilly, @Lucille. I would be very surprised if most of the people on this thread went around 'slagging off their adopted home to the natives' -- they are simply replying to a specific question about struggling with aspects of culture as they had experienced it in parts of the UK on an anonymous forum.

@Thereblegeopart 16 months but my mum told me when I was around 5-10 I went bed 7pm also?

It is indeed lucky @LucilleBluth. No one our age fought that fight to get the privileges we have today but we get to enjoy them. And compared to children in the countries some of us were brought up in, it is incredible. A child born in the UK is lucky compared to a child born in rural DRC for example.

You may see it differently but that's my opinion!

LucilleBluth it's hard one but not by you unless you're over 90.

It's luck to be born into a situation you had no part in creating.

*won not one

@nothingsreally I wouldn't take the NHS as gospel. After all, it promotes vaping as a safe way to quit smoking.

And that's another thing. Next to everything is state controlled, and no one thinks to question what's being rammed down their throats. I find a big downside to living here is that Britain is very much a nanny state.

Things i struggle with

• asking u alright without stopping to hear the answer

-not saying things to your face -children in bed ridicolously early -consequently no evening life for families(abroad you would go out after dinner for a ice cream, a walk etc)especially in the summer -people vomiting, peeing etc in the street every weekend night -having a baby and not allowing anyone to visit for weeks -complaining those same people that were not allowed to visit dont fall over themselves to babysit quoting"it takes a village" -dreadful fashion sense -dreadful food(especially fruit and vegs are tasteless ). Difficult to find good fish unless you pay with a kidney -GPs are useless -extremely child centric parents so kids grow up very entitled -crappy weather even tho some beautiful places when the sun is out -taking years for people to "defrost" and actually make friends -belief that uk is paradise on earth and all world wishes to come live here -unable to think outside the box, God forbid you try do things slightly differently. -taking queuing to the point of ridiculousness

@LegallyBritish People pay more for an expensive shirt because it's supposed to be higher quality, better fabric, more stylish cut, etc. To a certain extent, wearing expensive clothes covered in obvious labels and brand names could be seen as tacky and showy, flaunting your wealth.

- asking u alright without stopping to hear the answer

They aren’t really asking, it’s a way to say hello.

Next to everything is state controlled, and no one thinks to question what's being rammed down their throats.

What kinds of things do you mean, @Thereblegeopart?

having a baby and not allowing anyone to visit for weeks

I am not British, and DH and I didn't see anyone for three weeks -- in part, obviously, because all our families are in our home country, so we would have either had to have people staying over in our tiny flat with a newborn, or find them an expensive hotel and escort them back and forth daily (not capable of finding their way around London solo).

Yes the nanny state surprised me then it worried me.

I really feel for teachers here - it appears that people want teachers to be responsible for so much!

belief that uk is paradise on earth and all world wishes to come live here

I don't think most British believe it is paradise on earth, it's just that it's not a bad place to live by and large. Also, lots of other nationalities do want to come and live here, obviously.

I am British but have South American family through marriage. They never say it like it is and you almost never know where you stand with them so I would definitely say it's not just a British thing. In our case, we are definitely more up front about things

@KeepStill

It's the way issues are talked about in the media in great length, by politicians on a local and national level, and nothing is done or it's done half-heartedly. These issues are also worsened by the class/financial entitlement of those in a certain socio-economic bracket, IMO.

Eg 1. Childhood Obesity - children are driven everywhere, lunch boxes rammed with junk food wrapped in plastic, no proper and organised system for sports at schools, indoor play encouraged (at school and home) and outdoor play frowned upon as common.

Eg 2. Shops shutting early, and earlier on Sundays and Bank Holidays. Surely the GDP would be significantly boosted if business hours were lengthened?

Eg 3. Over consumption of everything. Government telling people to live within their means, to recycle, etc. Then allowing big Corp to market and sell us plastic tat like there is no tomorrow.

Eg 4. Social welfare - the intrusion and stalkerish feeling you get from compulsory state involvement.

Eg 5. Claiming to promote and uphold equality - then erasing large the hard earned rights of large sections of society.

Eg 6 Claiming to care about children's well being/safeguarding - then actually doing zilch to support those the families of those children.

Oh, there's much more...

Everyone complains about Corbyn and his socialist views, but we essentially already live in a socialist state that seeks to maintain and cherish the lives of the few - RF, aristocracy, etc

I feel myself bristling when I read the list of the apparently dreadful things being endured. But because this is not about the really brilliant things Britain offers, my mouth is zipped. I do ponder, in idle moments, however, why the naysayers don’t just move off to the next country and get on with the I Hate list for the next in line.

Lucillebluth’s post was measured and fair, however, so at least that’s good.

the lists

Love the “You alright?” one though. Lol
Perhaps the complainers should get to grips with idiomatic English some time soon.

Eg 4. Social welfare - the intrusion and stalkerish feeling you get from compulsory state involvement

@Thereblegeopart

Are you saying the DWP shouldn’t be checking that people who are claiming state support are actually entitled to state support?

Also, lots of other nationalities do want to come and live here, obviously.

Given that it is so awful, that fact is baffling.

@Needadvices, oh dear. So much incorrect with what you're bitching about 😂

Are you saying the DWP shouldn’t be checking that people who are claiming state support are actually entitled to state support?

where have I implied state support via DWP is

1. Compulsory
2. Stalkerish

I'm referring to other aspects of state control, that are 1. Unsolicited 2. Judged as unnecessary by the individual citizen of sound mind.