Are there any other former lone parents, now married, with two young kids, who can advise how they afforded childcare and a job, without having to ask for handouts from their husband?
I know if you’re married you’re a unit, but anyone who’s been a lone parent knows how hard it is to ask a man for money when you’ve been used to doing it alone so long. Or more accurately let’s be honest, used to the government giving you handouts for so long.
I want to work, and I want to ensure the kids are adequately provided for in childcare. I just can’t fathom how to do this!
As a lone parent since the kids were born until they were around 7, I did work intermittently, childcare provided by after school clubs, holiday playschemes, no practical support from grandparents or other family (and no financial support from anyone including their absent dad. They didn’t offer and I’ve never borrowed from family in my life so wouldn’t have asked).
I had a part time job where Working Tax Credit paid 75% of my childcare costs.
But it doesn’t pay upfront, which is what childcare providers require, and they calculated over a year, so it only actually gave around £5 a week towards my £220 a week childcare costs.
£220 is double what I earnt in my job...so I got into debt very quickly as unpaid bills, rent shortfall, work travel costs, advance childcare costs, all began to slowly rack up.
If I’d worked full time instead I’d have lost the 75% childcare subsidy, help with housing benefit and council tax, and still wouldn’t have earnt enough to cover the childcare.
Now I’m married and my husband’s earnings just take us over the Working Tax Credit threshold, I still can’t afford to work. Childcare costs are still £220 a week.
They can’t stay with him in his industrial unit 5 days a week.
And although I have A levels I’ve no degree, so jobs will only ever be minimum wage for me. My old car is due to conk out so I can’t rely on that for a work commute for too long.
I’m 50 and have just been made redundant from my part time job. I’ll get about £400 redundancy because my employer cut my hours to 8 a week just before being made redundant, so he only has to pay redundancy rate based on 8 hours not my usual 16. Because I’ll get redundancy, and I’m now recently married, I won’t receive any state help for childcare costs.
My husband just ‘earns a living’. He’s had his own business for decades. If his customers actually paid their invoices on time, we’d be comfortable.
But only a bare handful do, and they’re the ones he’s known for years, they are loyal to eachother and decent people. Everyone else either doesn’t pay, or takes up to 9 months or more!
At this moment in time, I have £15 to last me until £34 child benefit is paid next Tuesday.
I don’t have a joint bank account with my husband.
I don’t know how to afford childcare upfront for my two kids (10 and 12...and the 12 year old is too old for after school clubs now but too immature to stay home alone...what do I do with her??)
So I’ve gone from being an unemployed single parent on around £1400 a month in benefits (including housing benefit, council tax, child tax credit, child benefit) to a part time working single parent on around £800 a month including some help for housing, childcare and council tax costs, but not enough to cover, so gradually got into debt.
To a newly married woman redundant at 50 with no savings, a self employed husband who barely earns a living thanks to his customers never paying him on time, and no hope of affording £220 a week childcare costs to go back to work.